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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4892. page

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What's for dinner robots 06/04
255 posts and 32 images submitted.
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do the employees every give you that look of disgust when you walk in or call? there like this gross slob is back eating this garbage every day
>>
>making 80k a year
>saving every penny so I can buy a (((sports car)))
>food budget is $200 a month

your post make me die a little inside. Looks good food anon.
>>
stop eating so much fast food. Eat more fresh food to cleanse your body of all the chemicals that make you addicted to junk food/red meat. Drink only water!

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Come in share feels. Order drinks. I just made a girl cry, how was your day robots ?

Jukebox:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoRB9BKwRvs
299 posts and 87 images submitted.
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>>37498045
go fuck yourself, you piece of shit

I'm drinking Bayou spiced

I hate you and I want to recreate the Roman Empire
>>
how did you make a girl cry?
>>
WHERE IS SLAV BARTENDER?!!?!?!??!?!+

Fembots, have you ever had a crush on a boy when you were younger? Tell me about your cute childhood crushes.

No whores allowed, this thread is for cute innocent childhood love.
227 posts and 23 images submitted.
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>>37497930
Erm he was super duper cute. We were best friends. I wrote about him in my diary and sometimes it was lewd like how I wanted to kiss him on the lips. >_<
>>
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I had one in particular that kind of messed me up.

>be 14, going on 15
>older brother has two "armed escorts" take me everywhere I go outside, from school to anywhere I want to go (it was very dangerous in my area around 2005 and 06)
>Let's call them G and K. G is older and kind of funny. K is young, maybe early 20s and pretty cute
>Spend a lot of time with both of them in the car, especially K. Start texting him a lot and talking to him, even while at home
>Oftentimes it's just K who takes me to school. I had a playlist on my Ipod which we sung along too sometimes. It was cute cause it had some "girly" songs on it too that he knew the lyrics to
>start hardcore crushing on him. Even tell K that I like him. He just laughs it off. can tell he only sees me platonically (or is afraid) but still crush on him nontheless
>continue crushing on him hard for several months. write about him descriptively in my diary
>go to the beach with older brother and other family members, K and G are there. We all have fun
>on the way back home, our van is pulled over by Carabinieri (military/police in my country) who forcefully remove all of us from the car.
>older brother and K are arrested and I'm detained until my mom comes and picks me up
>desperately try to find out what will happen with K
>later learn that K was accused of several murders ordered by my older brother, including a very prolific kidnapping, torture, and later murder of a young girl in my counter that my brother ordered. it was all over the news for months before they found the culprit
>throw up at home
>the first and only boy I fell in love with is currently serving 9 consecutive life sentences
>no other boy even looks my way throughout my life due to fear of my family

I had one boyfriend since, but it didn't work out after only 2 weeks (still a virgin) and even though it's been years, I still think about K a lot.

Really messed me up desu
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>>37497930
n-never had a crush on 3d
i've had a crush on ash ketchum
*nervous laugh*

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new zeemap thread

https://www.zeemaps.com/map?group=2560398#
449 posts and 107 images submitted.
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>>37491685
ty for keeping this alive
>>
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Oh fuckfuckfuck there's someone else in my town

I can't do this robros
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daily reminder that you are not allowed to complain about how few anons there are in your surroundings if you are from
>usa
>england

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>that kid who would always fantasize about playing his favorite song on stage in front of the entire school resulting in wooing the girl he liked and making everyone think he was a pretty cool guy
258 posts and 35 images submitted.
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>>37490062

>that kid who dressed like a normie but was really a loner robot

yes that was me
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>that kid who actually tried to be nice to people
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>>37490062
I know this feel, unfortunately. Original Salami famalam>>37490062

>get invited to party
>have been working very hard at improving myself, see this as a good opportunity to test myself
>actually hold conversations with people, don't enjoy myself but make it seem like I do
>near the end of the night, one of my friends girlfriends says "You're a virgin, aren't you Anon?"
>I feel my heart skip a beat but I play it cool and say "Who told you that?"
>Everyone starts laughing
>One of my friends says "No way dude, you didn't even pull in high school?"
>I feel my facade crashing down and I return to my old self and just walk away and drive myself home

HOW THE FUCK DID SHE KNOW

I purposefully tried to make myself a new man but she still fucking knew
503 posts and 52 images submitted.
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>>37482803
>compulsively needs to pass anyone walking slightly slower than him

People who walk slow should get the fuck out of the way. I'm sorry I don't want to be late for your sorry ass.
>>
>>37482803
you probably looked like you were trying too hard
>>
>>37482803
Respond with
>Nah busy fucking your mom on the regs but we wanna keep it a secret, oops secrets out, go fuck yourself cunt

Or just do the general argument winner thing and take offense and make her feel embarrassed
>Da fuq, are you this rude to everyone?

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>tfw being a young man today is suffering

One thing I've learned from reading a bunch of mythology, social history, etc. is that young men are arguably the most wayward group of people in society, and hence need the greatest amount of guidance in order to grow into the men they're supposed to be.

But... we don't have that. There are no more "rites of passage", or if there are, they're stupid things like "get wasted for a whole week" which does nothing to prove our inner character. Young men need something to direct all their energy towards, they need something to believe in, but in this digital culture the best we have is our own shallow pleasure.

