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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4111. page

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>when you let the kitten lick up your cummies.

Halp ;-;
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when the new one is just not enough for the night with my wife

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>open instagram
>one of the girls im stalking is doing instagram live
>im the only one there
>we talk for half an hour


>ive left robothood


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R u gonna boink her benis?
breddy sure shes got a bussy

Leave my board, you are already a normal scum.

So this is a tinder method/strategy I just kind of came up with, and will possibly try out in the near future if I can manage to get some better photos of myself. But I couldn't help but run it by you guys in the meantime. keep in mind this would probably only work for the cyborg who goes unnoticed by women, but isn't too ugly/deformed

>We all know that Stacies get matched all the time on Tinder and get tons of messages, sometimes they even just match guys for a confidence boost
>Yet getting a match as a guy is comparatively harder at every attractiveness level
>Create fake tinder profile with Chad pics (but be sure to use your real name)
>try to choose a chad that at least has similar features to yours, preferably even similar picture types to yours
>Acquire matches using your elevated profile
>After you gather 15 or so matches, change your photos back to your real ones and wait a day
>send your best opening line
>leave r9k after fucking a tinder girl
4 posts and 1 images submitted.
That's actually a cool idea op

The question is whether or not they'll unmatch you because they realize you're not a Chad
I think tinder has some sort of built in thing to detect if you're using a fake picture/changing your picture
yeah that's the hardest part. I guess it would depend on how many matches the girl has. lots of matches = less likely to notice
There is probably some fraud detector, but nothing is foolproof. The idea is to make the switched photos not so obvious/only up for short periods of time while you are swiping. Besides, SMS verification is pretty easy and cheap to get done these days if you happened to get banned

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>every day thing about starting to run and stop being fat, but keep telling myself I can start tomorrow
>day after blizzard
>ice everywhere
>realize that I have no choice but to wait, then decide not to let the ice stop me and go for one anyway
>go for run, dodging ice patches and snow
>lady in front of her house says "that's dedication"
>laugh politely then look forward again
>decide it would be funny to say "yeah I'm dedicated TODAY but what about all the other days when it's not icy out?"
>turn back to her and start saying "yeah I'm dedicated TODAY..." and trail off because I'm running past her and I realize how long it takes to say it
>stop running and never go down the block again
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start lifting
start reading
Push up's and jumping jacks also SLAV dancing.
Boom there done next shit question.
>start reading
Huh? Start reading what? Like fitness shit, or in general?

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>tfw rich and successful
>still no gf
>have to rely on prostitutes

Why are women so evil? Don't they want stability?
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they do, just not with you ever.
>rich and successful
>don't have a gf

Do you have high standards?

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>tfw you dream of nothing
>wake up tired
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always thought I was alone with that. been like that for7-8 years now. got used to it
i dreamed about my oneitis today. it was brief and only at the end of the dream. tfw can perfectly remember her laugh ;_;
drugs fucked it for me

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I think I may have seen one of you guys at the grocery store.

> be me
> be at supermarket
> old, graying lady comes in
> followed around by taller, fatter guy in black fedora who is too young to be her husband

earlier this week, thursday i believe

if this described you and your mother, please step forward
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t'was me my fellow poster
Fuck you my mom always buys those shitty off brand chicken tenders and I have to keep repeating to her when she goes to the store to get name brand. Then she comes home and does it again.
So now I have to go with her to make sure she gets the good ones

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I seem to freak out over the smallest things. I'm wondering if you guys would think I need some kind of therapy. Here are some tidbits about me:

>I am currently on my 5th/6th beer and am freaking out about it. I am wondering if I am permanently messing up my brain, or my bodily functions. I fear that tomorrow I will wake up, and my brain/body will be different and I won't perceive things in the same way.
>Whenever I shave, I get incredibly anxious when I shave my throat/neck. I think about it nonstop for the whole day and my neck has a weird feeling. It's this constant fear that I am going to inflict permanent damage upon my neck and breathing.
>I hate wearing dress shirts. Whenever I wear them, they feel too tight (even if I can put my whole hand under the collar) and I spend the entire workday freaking out about my breathing and the tightness around my throat.
>I freak out whenever chemicals are used. My mom sprayed febreeze in the room, and because I spilled stuff on my bed she cleaned the bed with baking soda and vinegar. I have spent the last 3 days totally worried about how it will affect my breathing and my brain.

