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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1864. page

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>have foot fetish
>apply for job at womans shoe store
check mate comfy neet poster
8 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38540552
That's fucking genius. Fuck this security guard shit.
>>
>>38540552
>you will never be able to calm your boner
>get charged with sexual harassment
>jail
LMAO
>>
You might also want to get a riduculously hot wife that you'll never want to have sex with

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What were the emo/goth crowd like at your schools anons?

did you ever have a chance with an emo/goth QT?
16 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>38540505
WHY MUST YOU REMIND ME THAT ILL NEVER HAVE A EMO MILKTANK GF
>>
>>38540505
They were unironically normalfags that always made out near the lockers. I know this is going to sound hilarious coming from a robot but some of them looked really fucking hideous compared to me and managed to score busty qts. At that point I realised I'm destined to be alone.
>>
>>38540505
I wish emo / scene was still a thing. I still dress up like it sometimes

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Another year another birthday

what should I do today lads?
14 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38540485
Get your mum to make you a nice cake.
>>
treat yourself to a game of miniature golf
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>>38540567
This. Minigolf is fun. Or bowling.

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Would you consider yourself a misanthrope?
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
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yeah who wouldn't be in these times.
>>
No, I love everyone in a really disconnected way. I just don't like most of them much.
>>
You always feel like you are the only one in the world, like everyone else is crazy for each other, but it's not true. Generally, people don't like each other very much. And that goes for friends, too.

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Is anyone else afraid to have a girlfriend because if a group of nogs harrassed you on the street you couldn't defend her?

This isn't a fantasy scenario for me, I live in a heavy migrant area and there are constantly groups of muzzies or nogs roaming the street trying to find people to fuck with.
21 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>38540466
It's part and parcel of living in a developed country. Think of it as reparations.
>>
I always carry a knife so no
>>
>>38540488
So do a lot of them though. And the choice is them to watch you gf get raped or go to prison and get raped yourself

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ITT: Ways you won/lost the genetic lottery.

Wins
>good face
>low appetite so naturally stay around 140lbs
>abundance of physical energy
>thirst to understand new things
>extremely clean and tidy

Losses
>motion sickness. Even scrolling through 4chan makes me dizzy, I vomit a LOT
>absolutely zero patience for anything not directly improving myself right this second, can't switch off and relax
>5'9"
>Random bouts of severe social retardation
>grind and clench teeth in sleep giving me migraines which cause me to vomit even more than usual

Tl:dr anything I eat, I know what it's like to eat it in reverse, also I guess vomit stories thread. If anyone wants I can post some funny ones that happened to me.
176 posts and 34 images submitted.
>>
>relatively high iq
>naturally good at babby tier math (everything before real analysis)
>well off family
>fast metabolism and consistent 130lb

>5'9"
>motion sickness
>zero attention span
>sleep disorders
>physically weak
>small dick
>face too manly to be a trap

tl;dr if i was just a bit more effeminate i could have been a cute trap.
>>
>high iq
>big dick
>above average height
>good features

>unsymmetrical face
>shit upbringing
>bad skin
>mental illness
>>
>>38540588
>big dick
I never really understood this, is there really that much variation in dick size?

I kind of just assumed everyone was average 5-6 inches and anything else was pretty rare/abnormal.

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hey, i found a rare brandis
10 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>38540365
>That's good to know. That's good to know

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vU2yQG96vB0
>>
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>Best Brandis
>>
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>>38540773
Touches my heart, I wish I was part of a never ending story

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Islam is the most robot friendly religion ever made ever.
Just accept it.
You know it agrees with all your ideals unless you're a normiescumbag anyway.
83 posts and 16 images submitted.
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>>38540325
>Islam is the most robot friendly religion ever made
How so?
>>
>>38540325
I can't wait till the riots start and I get to go ancient white on your ass and smash your bones to dust and eat your heart while stab wound fucking your children
>>
>most robot friendly
>savage plebs who value masculinity and probably think traps are gay
No thanks

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>tfw feel like any girl who is nice and friendly with me and pays attention to me must like me
11 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38540313
>tfw feel like any girl who is nice and friendly to me and pays attention to me must feel really bad for me and is only talking to me out of pity
>>
If she does not 'like' me, she should stop giving attention and fuck off anyway.
>>
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>>38540313
I forgot to mention that I had a 30 minute conversation with one of my coworkers on lunch break yesterday, and I am now convinced that she wants to be with me.

Just gotta figure out how to make the moves on her.

I DID IT GUYS I GOT A GF SHE ASKED ME OUT.
15 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>38540173
Give us details and we'll give you tips.
>>
>>38540173
Don't screw it all up like I did.
>>
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>>38540173
Please share the story desu~

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What is your girth anon-sama?
34 posts and 6 images submitted.
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4inches (12cm) at FULL erection status. Like diamonds mode. If I'm a little spongey than maybe ~10cm
>>
barely any, pencil dick.
>>
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>>38540067
>What is your girth anon-sama?
5.5 but my length is 5

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I got my first onahole yesterday
Why didn't you guys tell me about this sooner?
This shit feels so good
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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There have been onahole ads on 4chan since forever though.
or at least there uses to be
>>
>>38540059
Boy pussy is ever better anon, you should try it.

Just think of it as using him as an ona hole it's not gay.

You won't even have to clean up you can just fun inside and let him suck your cock clean and be on your way.
>>
>>38540077
That's totally disgusting and you should be ashamed. Also checking double dubs fuck the robot.

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Dangerously close to the edge of the archive edition
549 posts and 88 images submitted.
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>havent had a tv license for 7 months
>get a letter saying they are coming to do an inspection on my house

so i can just tell them to fuck off when they show up, right?
>>
recommend me a book i've exhausted every other kind of media ha ha
>>
2nd for developing alcoholism

Post your Oneitis, rate others Oneitis
111 posts and 35 images submitted.
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Having a oneitis is a mental illness, I wish you a speedy recovery.
>>
>>38540002
cute smile, looks like she has a nice personality
>>
>>38540002
4/10
>>38540129
7/10

I don't have one
how was this not an original comment?

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>tfw fapping to shemale porn while listening to alex jones and smoking weed

is this rock bottom?
16 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Nah dude, we can go deeper.
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>>38539870
play some videos of coppercab yelling while you're at it
>>
>>38539870
>shemale
>deep
You don't know anything reddit frogposter. How about women contemplating dog knees?


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