Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1276. page

>>38858980
thats a dude my bro

>>38859005
>thats a dude my bro
I have strong doubts

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>>38859005
>he's never seen a milky cat video

The Japanese are literally the only race pushing the boundaries of what porn can be.

That kid who fell off the water tower

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>that kid who fucked the teacher

>the kid who wore a trenchcoat to school

>the kid who came in his crush's fries and forced her to eat them

>that kid who showed of their self harm cuts and says that they got into a fight

>>38858893
Nice Jeff
Mind if I download him?

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>>38859048
Of course friend.

My problem is the oppposite.

My Mother is too nice that it hasn't pushed me to become a man. She just puts up with me being a 23 year old neet and does everything I ask her to

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Our bull commented that I looked sweet but my hard cock "struggling" to protrude from my panties was a turn off. My girlfriend's solution for that was a cage Our bull didn't like seeing my erection and I couldn't get nasty stains on my lingerie if I wore the cage. It also made her happy and if it made her happy I was happy to do it. She told me to make it slutty and she gave me instructions. So now I was dressed as a woman, including lingerie; I wore slutty make up and had my cock in a cage. My girlfriend loved it and so did I. We were more like sisters now. She even had me shopping with her for some more feminine things like jewellery. I had my ears pierced twice and my bellybutton pierced too. She told me she was considering getting me a tramp stamp tattoo too but hadn't found the right design for me yet.

We started sharing the bull and taking turns with each other. Still, my girlfriend never contacted the bull without my permission and I didn't contact him without hers either. Our relationship continued great and we were more in love than before.

>>38858833
>Does /r9k/ fantasize about being a sissy cuckold?
>
>My girlfriend loves me very much but I know that I can't satisfy her sexually with my 4", premature ejaculating penis. Our love-making sessions usually last under 2 minutes and that's with me going really slowly. I tried going fast and hard like in porn but usually ended up cumming under 30 seconds. She always kisses me and reassures me after I cum that it's fine but deep down, I know that's she's not satisfied.
>
>We started looking for bulls together, they had to be successful, well-groomed and of course; well endowed. We met him at the hotel and I went back home while my wife spent the night with him. I lied in bed with the hardest boner I've ever had and kept leaking precum. About 2 hours later, the bull had sent my girlfriend home. My girlfriend told me that she felt uncomfortable about staying over with the bull because she loved me. She noticed that I was hard and started telling me how great the sex was. She took off my pants and started stroking me, this time; I came even quicker than usual and ended up cumming lots instead of the pathetic dribble I usually had.
>
>Eventually, our bull would let me watch them have sex while I held my girlfriend's hand. I always took a kneeling position on the floor when I came to my hand while my girlfriend came to our bull's cock.
>I started going shopping with her and picked out several outfits and lingerie that I'd like to see her in while our bull took her. To my surprise, she had bought additional sets that were for me. We had matching outfits now!
nobody is gonna read all this

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>>38858919
You cared enough to quote it!

>>38858821
Can't you fix this just by eating raw yogurt? It's not like you're genetically inferior like 60% of the world.

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I used to make fun of fatties relentlessly but then I got sick and put on some medications that made me bloat up fast as hell. I am still on them and I can't lose this weight

hate fatties so god damn much

You can just buy these capsules that contain the enzyme (lactase?) Take one or two before your meal and you're good. You can even open them and just pour the stuff into your food, it is tasteless. Lactose intolerance really isnt that big a deal

>>38858811
>Anyone else find video game girls more attractive than rl girls?

lol, no virgin

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>>38858840
This. Anime girls are superior

>>38858811
they obviously are more attractive, because they're intentionally made to incarnate the ideal of female beauty, impossible to achieve for a mere human being.

also, vaginas are disgusting irl.

What part of the body is being fucked?

She has some big balls

>>38858808
the cum bladder orifice

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*gives up prize huskies*

well you're in luck because i sexually identify as a husky

*grooowwl*
*sniff sniff*
*awooooooooooo*
*nuzzlenuzzle*

You mean kakyoinsunglasses, I thought he was still going?

how can a brain aneurysm kill in seconds but a bullet to the side of the head or forehead you can live through? elliot rodger died from a bullet to the head but some have survived

would it be instant aiming for the forehead? i wouldnt ever do it but like to know

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>>38858729
>Chadaver can't even get it up but he gets Necro-stacey pregnant

>>38858778
A bullet to the head could just pass through and not destroy anything vital, you have to destroy the brain stem to terminate life functions

Let's all laugh at the ______ that never learns anything, tee hee hee.

Guess what? Yeah, ____ fucked his mom again

Hey, what's with all these _____ coming here to take our jobs?

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Yeah
Doing jaw exercises, face exercises, weight lifting, kegels and voice exercises

>>38858678
They don't help. They never help. They are only there to sell you shit. Don't fall for it, robots.

>>38858678
Of you have to watch these you're already screwed

They probably are counter productive by you trying you're probably making it worse

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I wasn't sure about this commercial until the rap part. Pretty cute.

>>38858631
We don't have this shit because we're not all kpop loving faggots who would love anything as long as it's "kawaii desu nee"
And we wonder why korean men are all beta looking traps.

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>>38858753
I actually fucking hate kpop and South Korea

South Korea is an evil country and I don't support them. I feel like South Korea antagonizes Japan and I like japan more.

I just thought it was a cute video. That's all.

By divine and unholy right i am the hero of this era. Everything i do is blessed by the gods and devils of hell and nothing can or will make me think otherwise.

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I'm the anti-hero the world doesn't need but they'll have anyway

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Since childhood I knew that I was nothing but a random NPC. I'm not important enough to be a hero or a villain.

>>38858568
Where the fuck do you get cold water? I take them in the winter sometimes, though it's annoying since it's already cold during that time.

>>38858568

Where the fuck are you from wheee you don't get cold water? Cold water is more common than hot and it costs less to heat up, are you just disabled?

>>38858674
Was this meant for the above reply?
Anyway, in Arizona. We only get it here around wintertime. Currently I get lukewarm water out of the tap.

>>38858565
Did tetris make them trannies. or is it something else about it?

>speedrunners

tetris ends?

>>38858828
yes! https://youtu.be/PeNB4w99FiY?t=1h21m18s