I know this sounds weird, but this is my reality. And I'm wondering, should I see a therapist, and what kind? I'm just tired of worrying about everything, I wish I could let loose. Is this even worth getting medical attention for?
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>I freak out whenever chemicals are use

You do realize everything is made of chemicals right?

>be me, pharmacist-in-training at college
>have a nerdy 8/10 qt3.14 gf, studying to be a physicist
>she's at her dorm, it's a Friday night so I ask her if she wants to go see Wonder Woman in theatres
>i drive over to pick her up
>open her door
>"Are you ready to go?"
>"Yeah Anon, I just got to grab something quick!"
>she turns around to grab something off the table
>she turns back around, it's a fucking fidget spinner
>"Ready!" *spin spin*
>i lose my shit
>fucking bludgeon her to death
>i leave her body there, lock the door from the inside and jump out the window
>luckily she doesn't have a roommate
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>next day, at a lecture
>joking around with friends, shooting the shit, not really paying attention
>"Come see me after class..."
>"*sigh* fine.."
>lecture finishes, i stay after
>"What is it?"
>"Write a fifty-sentence essay on the chalkboard about how you won't disturb my class again!"
>what the fuck, is this elementary school?
>fuck it, not risking my grade
>write about 20 sentences
>i'm fucking done
>her back is turned to her desk, she's getting ready to leave
>bludgeon her to death as well
>there's no way I can escape arrest at this point, run back to my dorm, within hours i'm taken into police custody
>trial day
>witnesses come up and whatnot, i'm fucked
>some of my side-chicks plead for my freedom
>found guilty
>life sentence with no chance at parole
>decide i'm not putting up with this shit
>charge at the judge, fucking bludgeon him to death
>wipe the blood off of my silver hammer
>My name is Maxwell Edison

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This just in. Here we go again!
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What's the punishment? Can you report guys for not sitting improperly now?

Do any of you robotos feel the need to be a soldier?
I dont know what i should do with my life, i always loved the idea of being in the military,or maybe the police
It makes me sad that i wasnt born in the roman empire with a nice body
What do you think? would you go? i mean, even if i go, the military here sucks and there are no wars so it would be awful boring
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No, my usual inclination when somebody tells me what to do is to do the opposite. I doubt that attitude would work out in the military.
now that you mention it, usually i have problems with authority, but for some reason i think that i would obey an officer.
I think its because of the powers that the people who give you orders have

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>no one outside your sympathetic family will ever tell you they love you
It hurts man.
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I love you
>You have been muted for 2 seconds because your comment was not original.
>You have been muted for 4 seconds because your comment was not original.

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Do you believe there's a Misaki for everyone?
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No, there is no reason for someone to try and seduce a NEET
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As in a girl willing to drop her time to fix a pathetic Neets life? Provide for him and nurture him back into society? The answer is No, not unless he looks like "le cute nerd guys" with fucking six packs and the whole peter Parke thing going on..

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Is the whole comfy thing just anxiety ridden fucks talking about what helps them self soothe?
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No replies in the DB for this post!

Can someone for the love of God help me calm down? I just had to partake in an event I really didn't want to go to, and the uncomfortable environment, loud music, and people who's company I can do without have left me an anxious mess. I just got home but I'm very on edge and I don't know what to do.
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Hi anon, what's up?

What's going on my dude?

Tell me about it

>tfw had to catch plane this morning and had to deal with all the normos
It just way too long. It was a hall for my young brother's graduation. I spent most of it with my father who's completely different from me and kind of hard to talk to. It's not like it was actively horrible but I just couldn't bear to be there after a few hours and it felt like the night went on forever.

It's already kind of hard for me to be motivated to go out but even now that I'm home I'm still tense. I suppose it's anxiety, but I don't know if it's bad enough to be classified as that. I think I need to go for a walk or something.

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