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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5553. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

File: happypepe.jpg (7KB, 249x243px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>tfw finally have a gf at 21
>she's a virgin too (not to mention incredibly cute and not like most girls at all)
>only problem is she lives in Australia (I'm American) and is a few years younger than me

We met on omegle of all places and have been talking every day for 6 months. How do I make this happen? I'm a NEET with no income and we want to travel the world together.

I've been trying to make money (selling imported products on Amazon, among other things) but that's not secure at all. I just need some advice on how to make it a reality with her where we can travel.
80 posts and 16 images submitted.
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>she's a virgin
>she's a few years younger
>met on omegle
She's 18 m8 relax
>18 year old Australian girl is a virgin
don't be so gullible

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Listen wagie, just don't talk to me until i've had my coffee.

*snaps fingers and clears throat* Ay!..
And also, when you bring my coffee, don't forget my bendy straw, or i'm NOT drinking it, wagecuck!
11 posts and 6 images submitted.
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Y-yes master! D-d-do you need anything else, sir?
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That'll be all ragie wagie wageslave, you're doing good worker bee, maybe if you suck my toes tonight you can have a pay raise. That's right little wagie, you wanna suck bosses tosies for some extra paydirt?

*giggles* Get outta ere! What'd I say about not talking to me before I had my coffee? *takes sip*

c:4800 karel

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>Be me
>Bored day off nothing to do
>Friend texts me "Hey wanna swing by the army surplus store and gets some new boots?"
>Go to Army surplus had a great time didn't get boots but a nice knife, a flashlight, and a legit pair of handcuffs
>Handcuffs = Kinkyboy.gif
>"Hey anon that qt girl from the party works at the thrift store across the street wanna see if she's there?"
>She's off today but boss lady will tell her we came by to see her
>We leave, qt texts me 20 mins later "Hey Anon, ms. Jenny said you guys stopped by"
> chat back in forth a bit then I tell her what I got from the army surplus
> "Cool Anon what's the handcuffs for?"
> Detainee practice and any naughty girls I run into

No response, insta-blocked on everything

Why do I even try?
32 posts and 5 images submitted.
was mildly funny joke i thought.
R.I.P. just go to a group therapy session with people with abusive parents you'll find some there anon

god damn my sides

how can someone fuck up this bad?

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>"I'm home!
>"Anon, come here and give your wife a hug!"
>"I'm so tired from working all day, I need your body for energy!"
39 posts and 9 images submitted.
That's a perfect fertile body.
Why 2D is so perfect?
How can 3DPD roasties even compete?
By existing I guess

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What are some of /r9k/'s favorite Jean Claude Van Damme films?
17 posts and 2 images submitted.
Universal Soldier
Street Fighter
JCVD 2008
ree roasties, chads, woman hate, beta, nogf, manlet manlet, stacy. fembots boipussy wagecuck NEET
Those are all good movies.

Mine are Bloodsport, Universal Soldier and Legionnaire

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Who do you do it for?

Pic related.
13 posts and 6 images submitted.
The hammerhead shark of /pol/ gives me the f33ls.
I'll never share how my imaginary gf looks

you'd take away her purity
Already did fagboi
Bad taste m8. She's ugly and quite dumb, and this is coming from someone who laughed his ass at HWNDU

"So my life is about trolling people and 'pretending' (read: actually being) a vapid whore. I just love trolling"

Ugh, how base. You can do better

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I am from Reddit. I came here for the dank and spicy memes and the epic tendies greentext stories.

But, I must confess, my favorite thing here is rare Pepe smug frogs! He is epicly funny!

Anyway, 4Chan is great for memes, but if you want intellectual discussion, visit Reddit.
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
pepe is dead gramps
Get off this board then actually kill yourself
Here have a upvote fellow redidtor .

