I think I've ascended to normiehood. Yesterday my roomate who is doing a master brought a bunch of his friends and made a party. Today I woke up naked and I have solid memories of having put two fingers inside the asshole of a 33 year old classmate of my roomate. We even cuddled and kissed before sleeping. Im 21, shes 12 years older than me, I honestly dont know how the fuck did this even happen. Im kinda sad she left without even saying goodbye though ): I guess she is embarrased. Anyway, we didnt have sex, so am I still allowed here?
>go to Wal-Mart to get stuff for tacos
>gf drags me to cat and dog section
>across it is around 20 plungers
>grab them and push them hard against the floor
>gf laughs and calls me an idiot
>walk passed section
>see skinny Manlet trying desperately to take just one plunger off
>tfw you're unemployed
>tfw Wal-Mart is only place hiring
Karma is a bitch
>sitting on bus in high school
>friend asks me if I want to dip
>say "sure why not?"
>put it in my mouth
>bus hits bump
>spit it out of window
>flies back and hits my other friend behind me in the face
fellow wagies and neets, its weekend and you have nothing to do, because you dont have any friends! now discord is a piece of shit as we all know, but at least you wont have to talk to yourself.
I enjoy text based communication only desu
That's why i would never raid in WoW i hated "hopping on vent"
fuck that shit. I dont even like hearing other peoples voices, it takes me out of the game and back to reality.
n-nice quads anon. we don't have any voice channels in our discord because many of us feel the same. we also have a no selfies rule
Is this what women are really into?
Have any of you robots actually successfully beaten up a Chad before?.
>ywn be free from government oppression
>ywn get a gun to protect yourself from criminals and the government
>ywn hang out with friendly strangers on the weekends
>ywn have huge circle of friends because americans are so friendly
>ywn have cute american gf to hang out with at a mall and make with
>ywn party hard and make love with a college slut
>ywn feel the camaraderie of a fraternity
>ywn breathe free and dream big
>ywn live the American Dream
>tfw you will never live in the freest country in the world
>tfw you aren't american
Why did I have to be born a loner in a shitty third world country?
>ywn form a suicide pact with a qt as a teenager and then execute that pact when her dad threatens to take her away from you and get her to file false rape charges against you
Death and life are both terrifying
I'm so scared, I wish I had someone who would tell me everything is alright
I was feeling snacky, and bored
what are you robots eating?
not snacking but im eating some salmon
so tell me anon, why are you the most pathetic user on /r9k/?
I'm the anon from rejection stories thread that has made 14+ attempts and has failed 13, with one only lasting 2 weeks, only for her to leave me for my friend.
each failure brings me closer to unrecoverable depression
>see something funny on /r9k/
>laugh like a stupid faggot
>get sad because I laugh like a stupid faggot
I wish my laugh sounds cute and nice instead of like I'm gargling liquid helium in the back of my throat or something
>post laugh pls
well if I try to laugh obviously it's not gonna be authentic
make me laugh and I'll record it!
What's the matter, /r9k/? Too mediocre for the Current Year?
I'm thinking of doing a diet where I eat 1000 calories very other day, and fast the days in between? Would this work?
Has anyone here gotten laid off tinder or any other social media? Any stories to share?
I've gotten laid off Tinder a lot while traveling, especially in Latin America and South Asia.
Never used it much here at home, since I'd rather have a relationship with a girl nearby than a casual fling.
Tried to go on a couple dates after my break-up, but they didn't go too well. I'm a decent-looking guy but I think girls have unrealistically high standards. Both the women I met up with were markedly bigger than their profile pictures suggested. Way harder to get matches with girls who aren't fattus, because all average-looking women have to do to get Chad's dick for a night is exist and swipe right.
>I'm a decent-looking guy but I think girls have unrealistically high standards
fucking this. I'm pretty good looking but because I'm not a 6'3 model millionaire ceo chad I can't get anything above 6.5/10 on tinder
these girls who are nothing special, just somewhat attractive are too stuckup to even reply. they literally think they are entitled 10/10 prince charming boyfriends. I don't think we can begin to fathom the vanity and narcissism that goes on inside their heads.
Has /r9k/ ever been to a porn convention? I've gone to the last two Exxxoticas near Chicago (it's going on this weekend) and had a fun time, even mingling with semi-normies who happen to like porn. You'd be surprised how friendly porn stars and kinksters and other porn fans are, and if you're in Chicago you might want to stop by this weekend, but with an attitude of having fun and not of feeling sorry for yourself and thinking that porn stars are whores anyways.
I took photos but don't want to share them because must of them are of convention goers doing things like getting flogged at the S&M exhibit and they probably didn't expect I'd post them. It was pretty hot actually, this cute chick was talking to me about her friend who was getting flogged while we were both watching, then she went up and this chick I was just talking to all of a sudden had her skirt and leggings down with a g-string underneath showing (most of) her butt to everyone getting whipped lol. If you just look for Exxxotica on Google Images you'll see a lot of other peoples'
The porn stars sign autographs and stuff but they also have talks. Ron Jeremy was there last year and said when he was on a reality show where he had to live on a farm with a bunch of people, that the women were talking about how they got wet looking at the horse cock lol.
>check up on boyfriend
>he's wearing headphones while using his computer
>take off his headphones and put them on to hear what he's listening to
>he's listening to Swans' album "Soundtracks For The Blind"
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand interest lost.
What optimists think happens:
>Get steady sleep
>Become more productive
>go outside more
>start study group
>get strait A's
>everyone noticing change in me
>take care of pet by myself
>dad says "I love you" 50 times per day on average
>lift others up and cure depression
>charismatic and loved by all
> accepted into oxford, harvard, and GCU in same day
>manage to go to all three with AAAAAAAAAAA++++++++++s
>become U.S. president
>become world leader
>know all of space and time
>become unlinked from human needs
>is now god
What actually happens:
>go back to fapping after a week