What the heck is up with that? We don't care about that shit. Playing vidya or watching movies or taking photos in front of some landmark gets tiring after about a week. Young men, being full of youthful energy and passion, are more or less the powerhouse of society, yet with no way to direct that energy we end up with stupid things like bronies or permavirgin aspies.

Now, I'm not saying anyone is necessarily to blame for this. Unlike some robots, I don't necessarily think it's feminism or jews or whatever that caused this. I think it's the unfortunate result of a society that has had too much wealth and thus has forgotten what it means to truly be alive and what truly inspires people. I'm just frustrated as fuck and need a place to vent. Fembots, if you're reading this, please be in l o n d o n.
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
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There is a term for it

Paradise syndrome

When someone has everything, everything is boring.

> Inb4 I don't have a qt waifu
Your brain thinks you do since you keep fapping to porn or camgurls because you think 3d women are too far gone.
>>
i think we need another world war, to build character and thin the herds a bit.

and besides, when there's too many men, women are spoiled for choice
>>
Rites of passage don't really solve anything. We still have conscription here. I too spent 6 months in the military and yet I'm here still.

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I'm too spineless to commit suicide. I want to go to sleep and never wake up again. How can this be done painlessly?
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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If you can get ahold of a sheet of acid, take the whole sheet
Bro from highschool did this
They found him tho and ""saved"" him, he's basically a vegetable now but if you hide yourself away you'll do just fine
Enjoy the trip
>>
Go to a minority neighborhood. Shout related slur or wear a sing with a related slur.
Profit,
Death.
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>>37510847
I'll consider it. Hide in my attic or something and write a note saying I left town.

Hello. My name is anon. I am a virgin. I am 21 years old.
11 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Hello anon
We don't care if you're a virgin
Enjoy your stay

Polite sage
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>>37510796
Its ok anon you're a good person i know you too well, Youre just unmotivated, say hey to ur uncle for me thanks
>>
>>37510796
Welcome young apprentice.

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>Win the genetic lottery
>Still no gf

What am I doing wrong bros?
19 posts and 3 images submitted.
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a gaping anus looks better than you
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ur joking right lol
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>>37510784
You look like a downie version of wedge antilles.

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>I just masturbated to a character I created in Saints Row 3
HOLY SHIT I AM FUCKING PATHETIC SOMEONE JUST FUCKING KILL ME ALREADY HOLY SHIT I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE
27 posts and 8 images submitted.
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w-waow mister u sure r lewd~ ;3
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>>37510719
If you're pathetic, then so is pretty much every god. Lower forms of life are almost always created for sexual reasons.
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>>37510719
Which one, op?

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What even makes you get out of the bed in the morning, dicklets?
14 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>37510477
Who took time to make this is 10x more pathetic than anyone with a small penis
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>>37510477
I never understand these images. Are they just bait, or are they made by guys with a small penis humiliation fetish?
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>>37510503
>Who took time to make this

probably a supreme homosexual

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>be fat woman
>can get sex and relationships from decent looking men without much difficulty
>be fat man
>nearly impossible to get any sex or relationships, if you do it's with shit tier women

>be slim woman
>automatically above average, can get sex or relationships from almost any man
>be slim man
>called "skelly", difficult to get into relationships, has to work hard and get rejected to finally get into a relationship with a shit tier girl or at best decent woman

>be slim woman with decent breasts or ass or both
>top 5% of women, can get a relationship or sex from any man
>be fit man
>has it a little easier but still has to work at it and if he doesn't have a nice personality or is interested in things not considered normal he's still fucked

Where do we go from here?
23 posts and 4 images submitted.
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Do what we have always done, complain, shitpost and fill the hole with some sort of 'weird' porn
>>
Reposting the "diverse female preferences" greentext.

>"I like smart guys."/"I like Chad in a lab coat and glasses."
>"I like nerdy guys."/"I like Chad with vidya and and cartoon tee from Hot Topic."
>"I like athletic guys."/"I like Chad in a sweaty tee that shows off his muscles."
>"I like tiny/feminine guys."/"I like mini-Chad."
>"I like bad boys."/"I like Chad in a motocycle jacket with a cigarette dangling out of his lips."
>"I like mysterious guys."/"I like quiet/stoic Chad."
>"I like funny guys."/"I like Chad making me laugh."
>"I like nice guys."/"I am aware of Chad's positive qualities."
>"I like goth/emo/alternative guys."/"I like Chad in black."
>"I like sensitive guys."/"I like Chad expressing himself with a guitar."
>"I like surfer guys."/I like Chad with a six-pack and long hair."
>"I like skater guys."/"I like Chad in Vans and a hoodie."
>"I like cowboys/whatever."/"I like Chad in boots and denim jeans."
>>
Just try, if you give up after one or two tries of course not, you get what you give

>fembots only want Chad

Do you actually believe this retarded shit? I'd take the skinny nerd with glasses every time over some roided out meathead d-bag.

/rant
76 posts and 17 images submitted.
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*doubt* timestamp.
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>Do you actually believe this retarded shit? I'd take chad with glasses every time over some roided out meathead d-bag chad.
ftfy
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Is this bait? The guy in the pic is 99% likely a chad himself.

How do I be as cool as Ryan gosling
Is it possible
15 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>37510211
Be attractive
Be fit
Be silent
>>
1. Be ridiculously attractive
2. Be really good at something most people would consider cool
3. Act aloof and like you don't really care much about anything

No, it's not possible
>>
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Just remember even ryan gosling was a beta

I believe in you OP


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