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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1888. page

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When was the last time a girl caught you looking up her skirt?
10 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38528063
Yesterday in the train
>>
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My 9 year old cousin caught me looking up her skirt a few times at Christmas.
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>>38528063
in high school.
i wasn;t even subtle about it either.

i'm cringing now. thanks a lot.

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If you can breed with a 100% fertility woman, but you will die right after. Would you do it?
16 posts and 5 images submitted.
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ye

bloraicjsjixxxxxdadwaef
>>
>>38528060
Yes, but only if I can pick the time to breed, she needs to be a 10/10 and the child cannot be aborted.
>>
Depends upon the kind of death, but I'd be inclined to do so if the death is pleasant enough.

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This be my crush, say something nice about him.
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
Stan is a solid meme.
>>
>>38528053
He isnt as ugly as ge thinks he is
>>
so has anyone been following this guy? is he gonna go ER or not?

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I just want a girlfriend whose ass looks delicious in leggings or spanx :/
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Right's face is absolutely terrifying.
>>
>>38528010
With the thiccness trend still growing, the likelihood of you getting one is as high as it's been yet. You can do it, just put yourself out there! Best of luck, anon
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>>38528010
Me on the left. :3

>>38528034
That's why it's me on the left.

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How the FUCK do I deal with trapped gas? I just want the farts and poop to come out.
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38528002
eat some fucking fruit retard.
>>
>>38528267
Fruit is too perishable, I'd have to go to the grocery store too often if I ate fruit routinely.
>>
Sodium Bicarbonate
Magnesium Sulphate
Citric Acid
consume
it will fix

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Need some advice, m80s

>Go to McDonald's daily for lunch and/or dinner.
>Cutie 3.14 cashier has begun to notice me
>every time I come in she smiles, says hi, and asks how my day is going
>I think she likes me
>She always has a mickey mouse pin on her uniform

I have enough money saved up. Should i book a trip to Disney world for us and surprise her? I think it's a good way to show her how nice I am and it's a good way to start a relationship. What do you guys think?
13 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Sorry anon but every cashier does this
>>
what the fuck no
why do lonely people always interpret those things so wrong
>>
>>38527979
that sounds like a good way to get a restraining order placed on you

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>coworkers start talking about 4chan
10 posts and 7 images submitted.
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You wasted a valuable opportunity to socialise.
>Them : This website is full of retards
>(You) : Yeah, weird fucking virgins amirite
>Them : You seem cool let's drink a beer
>>
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>>38527956
>the only field you're remotely capable of responding with actual knowledge
>don't engage in conversation
why?
>>
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>>38528491
The unspoken rule is that one doesnt speak of thisplace outside of thisplace, you should consider going back.

that is not a jojo reference

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Do not try and "change" the "reality". That's impossible. Instead... only realize the truth. What truth ? There is no "reality". There is no "reality" ? Then you'll see, that it is not the "reality" that changes, it is only yourself. (yourself as the perception, the observer, the point of vue that you represent in the now) Because when you change yourself, when you change what you believe is true, when you change your point of vue, only then your reality will reflect the change. Your perception is reality, and is creating reality, when you change your perception, you change your world. Imagine that what you observe, you create, aka your point of vue creates a reality, or more specifically your point of vue IS your reality, if you completely withdraw from reality for some time, or imagine in your head a different reality, then you will change your reality, because it is not separate from your perception. When i focus on something, i give it energy, meaning i create more of it, but if you stop focusing on it, aka focusing on something else for a while, then it will no longer exist... Reality is a mirror, if you look in the mirror and see a frown, you don't try to change the frown into smile in the mirror, instead you realise that the mirror, is only a reflection, so that if you want the reflection to change, you have to smile first. Reality is like this, but in a more complex way. The idea is that only you is real, the mirror is a reflection of you. So smile, and reality will smile at you back, so be happy and you will experience a happy reality
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38527852
OK, but how do I be happy, morpheusanon?
>>
>>38527852
Reality is too redpilled for me now
>>
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>>38527852
Now go to Africa and tell that to a starving kid

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How does this picture photo make you feel?
18 posts and 7 images submitted.
>>
>>38527850
like I missed out on teen love tbhonest
>>
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>>38527850
horrible thanks to that boy's face

smug because... no reason, just can't stop posting this pic
>>
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>>38527850
Like pic originally related

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This is Stanley

>9/10
>No gf

And you said looks matter?
Think again
12 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38527778
>>>/soc/
>>>/soc/

>>>/soc/
>>>/soc/
>>>/soc/
>>>/soc/


Fuck you,
>>
>9/10
In Albania maybe but certainly not a country God pays attention to
>>
>>38527778
height?
this is the shit matters than your face

