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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5529. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

Let's go r9k, do your best to turn me gay, give me your best shot.
13 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>implying you aren't already
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>>36932112
Give me your discord anon~
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>>36932112
>Masculine big bear who always tops and stinks like grease and ass knows how to fix your car but is a convict may kill you.
>Flamboyant frilly homo who sometimes tops and bottoms likely has HIV/AIDs and won't tell you until afterwards and cheats
>Female Mimic (Trap) always bottoms smells like strawberries will probably an hero and take you along
basically your three main types of a faggot.

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>tfw thinking of spending $15k on a hair transplant

90% of the time it works, just fucking expensive
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36932037
I'm gonna go the pill method I don't mind a shit hairline just don't want to be full bald I'm also taking care of myself more

I just have a fucking phobia like fuck of needles and surgery and shit. Maybe if I could take enough Xanax to black out and not remember I could do it but it freaks me out.
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>>36932037
90%? You have better chances of surviving Russian Roulette than that
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>>36932037
Why are you so afraid of being bald? Just shave it all off when it starts to go.

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Alrighty Robots, You get one wish. It comes true with no tricks. No genie shit.
175 posts and 29 images submitted.
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Myself happy.
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Super intelligence
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$40 million in gold nuggets.

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>tfw I fall in love with any girl who follows me on instagram
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
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whats your instagram, op
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>>36931996
Why do you have an instagram?
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>He has an instagram

leave

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anyone else stuck in a hell of self analysis???

>every night try to sleep
>brain goes into overdrive of self analysis
>become convinced i am a sociopathic narcissist
>pretty sure my entire personality is fake
>can no longer discern authentic behaviours from inauthentic
>tfw living a lie in solitude
>tfw i lie to myself most of all
>tfw cannot trust myself
11 posts and 5 images submitted.
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Soon you will stop thinking. I have trouble finishing any thought. I got too tired
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>>36931972
Yes but only when I smoke weed I start to think like this.
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>>36932032
in the beginning i only thought like this on drugs but now i'm clean and the thoughts have followed me home. they make sense to me, they cannot be dismissed as drug thoughts

have i opened pandora's box? is this the end?

The only two women who have ever dated me have both been mentally unstable. The first was bipolar and the second was a radical sjw. How do I get a normally adjusted gf?
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36931949
Clearly not the right board to ask this question.
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>>36931949
the only two women who have ever loved me are my mom and grandma

kill yourself
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>>36931949
>radical sjw

Tell more. I'm gonna try and discern which one of you was less mentally stable

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This morning I was running with my dog and everything was going great. Along the sidewalk there were some gardeners and they had a hose across the sidewalk from their truck to the planter they were in. The way the hose was laid across the bushes made it a little lower than waist high. They saw me and my dog coming and they were gonna walk back to clear the path but I called out "no leave it!"

As I got closer, I told penny "get back" which is her command to drop back a stride or two behind me. Then I hurdled it and then penny hurdled it too. When penny cleared it, one of the gardener guys said "WOW COOL!!!" and some clapped and some gave me thumbs up. Then like 20 yards after there were some cars stopped at the light and they gave me a thumbs up and one yelled "COOL DOG!!"

I felt really good about myself and happy in that moment where a bunch of strangers were clapping and giving me thumbs up, like a character in a cheesy 80s movie and even though it was a small thing I wish I could live in that moment again

pic related its my dog
14 posts and 1 images submitted.
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feel sad none of you care about this happy event for me
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>>36931985
did you do a flip, fag
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>>36932024
pls dont be mean and bully me

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Anyone here wanna talk about the pleasure of anal masturbation?

Link to pic related :
xtube.com/video-watch/John-Holmes-Anal-Dildo-Fuck-15312221
20 posts and 3 images submitted.
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It feels really good. But I find the time to prepare is hard which turns me off of it.

For me I can't eat or have a very light meal that day. I have to douche my ass. And then my ass needs 20-30 minutes to warm up. Its a hassle, and sometimes my roomates will come home early from work on th enight I planned to do all this and I'll have to stop completely because I get very loud when I masturbate like this.

