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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1769. page

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Would you rather

>be cursed to live in the sea as a half human half fish monster for all eternity

Or

>live as a half human half bird type monster in the mountains for all eternity
20 posts and 8 images submitted.
>>
>>38592538
I'd take the bird/mountain scenario. I don't like dark water.
>>
>live in the mountains eating mountain goats and whatever else I please
>swoop down into the valleys and terrorize the townsfolk
>steal riches from lands far and near and hide them deep in an inaccessible mountain cave
>when the urge hits, fly down to the valleys and snatch a pure maiden girl to ravage her on a mountaintop

Sounds pretty dope OP where do I sign up?
>>
>>38592538
Definitely half human half bird

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please post an original comment in this thread
15 posts and 2 images submitted.
>>
don't tell me what to do you fucking faggot
>>
Dans ce fil, ajoutez une poste originale, s'il vous plait
>>
>>38592506
I sure do love it here!

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Elliot Rodger's 26th Birthday edition
512 posts and 118 images submitted.
>>
Bored tbqh lads
>>
>tfw fell for a girl who made me tea
>>
elliot was a failure even in death.

stop hero worshipping a guy who couldn't even kill stacys properly.

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I started crying while jerking off today because it reminded me of how lonely I am. I can't even enjoy the simple things anymore, it hurts so bad
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
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even here I'm lonely
>>
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>>38592350
The same thing happened to me about 2 weeks ago. I felt so fucking guilty after I came because I was jerking off to a roastie that I'll never fuck, while she was probably getting pounded by Chad, there I was getting off to a picture of her.

Life is not fair.
>>
weird.
I'm the opposite.
I started laughing and smiling while jerking because I'm free from my last relationship.
you pathetic losers don't know how good it is being alone sometimes.

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why do girls always take selfies of them kissing their feet?
19 posts and 7 images submitted.
>>
>>38592292
To turn men on duh
>>
they exist as dick teases. women's existence is to tempt us, you heard about the bible right?

pretty much every religious text talks about women.
but that's the patriarchy and misogyny and all that (even though it's been said since the beginning of time XD)
>>
>>38592292
Do they? I've never noticed!
Send me pictures, I'll conduct my own study.

>tfw got black girlfriend

We haven't had sex yet. I met her on Counter Strike. My dad is flipping the fuck out, nigger this, nigger that. What do?
26 posts and 7 images submitted.
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>>38592275
He probably knows she's an autofag. Dads have a sense about these things
>>
>>38592275
just break up with her so you don't risk putting another shitskin into this world. Get a GF your own race.
>>
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>>38592275
Give him the silent treatment until he agrees to stop the racism and hate.

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>iq doesn't mean anything, jus be urself
34 posts and 3 images submitted.
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REEEE FUCK YOU EUGENE
>>
>>38592274
>tfw spent 2 hours today trying to figure out weather increasing 100 by 1000% is 1000 or 1100.
>Still not completely sure.

It's 1100, right?
>>
rather 8/10 with 100 IQ, than 4/10 with 140 IQ desu senpai

I'm not a kissless virgin like most of you fagots but not had sex in a while. Went on a dating website and the first girl who responded lived 5 mins away from me. She's not that attractive, is 25 (I'm 24) with 2 kids who are 9 and 2. So she had her first kid at 16. She's obviously trash, should I bang her for a laugh or what lads?

Pic related
25 posts and 6 images submitted.
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I guess. I've don't it, her kids were 10 and 5 and she had her first at 14. She took my virginity. I met her online in the 90s. I wouldn't trade the experience for anything.
>>
>>38592255
She looks fucking awful, I say don't go for it. She holds the image of a class A skank so I don't think you'd even laugh looking back at it, all you will be doing is fucking a gaped and most probably unhygienic sarlacc pit.
>>
>>38592255
How's her body? Does she has a nice ass and a nice pair of tits?

