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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 868. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

Hanging yourself can't be that painful, right? The ceilings in my apartment are pretty low so I won't be able to snap my neck. What are the chances of me surviving this method?
21 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Try holding your breath for as long as you can. Then imagine not being able to breath when you want. Then imagine having your windpipe crushed under the weight of your body. Then imagine feeling that for a minute or two, however long it takes you to pass out.

Find somewhere tall enough to break your neck or buy a gun.
>>
>>39266538
I thought about going for a walk in the woods and finding a nice tree to climb and hang myself from but I thought it'd be a lot more comfortable if I did it in my apartment. I'd buy a gun but I don't have any money and I have a felony so that'd make it pretty difficult.
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>>39267057

I'm pretty certain most people pass out pretty quickly by hanging. Plus it's probably the cheapest method of killing yourself besides jumping.

Maybe find some high place to tie a noose, that way you could maybe break your neck quickly.

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c-ccome t-t-o our discord. w-we want to be your friends. oWo. we like girls too >_< s-sorry
/qmdUqp3
52 posts and 14 images submitted.
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is that a boy or grill in pic. Deciding if I should save or not
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>>39265663
wtf this is my gf. don't save it.
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>>39265663
thats a boy and its my girlfriend stfu

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>buy this for $1.80 usd
>bake in oven at home
>tastes better than most pizza that cost anywhere from 10-15$.
44 posts and 11 images submitted.
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At Kroger theyre 4 for $5. Best pizza ever
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>>39265619
Where do you live in the US for that statement to be true, because those words in that order was an attack on every Italian alive. I'm guessing Midwest of shitty flyover?
>>
>>39265619
Has 4chan really grown to such an extent that it's considered worth it to market normie products here?

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So, how many tickets do you have for the $700M powerball lottery tonight?
148 posts and 27 images submitted.
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its a jew scam. powerball made the odds twice as bad so drive up jackpots and the free media coverage (commercials) that comes with them. don't fall for it.
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>>39265503
You didn't buy any tickets? Do you not want to be rich?
>>
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>>39265371
One
It's all I need desu family man

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Came home and somebody musta broke in the back window,
And stole two loaded machine guns and both of my trenchcoats,
Sick, sick dreams of picnic scenes,
Two kids, sixteen, with M-16's and ten clips each,
And them shits reach through six kids each,
And Slim gets blamed in Bill Clint's speech to fix these streets?!
Fuck that! Pbbt, you faggots can vanish to volcanic ash,
And reappear in hell with a can of gas AND a match!
23 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>39265313
is this "remember him"?
>>
moms spaghetti he's nervous...moms spaghetti

dr dre's confetti
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>>39265313
I see my target with my car and park it and approach a tender
Young girl by the name of Brenda and I pretend to befriend her
Sit down beside her like a spider hi there girl you mighta
Heard of me before see whore your the kinda girl that I'd
Assault and rape and figure why not try to make your pussy wida
Fuck you with an umbrella then open it up while the shit's inside ya
I'm the kind of guy that's mild but I mite flip and get a little bit wilder
Impregnate a lesbian girl now lets see ya have triplets and I'll
Disintegrate them babies as soon as that out her with formalda-
Hide and cyanide girl you can try and hide you can try to scream louder
No need for no gun powder that only takes all the fun outta

the true robot rapper

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Someone did this on /b/ and /int/ so I thought I'd do it here.
Control my pc, one command per reply and I'll do the first reply after each of my comments

I'm not doing anything that obviously harms my pc so don't get any ideas.
31 posts and 7 images submitted.
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>>39265129
Change your cringy wallpaper to some anime picture off of /w/
>>
Open whatever internet browser you normally use and load history
>>
uninstall gaypay 2

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>thought college was going to be different
>first week and Im more alone than ever
how could i have been so stupid
40 posts and 10 images submitted.
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What State? If it's in NY, let's go get some drinks.
>>
>>39265127
Really appreciate the offer, but Im in florida
>>
dunno bud
i managed a full year of uni without making a single friend and spending all my time alone in the library studying.
never went back because it was an anxiety filled mess of a time, and I hated having to wake up to go to uni just to suffer in loneliness.

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Who else here /can'tswim/
24 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>39264859
Used to teach it to very young children and was also the skinniest lifeguard on the planet. You can learn to swim in one day.
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>>39264871
Not if you have no limbs
>>
>>39264859
i dont know how to swim either OP

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I lose a couple of IQ points reading this.
26 posts and 8 images submitted.
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>>39264845
It's just women being women. The funny part is she doesn't even see her actions or behavior as deplorable. She's probably soaking up the validation of getting a "bad boy" too much to recognize the child's well being what so ever.
>>
>>39264845
Is this shit real? Coalburners deserve only death. Poor kid.
>>
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>negroes and roasties are still considered "human"

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>neighbors throwing trash in my yard again
23 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>39264720
Take a shit in their front yard every night for now on.
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>>39264736
I don't even know which one is doing it, after staring outside all day.
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>>39264720
Kick their door in while you're naked except for your boots, and scream at them to stop.
>>39264736
This too.

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Damn, the new Batman cartoon is like THIS?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8-8XDw5RfU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxxfS4OREM0
35 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>39264605
It's nu-Batman

But anyway, the best Batman cartoon was ahnds down Batman Beyond. That cyberpunk world was shway (hint hint)
>>
Kids are just going to grow sluttier when shit like this is on tv and they have unlimited internet access
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>>39264853
>unlimited internet access
>settling for mediocre butt like this
this is more likely to get a rise out of canonfags

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Why do Americans have shitty hyper-consumerist living standards?
34 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>39264584
Because I dont wanna shit in the street
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>>39264584
Not sure I understand what you mean by that but America is a capitalist nation. The health of people's quality of life depends on the strength of the economy. So human beings were repurposed from being whatever the hell the gods originally intended into being livestock that work the capitalist system.
>>
>>39264584
What's so wrong about that house? Doesn't seem over the top .

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Can I just burn weed and inhale the smoke what's the difference between smoking a blunt and that? My blunt isn't burning right I can't get high this is so complicated
38 posts and 7 images submitted.
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Blunt? Burn and inhale? What the fuck, use a pipe you fucking mong.
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>>39264570
Get a pipe, using paper is pretty stupid.
You can buy a 30 dollar pipe on amazon.
Have fun.
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>>39264570
>this is so complicated
Are you 5 years old?
Get a pipe, they are really cheap but remember to clean it once a week.

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Post a pic of the last cock you've sucked, /r9k/!

>pic related, a 56 year old daddy cock
>sucked on it until he came in my mouth

Share your experiences, robots!
28 posts and 9 images submitted.
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You suck old people off you're a fucking loser
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>>39264403
You post on r9k you're a fucking loser
>>
>>39264403
>>39264428

I'm dead, if you don't suck on BBC then you may as well not be gay

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>become neet
>lose all friends
>start making friends on r9k
>meet nice fembot who seems to like me
>help her through hard times because I had nothing else to do
>suddenly hit with depression
>she gets mad at me and fucks off

Never rely on people from this website, ESPECIALLY the women.

Yes YOU. I know you're reading this. Go and gather some more orbiters you disgusting piece of trash.
53 posts and 6 images submitted.
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tell the whole story fuccboi, in detail
it's clear as day your woman hating ass is making shit up to make yourself look innocent
This happen for a reason
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>>39264369
she would have left you anyway anon.
>>
>>39264369
You should expose her by username on discord or whatever so maybe some of her orbiters will clue in


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