Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6637. page

>>36327303
Oh I forgot to post my own thing....

Long story short is that I had just barely turned 18 and was bar-hopping with a friend every weekend. He brought me to this one bar where his group of friends hung out. There was a cute goth girl there that I would see in the hallways at school, and I was also sort of goth-ish. She was also dating one of the guys there.

Since we both had that much in common and both spoke the same language we spent a lot of time together at the bar. Nothing happened the first time.

Next weekend was the same thing, me and her doing shots at the bar and smoking cigarettes. Her boyfriend would pop in every so often to kiss and and smack her ass or something and be like "hey buddy don't fuck my girlfriend haha just kidding but no seriously".

Then a few hours later, from what I can recall because I was so drunk, we went back to her place and I fucked his girlfriend. No condor, nutting in her two or three times.

The morning after she was like "oh hey it's you" and asked if I wanted to date, I said yes and she broke up with the other guy and we dated for like 6 months.

I did tell her I was virgin after we did it (don't do that) but she laughed and said I was cute.

Anyways, I consider myself a cyborg. I can sometimes be around normies for like 20 minutes at a time if I really have to, like those polynesian deep-sea diving tribal people, but then I always have to go back to my anime and vidya and edgy music.


My sex life since then has been exponentially bad and more sparse.

Was always a loner basement dweller that almost never interacted with anyone except by PC, because typing is far easier than talking, to me. Anyway, I'd been working for awhile, nightshift janitor stuff, perfect robot job honestly, I miss it. Was about a decade ago, back when myspace was still a thing, so I decided to try something, an experiment.

To see if I could get some chick to fuck me without ever showing her a picture, just with words alone. Talked to this girl for about six months, just bullshitting every day for hours, slowly prying info out of her, eventually learning she lived about an hour or so away from me. She was pretty cute too, bit of a butterface, but had a nice slim body and cute b-cups and some delicious abdomens. At first she didn't seem interested, but, then I mentioned I was a virgin, so I wouldn't be any good anyway, and she fucking jumped at the chance to come and put another cock-notch on her belt or whatever.

We watched movies for a few hours, eventually moving on to kissing and touching. And then our pants came off. I'd been hard as a rock from the kissing, but as soon as it came time to do the deed, I lost my erection multiple times. It was so stressful, so embarassing, so goddamn frightening I thought my heart was going to seize up. The physical, naked contact was the worst. I've always hated touching and being touched, but being inside her was the worst manner of physical contact I've ever had. It was awful, so, so fucking awful. I lasted maybe fifteen minutes, going between semi-hard and full erection until I pulled out and blew a nut on her stomach. She got up, got dressed, and left without more than a few words. I'm not sure what she was expecting, but she probably didn't regret it anywhere near as much as I did.

I'd rather be alone than do ANY of that shit again. 2D is the way for me, and I regret wasting my virginity on some trashy girl. Never heard from her again after that, she removed me from msn, myspace, everything.

>>36327530
>nightshift janitor stuff, perfect robot job honestly, I miss it.

This is all besides the point of my own thread, but fuck yes I am looking to get a janitorial job. I sort of had one for a while, I regret ever quitting it. it's a great job for most robots.

I just want to clean shit, it's so simple and satisfying, not deal with people who can't read the fine print on anything or sometimes the big bold giant letters right in front of their face.

You sound like a cool dude im sorry about how all that happened

the cheering on and the crying is somethibg that would really hurt anyone. i cry sometimes out of frustration on accodent when i get mad and i cant even inagibe how awkward i would feel in front of people. im sorry bud, but youre not a pussy. i feel like a pussy all the time too, im passive and even if people were talking shit to me or beibg a jerk i wouldnt do anything but get bitter about it and brood over it and think about it all the time. i have got mad before in highschool and just forgot everythibg i was doing and had like 15 seconds of pure rage and shoved a kid into some chairs and desks. im also around heavy trucks alot and feel like a pussy because i dont have any idea how to drive them even though i change their brakes and oil and stuff like that. in highschool i never liked getting yelled at by teacher and such and one time when we had to do some stupid thing where we made catapults out of popsicle sticks mine was the only one that wpuldnt work right and i felt like crying afterwards because i thought id get an f and even though that was years ago i still feel like a pussy. youre not alone op

>>36327560
Thank you for complementing me. Sometimes I get really frustrated over things, and sometimes other people make me frustrated, so I want to cause physical violence against them also, yet I never do unless It's for self defense. Also I was never good at working with my hands, and I hate myself because of that. Thanks for posting, man.

>>36327653
thanks for replying i wish you the best

id like to see your art but i understand if you dont want to share it on here, but if you want to id love to see it. i always really liked the idea of making music and stuff and ive made some but it dissapoints me how most of them are bad even though i try so i havent made any lately

>>36327269

Every day there's a new server for robots. There must be at least a hundred servers for this purpose by now

no normies please only neets and bots

>>36327306
ours was just born and is circle jerk free

>>36327175

>He can't hide his virginity and make up elaborate stories about fake conquests.

