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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4503. page

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>tfw you realize your perfect gf is a girl(male)
>tfw you learn that they're more loyal than any roastie could have been thanks to their attachment issues and fear you'll leave them, not the other way round
>tfw they're be their to greet you when you came home from a long hard day of work with a kiss and a delicious meal
>tfw they dress and look cuter than most roasties
>tfw you realize you never wanted it because you just couldn't stand the dick even though their boypussy is tighter

why won't you anons appreciate traps more?
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
are you saying that a girl (male)s asshole is tighter than a females asshole?
you're lying. this is just your fantasy.

but it's a good fantasy, after all.
of course i am, it's an objective truth. usually girls have taken it up the ass from tyrone before, your trap gf has dedicated their body to you.

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This is a weird place to ask but is anybody here familiar with the super best friends?

Is matts wife/girlfriend/whatever a tranny?

She always wears a choker which a lot of trans do to hide their Adam's apple...she also has a fairly deep voice.

I need to know, please help.
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
Originalalino bumperino
I've seen people mention it occasionally here but there's really no telling one way or the other
It hardly matters anyways
No, she's just Italian.

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wow anon you actually came here for a girls night?

haha, you know we called your cell as a joke right?

what a loser
8 posts and 3 images submitted.
ah but whatever! get those clothes off and let's get started on that dick!
>called your cell
is it the 1990s
>implying I leave the house
try again op

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I have a a habit of entering relationships with women I do not love. I've been doing this for about 8 years now.

It started out as a way to talk to stacie without shitting spaghetti everywhere.
I 'd talk to ugly girls at my work to practice, then when I got good at it I talked to progressively hotter and hotter girls.

I'm afraid I've acquired some sort of mental illness. the one that makes you manipulate people.
There's a way you can groom/interact with girls where they become emotionally dependent on you. The process is as follows.
>Meet someone you like
>do whatever it takes to win them over
>Win them over
>Earn their trust
>prey on their insecurities slowly over a long period of time
>make them lose confidence in themselves
>Be there for them whenever they need you
>Learn all their insecurites
>Go too far every now and then (emotional or verbal abuse in an argument)
>Apologize if she cries
>Make up for it by any means necessary
>Go too far again
>Have them apologize
>Accept their apology
>Always do whatever they ask of you, never owe them anything
>Make them develop feelings for you through repeated exposure
>Become their boyfriend
>If they have a boyfriend, always one-up the dude whenever he's not there
>Literally the second he fucks up, you can get her to break up through the power of subconscious suggestion
>Once you're her bf do everything she wants you to do
>Be literally perfect. be better than all her friends. Learn about them then do it better
>e.g. If she shares a common interest in photography with one of her friends. read as many books on photography as humanly possible.
>Have sex with her so she can become emotionally attached to you (eat her out if you have to)
>she has to cum otherwise there's a chance she'll remain independent
>The next day, act like last night never happened.
>play on her insecurites as much as possible without being a dick.
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
No one cares


30 year old here been doing the same thing.

Not even sure if love is a thing.
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You could have summarized this tl;dr shit in a single image.

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6 posts and 1 images submitted.
>lmao no one will guess it's base64 i'm such an h4xx0r xD
G5VAY(&1O('EO=2!H879E('1O(')U:[email protected]=&AE('!O;&PL(&%N;VX_

Why do normie girls love to show off their designer bags so much?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.

Dont know. Ive never paid more than 20$ for a bag
Same reason people buy lambos, to thow their apparent wealth. Its a money based dick waving contest.
money makes them think they suddenly appreciate bag design

goes for everything really. once someone gets in the groove of setting fire to their wallet, they become connoisseurs of the most stupid shit.

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i lost my dream virginity today
6 posts and 2 images submitted.

What did you mean by this?

You dreamt for the first time?

You had sex in a dream for the first time?

Kek. I love you robots.

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I see too much sadness and despair on this desolated land, and I do not appreciate it. From now on, I will come every day on this board to bring what you people lack the most : hopes and motivation.

Socializing. A basic, yet essential task for every normie out there, but surely a pain in the ass for most of us here. You may or may not see a necessity for such a thing. I'm a cyborg, so it's not something that hard for me to do, but enjoying it is another kettle of fish. Personally, I don't find it that essential to move on in life, but it tends to make everything easier.

That's why I talk about it here. Having someone to talk about what you want to do can be really stimulating. Well, somehow we're already doing it here, giving hope to anoyone who needs it, but I'll never be as efficient as a close friend.
For now, concentrate on what you have to do. Until you can find someone, I'll remain here. Go, robot !

Failure isn't an end, it's the first step to success.
8 posts and 3 images submitted.
Bump, thanks for the effort and encouragement
Bumping for some positivity on this board
TTGL wasn't that good, honestly

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It is legitimate caucasian hours. Who is awake?
8 posts and 3 images submitted.
wrong dumbshit it's 2 am we sleepan now
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I'm awake and soon to go off time travelling with john titor!
i could not sleep my mortgage is overdue for payment and my toilet is broken

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What's the relationship between Pepe and wojak?
10 posts and 5 images submitted.

childhood robot friends who grew apart.

pepe turned into a insanse/psyhcopathic chad and wojak became a beta wageslave. Pepe bullies wojak because he's insance.
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the best description in one pic
that's also the relationship between Bob and Mike

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>Get pain in testicles
>Start urinating more often
>Body odor changes
>ass becomes super itchy a lot
>urethra hurts sometimes
>Go to doctor
>get diagnosed with gonorrhoea

What the fuck life? Why do you do this to me?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
Did you call your former girlfriends to tell them about this? They might want to know.
How did you get it?
Or how do you think you got it
former girlfriends

I've never touched a woman romantically. I shake hands with them like an autist. I don't know if I should squeeze super hard not to look like a beta or I should just be gentle to not crush their hands. I barely make eye contact because it freaks me out.

I don't know. I don't know. I shit in public toilets sometimes. Maybe I got jizz on my balls somehow? This is the worst.

I can't believe I have an STD and I've never even kissed a girl.

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Recently found some small, round, white pills with TEC on the front and a line on the back of them, I think they're percocets but I'm not sure.

Anyone have an idea what they are or if they're safe? Not experienced with drugs.
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
Its acetaminophen. Acetaminophen kills your liver. Dont take that shit.
it's a perc, oxycodone+tylenol
Should I just flush 'em? Don't know anyone to help me 'distribute.' Might keep one just to try it out.

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be my friend

10 posts and 2 images submitted.
d-did you sneeze on your keyboard anon??
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sorry haha i have a bad sneezing problem

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Whats up kids
drinking stoly
alone on a sunday night
no one to talk to

how is your sunday night?
9 posts and 6 images submitted.
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Listening to the Chicago police scanner and driving virtual trucks over virtual rocks and mud in spintires.
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Hows my nigga Robert doin?

is that game fun? sometimes i like to play islamic truck simulator in GTA.
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Its a warm night, so it was goin down.

Its basically just an offroad simulator with giant russian trucks and a ton of mods. The devs are ded so id wait for it to go on sale again if i was you. There are still multiplayer games so its not all dead.

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Anons, there was a brown recluse in my room. It was under my bed. I'm afraid to go to sleep now, I'm scared there'll be more.
Help me.
9 posts and 4 images submitted.
Yeah it's gonna lay eggs under your bed.
Did you kill it OP? You didn't mention that very important fact. If not, get a flash light and look in the corners.
Also, if you're having trouble going to bed, read a book. That works for me!
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yeah look for signs of more of them, make sure it's dead

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