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http://www.facesofsuicide.com
I wonder how many of these people browsed here. Also, reading the rememberances hits me with a ton of bricks and reminds me what pain I would pass to my family if I became an hero.
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38527769
I wonder if they will add me there next year, assuming I don't die from poor health conditions.
>>
>>38527769
anon don't depress me more :S
>>
>>38527934
Welcome to the real original world :/

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Mine is mediocrity. The fear that I'll never get gud at any hobby
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Biggest*
>>
>>38527759
I dont commit suicide because I believe my family would miss me greatly, and they've already been through enough shit.
So my biggest fear is realising, at the end of it all, that I trudged through life out of obligation, when they in fact wouldn't have given that much of a shit, and moved on quickly
>>
>>38527809
Suicidal thoughts is like being trapped in a burning building with no way out except to jump out the window to your death. Better jump now before it starts burning too much of yourself.

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Why don't fembots like shotaboys like me?
15 posts and 4 images submitted.
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I wish to know too, OP, i wish...
I posted in a thread about shotaboys and the thread instantly died
>>
>>38527777
very pleasant digits
tfw no mommy gf
>>
>>38527743
;_;
i don know
w-why??
whaaaah

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ITT: Autistic things you did as a kid.

>be me, 12 years old
>Skeletor frame, bowl cut, reeeally into gameboy
>my dad wants to go to a beach condo to visit a military friend
>wants to bring me and bro because military bud is bringing his wife and two teenaged daughters
>dad does the whole "oOoOoH, GIRLS are coming, Anon" thing
>bro is about it, I am more focused on my gameboy
>get to condo
>meet military bud and wife
>from behind the couple emerges the two most beautiful 16 year old girls I have ever seen
>they grace me with a smile, and say hello
>my prepubescent dick is immediately diamonds
>squeek out a "Hey" before using my Gameboy as an excuse to lean over and cover my boner
>eventually it subsides
>weekend goes on as usual, parents drink at pool, we play around, I swim with my shirt on and avoid any social interaction with the goddesses
>Parents want to go to beach to watch the sunset
>walk out to beach
>that's when I feel my stomach decide to hit the emergency purge button
>shit hits my asshole like a crash test car hits a wall
>sphincter barely holding back a log even Andy Sixx would appreciate
>look back, condo is maybe half a mile away, could make it if I sprinted
Cont
62 posts and 16 images submitted.
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Cont
>about to turn when I feel soft hands grab my wrist, I'm diamonds again
>"come in the water with us anon! " goddess 1 beckoned
>goddess 2 is splashing water on my brother
>she pulls me to the sea, much like a siren from the epic of Homer
>shit is prairie doggin from my asshole
>manage to break her grip and sprint
it's too late, boys, this is it
>in head, convince self that if I pretended to sit and watch the sunset they wouldn't notice
>as gracefully as a ufc fighter slamming an opponent I hit the sand, and wiggle my bathing suit so my ass is barely hanging out, pressed against the sand
>pinch a wretched loaf, my god it was big
>loaf is directed towards my feet, sliding down my inner thigh as I push
>raise bum and shake so it frees itself
>family and others amazingly don't notice the unholy abomination I was planting on the beach.
>Pretend to be done and quickly yank shorts up, casually walking off
>think I'm in the clear when goddess 2 yells "UM, DID SOMEONE SHIT IN THE WATER"
please God not now
>family is looking in disgust
>I try to match their level of disbelief, but goddess 1 sees through my lies
>"why would you shit on the beach, anon??"
She is beautiful and a detective, I must have her
>family turns to me
>notice shit stain on thigh
>notice raging preteen boner
>look into dad's eyes and realize that he has disowned me

I still think about killing myself over just that.

Tell me some embarrassing things anons. I need to feel better about this
>>
>>38527733
probably be better if you killed yourself
>>
>15
>visit family friends with mom and sister
>has cute daughter I was friends with as a child
>holy tits batman
>we hit it off and chat about bands
>managing to hide my power level thus far
>mom call for me and anonette from other room
>she has been telling the friends about how I did Tae Kwan do
>they ask me to do my routine
>"yes, now I get to show her how tough and disciplined I have become", I think to myself
>get in the center of the room
>do a low bow to anonette, I must show her the most respect
>flail, punch and kick the air
>forget the rest of the routine
>eventually stop and bow to show I am done
>parents applaud out of pity
>sister's side are in orbit
>anonette won't look at me
>spend rest of visit playing with the animals while sister and anonette avoid me

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Is being a househusband the ultimate robot dream?
>no more tfw no gf
>can forever be a neet
It's just like never growing up! Mom with benefits!
20 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>38527680
It would be my ultimate dream, considering my poor health.
I already live alone and do chores, cook, etc..
>>
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>>38527680
Yes. THE fantasy.
>>
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Only if you ain't gotta take care of no damn kids or pay no child support.

Shiet, they be fucked up thinking im gon raise a child


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