In a perfect scenario though holy fuck does It feel good. I haven't been able to have an anal orgasm yet but still it feels great. And cuming is so intense when a huge dildo is in your ass.

I think I get to excited and go to far though and instead of just stimulating my prostate I thnk i hit my bladder cuz I often just start leaking what I think is pee which gets messy and I dont like that.

Any advice?
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>>36932506
>I get very loud
>Pee
Muffle yourself with a cotton cloth or other kind of filling gag. Do it in the shower. Close and lock doors.
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>>36931886
>tfw too much of a slob to properly prepare for anal faps
it's a bygone era OP
I'd rather not be that ugly crossdresser

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the /b/tards don't want their milk. Come drink up robots. 2D/3D
48 posts and 40 images submitted.
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blah blah blah oregano.
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be original they say as a trap thread hits image limit over and over again.
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original oregano is original

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how do we get women the fuck this board?

the whole reason normalfags are even here is because of them, this chain reaction of cancerous shit is all their doing.

i would honestly settle for a containment board for these fucking roasties and get things back to how they used to be
145 posts and 16 images submitted.
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>>36931794
What do you expect when you make a board for feminized men. The females will flock to it for attention.
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Normalfags are here because they crave attention and belittling others makes them feel better about themselves
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Gore. Intense misogny. Derail their fembot or femanon threads. Post roll pics. Ask for tits wherever they go.

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The last bastion of robotkind is still resisting the normie hordes, come join robots

Rules

No women

No homos or traps

No non virgins

https://discord[dot goes here]gg/XWbvKgF
13 posts and 10 images submitted.
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Soon my friends..
Soon I will bless the server with my powers
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>>36931832

This is a very nice pepe

Orogonal
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todos os garotos estouradores de bolha vao levar surra dos fortoes do bar ate desmaiar

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Is learning mathematics the key to ascending above the normie masses?
31 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>36931694
My stepdad is an engineer that works for lockheed martin, brilliant man, but he holds some of the most shallow beliefs you can imagine.

If you want to truly become politically enlightened read some old philosophy, Alexis du Tocqueville's Democracy in America, Machiavelli, Montesquieu, and James Madison.
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If you can plan, read directions, and solve problems you're basically ascended master race
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>>36931694
>buys a new hairline

math won't help you necessarily but getting rich will

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Is manual the robot way of driving?
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36931671
Robots don't drive GTFO normie
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>>36931671
If I had the learning capacity to drive a stick shift I would learn how to find happiness
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>>36931671
No manual is Chad as fuck

Anyone that drives manual for any reason besides "I couldn't afford anything else so I got this 30 year old beater" is a fucking normalfag and should slam their car into oncoming traffic.

>Muh gas mileage
>Muh it's fun
>Muh aesthetic

Fuck you

>have cystic acne and oily skin
>take 12 pills of pic related everyday for past week (300,000 iu Vitamin A)
>skin is no longer oily, cysts are shrinking, skin looks much younger

Fuck (((dermatologists))). Just take a shit ton of vitamin A and your acne will be gone in a couple weeks. Acne is simply a symptom of Vitamin A deficiency.
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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shit bait, don't poison yourselves robots
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>>36931659
>Vitamin A is included in most multivitamins, and the U.S. recommended dietary allowance (RDA) for adults is as follows: 900 micrograms daily (3,000 IU) for men
>300,000 weekly intake
>nearly 42,000 iu a day
What about long-term problems? You're taking more than triple the amount.
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>>36931730
Fuck off skincare industry shill

>Retinol was highly efficacious in doses of 300,000 units for women and 400,000 to 500,000 units for men, toxicity was slight and limited mainly to skin (xerosis) and mucous membranes (cheilitis). The danger of hypervitaminosis A in this dosage range has been exaggerated.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/6453848

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http://spotthedrowningchild.com/

Fun new game for /r9k/
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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bumperoonitoonie
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>Watch video. See """who""" is drowning.
Why am I not at all surprised?
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>>36931625
please tell me if this is a screamer, I hate those


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