I feel yo senpai. I had to fake it until I was 25

You are a virgin. If you hate being a virgin, stop being a virgin.

>>36327221
I had to fake it until I was 25 too haha

>>36327156
I am exceptional in a lot of ways.

>>36327156
How does one take such a survey?

I believe I have what it takes.

WTF is the NPC theory?

>>36327142

It sounds like solipsism. But maybe I'm off base.

>>36327142
>>36327219
I think he means metaphysical solipsism ("I am the only real consciousness and everyone around me is like an NPC from a video game")

>>36326944

Retards will actually do this.

Post a pic of you doing it, fag.

>>36326944
I'm fine anon, one of my friend had testicular torsion and it's not something I'd like to experience.

>>36326944
No, but I will mix bleach and ammonia, put a penny in it then blow on it with a straw to agitate it.
Or the spoon thing.

>>36326933
That's a good start. Here's what I do:
For current life:
Keep a diary/journal/log of some sort. It can be anything, I once used a pad of art paper. Just write the date every time you make an entry. Spill your guts about the person you have crush on, that funny scene in the tv show you just watched, your loneliness, whatever made you feel something. Don't make keeping this a job, some days you'll make multiple entries, sometimes you'll go days without writing anything. But, this is important, look over the past entires every once in awhile. You'll start to see patterns which could be quite useful to you in understanding yourself.

For the past:
Try to assign your memories to a year. Use school, digital pics, or other events (this was the year Uncle Terry died) to help you. This will give an idea about your life, it doesn't matter if your 17 or 117, just be persistent.

>>36327528
Cool that'll work for memories.
Any idea about random thoughts though? Like let's say I'm thinking about a subject, then I finish that and want to write about it again a month later. However I already have that idea in the notebook and a bunch of pages between that and the next time I thought of it/expanded on it. I guess I'm looking for a physical method.
I use a normal notebook and evernote to track calories right now

>>36326933
Anyone remember the music video for this image

Because I look even shittier as a girl

File: IMG_2002.jpg (21KB, 444x218px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 444x218px

Wew laddie

Original content

>>36326929
Because while that app is fancy that requires tons of surgeries, effort, HRT, and usually you won't become what that app makes you.

Crawl up the tube into his asshole and punch my way out.

Crawl up the pipe and force the frog to move.

>>36326911
eat or drown

>>36326902
if you can afford all that then you probably don't belong here

>>36326902
Have tried many. None that I wanted to keep using.

>>36326902
please describe ketamine OP?

also nice pic XD

>>36326889
Yeah -- just long-term depression. Less depressed now but still pretty anhedonic.

>>36327370
I've heard depression often settles into apathy and Anhedonia. I've never experienced major depression, so I can't day which is worse.

But screw it, I'll write about it. My Anhedonia started a little over two years ago when I lost the ability to enjoy literature. It was the central part of my identity growing up, and I had a crisis over it for at least a year, until I realized other things were going away too. It seems obvious in hindsight, but I didn't notice at the time. Why? Because I had music. I used to browse /mu/ all day, and prided myself on my music knowledge and taste. While the rest of my life was drying up around me, it didn't matter when I could feel those old feelings through the power of music. So in a sense, it was a comfy life.

Last December was the last time I really loved an album. I had several amazing experiences that Fall/Winter, and after that, felt totally disconnected from music. After some dwelling on it, I figured out that every pleasure in my life had disappeared: Watching YouTube videos, podcasts, TV shows, eating chicken sandwiches, smelling that comfy smell of BBQ that hangs in the air sometimes. Even more obscure things like the joys of conversation, the comfy sound of falling rain, the comfy feeling of sadness, and sexual excitement. I've never had a gf before, but I hit it off really well with the perfect girl a few week ago, and felt nothing.

Right now, I'm doing the usual things: exercise, better diet, meditation. It has helped still my mind and made getting through the day easier, but I feel the base problem is still strong as ever. I'm stuck in the midst of Anhedonia, and I don't know what to do.

>>36326889
I do. hobbies seem like a lie to me. How could anyone enjoy exerting themselves in some way? It's been so long since it happened to me that I just can't remember what it was like. I feel so different from all the people here talking about playing video games or listening to music or going for walks. None of that gives me pleasure so I don't do it and I will never be able to fit in with normies as a result.

Being autistic

orig

It went wrong way before that.

>>36326874
Nothing, because I'm a chad.

Because I'm a worthless person.

because id rather be alone than be with an ugly girl

It fucking hurts.
I don't want to be like this.
There's something wrong with me.
I can't see it, but everybody else obviously can.

>>36326699
Stick them up your ass and cum on them

The yellow semi translucent ones are the only ones that freak me out. Woodlouse hunters are gross too, but I only find them outside.

>hate jews
>jew names in every tv show and movie