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>born male
>born white
>born 5'6

IT'S NOT FAIREEEEE
24 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>38592153
>born male
>born white
>born 6'4
>born in post-commie country
t-thanks god
>>
>>38592153
hope its just the being a manlet you are bitching about because being white is pretty dope try being a poo
>>
>male
>white
>5'4
>gay subby bottom

worked out in the end

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It's a good idea to fap before going to beach right?
8 posts and 3 images submitted.
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I fear sometimes that if I pleasure myself in the morning I'll reduce the enjoyment if I ever get a sexual from a girl that day.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a kv but I still fear that I'm going to miss out on enjoying myself if the unthinkable would happen that particular day.
>>
assert dominance and jerk off at the beach
>>
>>38592070
If I'm really horny I'll be erect again in a few minutes, anyway.

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How do you ensure that your gf doesn't cuck you? It seems that no matter where you go or what you do they always will
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38592061
You have girls on side.
>>
You pretty much can't. Hope for the best, and hope your instincts are right about her.
>>
cuck her first
that way you win

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Fapfictions featuring Jill Valentine from Resident Evil 3

Check them out please:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7794475/chapters/24597195/

https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/7794544

You can post a review without an account necessary so I'd appreciate it if you did
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
>>
King of the Hill:
http://archiveofourown.org/works/9908747 (Fourth and final chapter)

Recess:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/7884013

Scooby Doo:
http://www.archiveofourown.org/works/9908609

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9908669 (Same story but futa)

Weekenders:
http://archiveofourown.org/works/9499943

Hey Arnold:
>Rhonda needs money and has to work as a street walker to help her family out (Make sure to leave a review if you want to see a chapter three)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10190687

>Rhonda and her boytoy force Phoebe into a threesome

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7838134

Mortal Kombat:
http://archiveofourown.org/works/9800783 (Futa)
>>
BUMPA FLUMPA JUMPA STUMPA

DUMP
>>
BAMPA FLAMPA JAMPA STAMPA

DAMP

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So is it true that women don't have pride and their only goal in life is to find a man and have a family?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38591964

white people is so disgusting
>>
It is difficult for anyone to completely ignore their biological imperative.

Even more so when instead of obstacles in your path to completing it, you have dozens and dozens of partners willing and offering to help you achieve it.
>>
>>38591964
This guy can get a grill and I can't. wtf.

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Alright guys, I'm gonna tell you my story and let you know how doomed robots really are.
All throughout high school, I never talked to girls cause I was scared shitless of them. I had a small friend circle and we always got into trouble as that was the only attention we would get.
I took an engineering course after high school and dropped out after 2 years cause my life spiralled out of control due to drug addiction. College life was the same where I only had like 2 friends (my roommates) and never spoke to girls.
So now, I joined another college and thought this would be a fresh start.
Between colleges, I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and social anxiety and was(still am) on prescription drugs, so that helped me a bit.
So in this new college, I went out of my way to be social, even with girls. Everyone's new so I went around introducing myself and made small talk. Surprisingly, it was easy and I was initially happy at the progress I was making.
But then, I started to notice them being unintended in me. They just drifted away, but seemed to get along with each other.
Now the people I used to talk a lot to don't even say hi when they walk past me. Now I'm all alone on campus - I sit in class by myself, eat alone, walk about alone.
I'm average looking and in good shape.

So fellow robots, some people are just not meant to be with other people. Loneliness is the only true friend we have. Social life is not meant for us.

>inb4 failed normie
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
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OP here, I meant *uninterested
>>
But did you make an effort to stay in touch with them?
>>
I think I might have bipolar disorder, albeit a minor version of it. It it worth it to get diagnosed?

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>when even normies are starting to repost shit like this
11 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>38591868
>starting to
Don't you mean
>have been for years
>>
Its always 100% ironic because being 'depressed' is the funny meme for normies right now.

>'lmao i want to die'

I FUCKING HATE NORMIES WHY DO THEY HAVE TO TRIVIALIZE THIS SHIT. I WANT TO LITERALLY DIE AND EVERYONE THINKS ITS A STUPID FUNNY NORMIE MEME
>>
>>38591868
You don't understand. They don't think that or agree with it at all. They find it funny because it's so absurd.


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