Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2068. page

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FUWA FUWA TIME
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqkLjGS1IXE

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>Bullied by Stacy and Chad for years because autistic
>Never had a GF and socially inept
>Finally move out at end of high school with fellow autismo and one of my only ever friends
> Year after setting up our shit cave
>Switching out job in two days, already quit
>Stacy at wagie job hits on me because attractive face
>Doesn't even know my first name
>Believe with all my heart 99% of Chads and Stacys are psycho, signed a personal pact I would rather keep KHV card than fuck a Stacy
>Friend comes to pick me up
>Stacy proceeds to insult his clothing and call him autistic trash
>Goes into a kiss
>Punch her in the milk bag
>Tell her that her Arby's is dragging on the floor
>Kick her in the shin
>run to car
Any other anons do this before?

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anybody else like german electronic/industrial music?

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Pasta la vista, Noid

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>HELLOOOOOOO MAANITOOOOBAA!!!!
>Great to see you all tonight!
>Sorey, to everyone for our late start.
[white males nod respectfully]
>My cuckold slave saw a cock and nearly crashed our car.
[crowd chuckles as the tension leaves the room]
>Could not help himself.
>Bad Slave! Am I right, or am I right?
>Turns out
>That freakish cock that nearly killed us
[Mistress T is clearly pleased with what she's about to reveal]
>Was the US President
[Crowd is riveted in high-spirited righteous laughter]
>I kid, I kid, Sorey to any YANKS in the crowd tonight.
>We really do appreciate you coming to our fair Canada.
>And not to be a debbiedowner but would you please leave your firearms and bombs at home please?
[Solemn affirmations ripple through the crowd with furtive clapping my the scattered Americans]
>Sorey, where were we?
>Take my cuck, Please!
[Old joke reassures the audience]
>Oh I love me some Manitoba, lemme tell ya
>In fact an older gentleman just bought me a chesterfield so long as I sent him a couple pairs of my runners.
>Very open minded people here.
>Oh, ya, so I just flew in from Vancouver and boy is my slave's wallet empty.
>Good thing the hosers a Canadian submissive, ya know?
>If he was American he'd surely die in the streets
[Restrained laughter]
>Bankruptcy is no fun in the states, no-sir-ee
>But I do like the FinDom, I do.
>Ladies, any ladies in here?
>C'mon we all do it, more or less.
>Financial Domination that is.
>I'm just very, very good at it.
>For instance, one time, I ordered a Saudi Prince to wire me $7400, Canadian, to a Tim Hortons at 3AM, just so I would poop onto my iPad while Facetiming him and his drunk brothers and cousins.
>That's my little contribution to the war on terror, eh?
[A triggered betacuck cries out, voice cracking on the immediate syllable, "Racist!"]

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Fuck Reddit. Let's go upvote our virgin boy EatDatPussy445 https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/6nrc28/you_can_build_a_youtube_channel_for_8_years_to/

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>almost 2:30am
>told myself I would try to get to sleep before 4 so I could wake up at least by 9 or 10
>still need at least two hours to jerk off a couple of times
>been too busy posting on here to jerk off

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Thanks for the memories even though they weren't so great

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Does anybody eIse on r9k ever get vagina envy?

l'm not sure if l realIy want to be a woman, but l look at my dick and just wish l had a vagina sometimes. I hate having a refractory period. I realIy wish l could have multiple orgasms. Good sex and masturbation just seem so much more pleasurabIe for women it makes me deeply depressed...
It just feeIs Iike both biology and my body have betrayed me. Anyone else here know this feeIing?

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>A-anon... Did you *really* stick your dick in my grandma's colostomy bag?

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>He imagined himself singing his favourite song in front of a big crowd
>He imagined himself beating up his high school bully
>He imagined himself as the owner of a Death Note

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Anyone else shower after they take a dump? I just can't feel clean if I don't

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>Anon we should play wiIly wars!
>Whoever can wank their wilIy and make the most willyjuice gets to use the other ones bum as a fanny!
>My willy makes Iots of milk!!!!
>l beat chinese keith at willy wars and when l used his bum later his little chinky wilIy did lots of spurts all down his leg and he wasn't even touching it!

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I got broads in Atlanta

originale

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HE WAS KEKED TO DEATH

WHERE WERE YOU WHEN WOMEN WERE PROVEN TO BE WHORES

Holy shit this is worst than 9/11, SHE KEKED HIM WITH THAT HALF ASIAN RAPPER SIDE KICK THAT HE SANG ALL THOSE SONGS WITH, AND HE HUNG HIMSELF.

LINKIN PARK WAS KEKED TO DEATH