>be me
>born at 11 pm
>go buy alcohol on 21st birthday at 4 pm
>not actually 21 yet

Who /devilish/ here?
14 posts and 7 images submitted.
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>mom asks me if i am alright and if i need money
>tell her i feel fine and dont need any money
>am actually broke and havent eaten in 3 days
>be 14
>buying some beer
>age for legal consumption is 16
>get it anyways because I know the cashier
>push shit out
>suck it back in

It's like my devilish tail

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> meet girl online
> start talking, meet up
> form a relationship
> get asked to take her and her family to dinner
> she knows I have a small amount of money
> doesn't know where I live
> meet family for a formal dinner
> "so, anon, I hear you have a small fortune." - dad
> "It's nothing special."
> "You're just being modest, you probably have millions" - dad
> I don't have millions
> get seated at fancy dining restaurant
> I'm supposed to pay ($500 in my checking)
> parents order a bottle of $250 dollar wine
> parents order $60 dollar cheese and meat platter for appetizer
> parents order filet mignon and lobster tail for main course $80 dollars a plate
> I'm sitting nervous not trying freak out about the bill
> realize the bathroom is next to the entrance of the restaurant
> excuse myself before the main course arrives
> walk to the bathroom
> 3 minutes pass
> exit bathroom, and walk out the front door smoothly
> drive away
> realize I left my coat at the table
> fuck it
> drive to wendys
> order 10 nuggets and a Classic Double
> go home
> get text from girl claiming the police are going to arrest her parents for not paying
> lol
> eat Wendys and fap to hentai
> pass out

Am I bad person? Or did I avoid disaster?
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>1008.5 x 2
>taking some random internet roast for dinner in the first place
you deserved it, op
You did the right thing. Fuck her parents for ordering all that
for some reason i pictured a family from India, they have this type of blind persistence.

zero evidence of your financial status, who cares, lets order the 7 course.

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I have alcohol in my system right now but I still feel nothing. Why do I always feel nothing? How do I start feeling things again?
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
Stop drinking and feel the withdrawal symptoms.
remember that group of kids in highschool who got drunk at parties on the weekend and then became daily drinkers and had the shakes every morning by the end of senior year?
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I'm already sobering up. I still feel absolutely nothing.

There weren't any people like that in my school.

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>Thanks for the meal, Anon. You're pretty cute you know that?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
suck me cock missus
Yes I do know that actually.
Let me cum on your face

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>2 years ago
>in a relationship with an equal autismal and plain looking qt for almost 5 years now
>she was my first gf ever, really loyal
>we both just finished college
>1 day before halloween
>she finds out there's a concert of one of her favorite bands in our town with free entry
>hosted in a local nightclub
>don't really like nightclubs but i accept for her sake
>we get there, place is crowded as hell so we hold hands to make sure we don't get separated
>few more minutes pass and the band gets on stage and starts playing
51 posts and 12 images submitted.
You fucking faggot, kill yourself for not pre-typing this shit
And kill your whore ex-gf too, the human race is better off without her
We all know how its going to end, she fucks the band member or something
op don't make an effort to finish this boring greentext

why the fuck is everybody who is making "sad" music looking like picrelated.png they can't sing about being alone and getting your hearth broken
10 posts and 3 images submitted.
because if they looked like an actual robot nobody would buy or listen to their music or put posters of them on their wall
Only the lonely
Know the way I feel tonight
Only the lonely
Know this feeling ain't right
Because it makes him seem cute and accessible to teenie bopper girls. Meanwhile he's pounding Stacies in bathroom stalls.

What have you been caught red-handed doing that caused you much embarrassment?
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
>What have you been caught red-handed doing that caused you much embarrassment?
wearing moms bra and panties when i was 10
trying to fuck my cat when i was 9
Used to lie on the floor with my naked lower body under my bed. Not fun when pops saw

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How do I find a summer romance? I'm done for the semester and tinder is for hookups
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
>summer romance
>not a hookup
you seem a touch confused on the subject
No I want a summer boyfriend not a one night stand
help me robots
I want a bf :(

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