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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5602. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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Just spent the last two hours masturbating and drinking chocolate milk.

How has been your day so far?
wagecuckies need not to apply, we already know that you are still on your slave hours.
17 posts and 9 images submitted.
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Don't forget your daily haircut, neetie
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>cant stop taking pictures of my head
>see little weird misshapen knicks of scalp
>know im balding but will never be able to accept it
Still not a wagie though
>wagecuck already doing damage control

stay mad cucklet

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*blocks your path*

>heyyy, you're cuter than all the guys in my high school. Why don't you call me one day, I love older guys~
49 posts and 16 images submitted.
Turns 360 degrees and walks away
Le original
>Um ok...
>get number
>go on about my day
Flash me so i know you're a not a cop.

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>went to a new barber for the first time in my life
>told him exactly what I wanted
>seemed like he understood it well, made some points and he seemed pretty cool
>even went as far as to describe to me the hair I wanted, and it sounded good
>was a generally cool dude, we talked about random shit throughout the whole procedure
>had to remove my glasses
>put my glasses back on after everythings done
>I look like a fucking rabid pineapple. barely any hair left, I told him I just wanted it a little shorter. Just a little.
>told him its okay and fucked out of there

why do I have to deal with this
7 posts and 4 images submitted.
Pics. Maybe it's not that bad...
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it's okay neetie just get it fixed tomorrow for your daily trim :)
>>told him its okay
That's why.
But more so, if you come back and support the same business afterward, that'll be why.

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>misread post you replied to
>close thread
>close web browser
>turn off pc
>go take a nap
10 posts and 5 images submitted.
you could always just post a
"disregard that i suck cocks" mea culpa
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>come back later
>thread is still up
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>tfw I regularly get nightmares about posts where I emberassed myself

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I'm a girl. If I start volunteering at a hospital, what are the odds I can get a doctor or medical student boyfriend?
33 posts and 3 images submitted.
Nearly 100%. Why not work transport or laundry though? At least you'd get paid. They're always hiring.
Why would a Doctor want you?

If you like that pic, then as soon as you think.
I doubt it though, since you're probably a fat uggo

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When was the first time you ever put a whiteboy in his place?

For me it was back in like the 3rd grade when I was at the tether ball courts and this little fag named Darrel wouldn't shut up and kept on making your mom jokes and shoving me
I got annoyed and socked him in the stomach and dude fell on his ass, all the other kids around me were like Ooooooh lol
He didn't tell on me though, he just said to the teacher we were playing and I accidentally hit him too hard, lmao little faggot looked depressed for the rest of the day after recess
I have no doubt in my mind that he posts on /pol/ now
He never bothered me again which is pretty hilarious

Did I mention I was also the best tetherball player at my school
22 posts and 4 images submitted.
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Nothing to see here bois, just move on your way.
Just another soon to be ded thread.
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This is based on a true story and is not bait

You think I'm a larping /pol/ whiteboi?

No, I beat them up
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>racist nigger chimps out over kid trying to make friends because chip on his shoulder over white people because preconceived media narrative

welcum to jepdy, our categories today are yum yum fun fun, granddads cottage, and history, contestants pls introduce yourselves
18 posts and 10 images submitted.
Hello I'm Greg. I graduated from Northwestern University and work as a part time hamster trainer.
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I'm ez-f nibbuh. Yu fuk cracksers mi nibba strigt outt Konptom.

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>girl finally shows interest in me
>"quirky" goth tumblr girl
>the thought of fucking her makes my dick shrivel up a little bit
>probably still gonna do it just to lose v card
>know I'll hate myself for it
Chad's been dating and fucking any girl he wanted since he was 15. Life really is unfair.
58 posts and 3 images submitted.
Is she cute? If she is cute - then there should be no shame in it. Tumblr girls seem to be kind of kinky and lewd so you might have a decent time.
Tumblr girls are cool if they're not into politics or gender.
>quirky" goth tumblr girl
I'd give anything to date one. They're so cute

>23 years old

end my suffering
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
There's this balding guy in my uni class, 22 years old. If OP pic is you he's much farther along than you.

He recently had a threesome with two roasties and is almost in a relationship with a another girl. He's not a chad by far but he puts himself out there.

