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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5088. page

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I can name exactly 0 reasons not to move to mexico and find a catholic virgin named Lupita to marry

Goodbye faggots, my depression will be gone by this time next year
19 posts and 2 images submitted.
name your kid pedro
Sick send us your american credit card info
And then you get kidnapped by Los Zetas on the way back and stuffed into a barrel.

I fucking hate that people are religious.
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Hell of a thread here OP
I saw a minivan today with a shit ton of Jesus and anti abortion stickers on it, and those shitty family stickers on the back window.
It made me chuckle that somebody can be such a stereotype

Sounds like a shitty way to live life

Whats your favorite noodle brand? Mines is Lucky Me noodles. Its affordable, delicious, and comes in all flavors. Available at your local Asian grocery store
19 posts and 6 images submitted.
am flip but indo mie blows it out of the water
>indo mie

Have tried that, never liked it
If were talking import shit its pic related, if were talking american brands I like those maruchan taste of asia ones specifically the spicy miso one.

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I finally thought I had a chance, I really did. In the end I was just being used for attention, just as a suspected from the start. I guess I'll just go end myself now
18 posts and 7 images submitted.
>ex wanted me back but she's having someone else's baby
Would take her back in a heartbeat if she wasn't but I do think it's funny she's going to be a single mom just like her family said she would
Haha get rekt anon
You never had a chance. None us ever did. Always remember anon:
>Trying is the first step towards failure.

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>Noodles are bad for you
>Japanese, Koreans, and Chinese have the longest life spans

14 posts and 2 images submitted.
Is that designer
It's because they're smaller so their metabolisms are less active because they need less resources.

How bout some reading comprehension

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>Start talking to woman.
>She is 10/10, seems to have a personality.
>We talk for days, weeks, months constantly.
>Eventually she becomes boring.
>Responds with one word messages and emojis the majority of the time.

Why does this happen?
17 posts and 3 images submitted.
Are you gay? Its a legit question.
>Talking through internet
That's the porblem. This way roasties enjoy teasing bets cucks like you with ease and consequences.
>this poster bleeds from the crotch once per month

Lets discuss our dreams that occur while we sleep.

>Sometimes have dreams where I am constantly missing my classes and get lost inside the schools
>legitimately feels like a nightmare
>Think its reflective to the fact that I am 26 still in community college

>Have had dreams were I am being chased by police to go to prison for life
>Even worse nightmare

>Have dreams where I am falling and being thrown around into space and back to earth and feels like im on a giant roller coaster and crash into the ground

Those dreams are the worst. Share yours
15 posts and 4 images submitted.
here are some of my reaccuring dreams
>black and white, walking down a endless narrow flight of stairs; fall, instantly shaken awake everytime.
>walking up one day, everyone but me is gone, roam free around my city freely. quite comfy desu

Ive never had an IAmLegend type of dream like that. Interesting
more or less without monsters or any attempt to find survivors, it always tends to be very short.

Hey guys its my oneitis' birthday in 24 minutes. Should I say happy birthday immediately or wait til the morning? We rarely even talk, im such a loser. But last time we talked about a week ago she said she had no plans for her birthday. She doesn't have friends. But I have this strange beta fantasy that she would let me take her out for her birthday. It would be fun for me for sure, even if it was purely platonic, but I have a strong feeling I'm one of the last people she would want to spend her special day with, feelsbadman. Pic unrelated its lily maymac
16 posts and 1 images submitted.
op you're going way over your head. whenever a girl says she doesnt have friends she means she hasn't hit the 2k mark on facebook.

youre going to say happy birthday and shes gonna say thanks and thats it. sorry bro, how it goes.
Tell me about your oneitis anon. Then you'll have your answer.
Say it after 8:00 so it looks like you remembered as soon as you woke up but didn't wake up at a fucked up hour

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Hello robots,
I haven't slept for 20h. I will try stay conscious for 4 days. Do you have any experience in such a "project" robots?? If yes, how will i feel after such a long time?
20 posts and 1 images submitted.

#include "russian_sleep_experiment.txt"
Sounds pretty fun. I used to have a good time staying up for a long time in the summers of my youth. I should try it this weekened.
It ain't worth it. orignial

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>Anon! You can't keep us waiting forever! Which one of us will have the honor of taking your virginity? The suspense is only making us more horny!
18 posts and 6 images submitted.
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What the fuck is wrong with their faces holy shit
I don't consider myself to have high standards but I'd only describe about three of those girls as "cute".
Looks like a southern university sorority

Leaving this gem here https://youtu.be/0cZ8-RgtrP0
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
Yeah, I've seen this guy unfortunately. This whole cloud rap thing has gotten out of control. Yung Lean really let out pandora's box a few years ago.
do you think he likes BBC
he's a fetus. don't compare him to yung lean what the fuck? just because your life is a dicklet you think the entire world is adultsized? go away

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>4 unfiltered camels smoked a day
am i gonna end up in the hospital when im like 60 ifni keep doing this

i hope i get abmassive heart attack but not cancer
20 posts and 3 images submitted.
Pussy, I'll kill a pack of marlboros the day I buy em

Are you TRYING to live longer or something?
good choice anon
lucky strikes would also have been accepted
i WANT to fucking die but NOT at the hands of faggot hospital staff who put a fucking rodnin your peter to let ypu piss and then give you a 100k hospital bill

if i up it to a pack a day will i get a heart attack or something before cancer is possible?

How hard is it to implant thoughts in the head of autistic people
I have an autistic friend who gas amazing gf(bf) potential but he's not gay he act's feminine and act's gay while high but he's not gay I want to start implanting gay thoughts into his head but how he doesn't have very man friends and is very feminine how should I go about this?
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
You should not do that because it is psychological abuse and immoral.
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Pepsi>Dr Pepper
Tell him about this place.

"Gimme your sack lunch, faggot skellie, and no one needs to get hurt."
wat do?
14 posts and 4 images submitted.
*Look her straight in the eyes*
I don't think so, roastzilla
*Run at her and unsheathe my Uchigatana while lunging at her, slicing her clean in twain*
Looks like you're halfway to your weight loss goal now
*Sheathe my weapon and get back in line for lunch, the entire school applauding my efforts*
Toph side step. Complete with gestures. The landwhale will not be able to stop from inertia and bad knees
Walk away at a moderate pace.

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How can I stop being so childish? At 24, I still feel like a young kid and I find myself not able to relate with my more mature peers who seem to have a whole different mindset.
12 posts and 5 images submitted.
You are your interests and your interests are you.

I don't know what sort of things you're into, but just do the mature version of those and you'll change along with that. Fake it until you make it.

For me it was growing out of metal and punk and other "alternative" music genres.

I still occasionally sometimes listen to some of it, but I've moved onto other music genres.

Also don't fall for the trap of trying too hard to act old, which is ironically an immature thing to do. Like the kid in high school who walked around with a cane and a fedora and just called people immature when they laughed at him.
Quality post. Not even baiting

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