I know the stuff is saying is true because I sit next to him sometimes and he is texting with these girls non-stop

baldness will not stop you from getting the pussy
go skinhead
None of that happened. You're full of shit. Shut the fuck up hairlet

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>Meet boy from r9k
>Talk for a while
>I'm straight, he's gay, makes advances towards me
>Something about him is just...endearing
>Turns out he lives near me
>We hang out, I kind of lose control and give him a handjob
>We're boyfriends now
Fuck you r9k you made gay
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
You made that decision yourself fag. And congrats you found love.
No, either being a misplaced /soc/fag revealed to you that you were gay, or your life made you prison gay.
Thank he's really sweet. But I'm not gay

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Does anyone else hate being called "buddy", "bud", or "boss" by strangers?
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
I hate frogposters.
ey b0s, you gave me cancer
Then tell them your name so they know what to call you

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>get a girlfriend
>get a job
>get married
>buy a house
>have children

How come this is literally the life goal of so many people? Is there really nothing more to life than this?
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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For most people it's all they can really accomplish. Most people are average and never do anything that great or meaningful with their lives, so they find meaning and purpose in what you listed.

That doesn't mean it fills that feeling of wanting to be something greater... but it's a good enough distraction for some people

You procreate, have a living space, have something to do with your time and money to spend on food and other dumb shit...

It makes me depressed
Water flows to the sea via the easiest route.

Your biological Will wants you to survive and your brain wants to be content and obtain food, shelter, warmth, a community, sexual relief and someone to be intimate with.

It therefore secures the basics needed for such a life. It's really that simple. Tell most people you want to become a "Famous X" and they'll say they wanted that too when they were young. Tell them you want to leave society and duty and live in the woods, many if not most have wanted that too and still do at times.

Google "Poetry of Departures", it's a great summary of this internal struggle between inherited lifestyle and primitive or individual desires.
Im happy by myself. I see too many complications to a life tied to someone.
True love is a fallacy; lets face it our grandparents stayed together as long as they did because they couldn't find someone else work a fuck.
Now a days relationships have too muc baggage, be it having to work too much for a shit pay or having to pay alimony or child support or spending too much time doing shit you dont wanna do for a Bit of affection and have to sacrifice most of the shit you love to do on your free time.

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What does it feel like to put penis in vagina? How does it feel like in there? Is it as warm there as i hear it to be?
57 posts and 6 images submitted.
its pretty unimpressive honestly
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just about the same as sticking your penis in a warm fleshlight
That first push in, where you completely slide into her? So fucking good. The best thing ever.

After a minute it's not that much better than jacking off.

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women hate / slut shaming thread
74 posts and 27 images submitted.
reminder that the author of these comics is a hapa who's asshurt that his mommy doesn't want to fuck him

I always loved this comic because it's so true. I've seen this a million times in real life where girls say they don't like XYZ or date XYZ kind of guys but when the dude's buff and good looking they'll drop those standards immediately.


So? It doesn't make his observations any less true.
>Girls like buff guys
Shocking. Truly a groundbreaking observation

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>sexual origination
>mental and health problems
>favorite vidyas
>favorite animes
>favorite cartoons
>favorite movies
>favorite music genres
309 posts and 68 images submitted.
>Girl (male)
>ES: Morrowind, Stellaris
>SnK, Dragon Maid, Re:Zero
>Saw, Deathgasm
Irish, German, Portuguese, Native American
>sexual origination
>mental and health problems
ADHD and Aspergers
part-time wage cuck at a photo-shot
Going for Computer Science Bachelors
>favorite vidyas
Overwatch, WoW, TF2, Halo, Witcher, Valkyria Chronicles
>favorite animes
Fullmetal Alchemist, Kill la Kill, Berserk, Puella Magi Madoka Magica
>favorite cartoons
Avatar, Over the Garden Wall, The Amazing World of Gumball
>favorite movies
Watchmen, Spaceballs, Star Wars Lord of the rings, Coraline, Song of the Sea
>favorite music genres
industrial metal, folk metal, alt rock, grunge, anime and vidya OSTs
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>>sexual origination
>>mental and health problems
High school diploma
>>favorite vidyas
Call of Duty Black Ops 3 (zombies), Payday 2, Killing Floor, StarCraft, GTA V
>>favorite animes
Berserk, Welcome To The NHK, Mushishi, DBZ, Ghost In The Shell
>>favorite cartoons
Megas XLR, Code Lyoko, Regular Show
>>favorite movies
Fight Club, Hot Tub Time Machine 2, Wolverine trilogy
>>favorite music genres
Electronic, metal, punk

I really think that bald guy in Hot Tub Time Machine 2 is hilarious.

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