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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5585. page

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>on a date
>ate chipotle yesterday
>need to fart
>it wasnt a fart
>red colored diahhrea goes into my underwear
>date asks whats that smell
>blame it in the waiter
>awkwardly try to continue date
>she is obviously looking for a way out sfter realizing it was me,
>my table smells like the special classes for tards
>she says shes going to the bathroom
>never see her again
>awkwardly walk out of the restraunt with shit running down my leg without paying because too embarassed

ive never been so fucking humiliated, i want to die.
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36902530
Fucking heII, you robots are disgusting
>>
>eating chipotle

There was your first mistake
>>
>>36902530
>on a date
So this is accepted now? Everyone just ignores the fact that this fucking piece of shit was on a date with a female?

Im starting to understand all the backlash against "normies invading our board" now.

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I bought black lipstick yesterday and so far all I have done is fapped to myself in te mirror with it on what else should I do?
22 posts and 5 images submitted.
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draw up some artwork on your walls. alternatively, considering what you've done already, you might as well shove the entire thing up your ass
>>
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lipstick in pooper now
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>>36902502
You could whore out facepics on the internet.

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> Every girl has done this pose and successfully get replies.
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36902372
surprised she didn't cover her entire face...guess shes too young for that
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>>36902393
Gooks are so fucking ugly
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>>36902500
Id fuck even the 5/10

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What's the workload like for university
Don't say a lot or way worse than highschool be specific
Like how many assignments, presentations exams on estimate
15 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Bumpeer
>>
>>36902370
My classes are heavily geared toward writing, so there are a few templates to work from. So far I've seen:

Template 1:
Big weekly reading assignments with either required notes or question and answer segments

Two exams, one midterm, one final

One essay, about 8 pages minimum

Template 2:
Same as Template 1 except exams and single paper are replaced with two papers of slightly longer length

Template 3:
3 big essays (12 pages each on average)

2 group presentations

weekly discussion board participation, along with some small assignment
>>
>>36902370
Uni is pretty easy desu if you're not some idiot that'll completely disregard their workload. I think it was even less work than high school.

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WE ARE NOTHlNG BUT ANIMALS
20 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>36902330
kek, what you expected to be
>>
>>36902330
i wish more people really understood this
normies treat humans like we're these infallible automata
i'd like more insight into the minds of these people, they react pretty negatively when confronted with the idea that we're a bunch of animals, so what do they think we are?
>>
Acknowledge your own wickedness, and only then can you work on it.

I remember reading this from the precepts of some satanic cult. They preach acceptance of sins as being natural, and as thus as something that can be better controlled.

It makes sense to me.

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How to win at the sleeping game?

>try to force myself to go to sleep
End up being more awake and stressed

>try to stay up all day so that sleeping pattern reset
Brain knocks me out in the middle of the day and sleeping pattern becomes even worse

>only get 2-3 hours sleep and wait until good time for sleep
Brain automatically wakes me up for no reason after 3 hours and unable to sleep again(currently happening)

>take sleeping medicine
go to sleep for 5 hours and feel like complete shit for 2 days

>finally fix sleeping pattern
Sleeping pattern gets later and later every day until the same thing happens again about 2 weeks later.
8 posts and 3 images submitted.
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I can sleep well if I do a lot of stuff in the day. Not necessarily exercise or hard work, just anything that isn't sitting at my computer.
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>>36902413
Lol doesn't help for me, today I slept through college and everyone had taken pictures of me sleeping.

Will probably happen again today too.
>>
>>36902327
Fucking hell, if this isn't me... I've come to the cobclusion that I just have to live with this.
I have migraine as well just to make it even worse.

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>it's been a month
>mommy still won't give back my DS
fucking cunt
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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What do you do to her tho
>>
Maybe you should get a job and your own place so mommy can't control you, ya little bitch
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>>36902321
didnt empty our her bloody vag rag from the bottom of her garbage can
fuck that shit, i'm not touching that

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Who /too paranoid to use social media/ here?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>36902265
I Don't, not that I have any friends to add anyway
Same thing with online gaming
>>
not paranoid just don't feel like caring or talking to them

but r9k is comfy so i stay here
>>
>>36902265
I totally stay away from social media. The only exception is places where I can post anonymously.

It's not that I'm paranoid. It's just that I absolutely despise all forms of advertising, marketing, etc., and I know that all those websites care about is turning me into some kind of product to be bought and sold and displayed ads to.

My hatred of advertising is what keeps me from watching any television broadcasts ever. I only watch ripped TV shows from bittorrent.

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Would you ever want to fuck a genderswapped version of you from another universe?
12 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>36902239
Yeah. Maybe. I'm half black and have rather soft indistinguisable facial features for a male. I'd be a cute thicc girl. But no.
>>
totally, and make little anon babies also
>>
Obviously immediately

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>"AnoooOOOooonnnn! Which one of us are you going to give your virginity to? You CAN'T keep us waiting like this! It's cruel!"
17 posts and 8 images submitted.
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H-heh, I'll never lose my virginity cause I never lose!
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>>36902114
>...and then you wake up, filled with an incredible sadness
>>
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>>36902114
None you disgusting roasted succubi, I know your game. Take my virginity then my life. Not today whores, my wizard powers are protected.

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What is a warehouse job like?

What are the shit/good jobs when working in a warehouse?

What do you do?
Is it good for robots?
42 posts and 4 images submitted.
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Work in an Amazon one. Best jobs around the warehouse are the ones where you're both busy but at the same time can tune out and just think about stuff, because those ones make the day go by faster.

I do "picking" which is basically glorified grocery shopping. I go around with some totes on a trolley/cage and collect the items that the screen on the scanner tells me to. Easiest thing in the warehouse to do, but drives normies crazy. Thankfully I'm very patient and this job is all I have and as noted above most of the time I just like to tune out and be alone in my thoughts. In that regard, I'd say it's good for robots. Have gone days at a time without speaking to anyone there, outside of passing smiles and hello's and what not.
>>
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I used to have a warehouse job. I had to
>walk around and clean up whatever messes I found
>help the boss man load pallets with product and he'd cart them off
>occasionally help a customer load product into their truck
>ride with the other workers down to construction sites to offload drywall
There wasn't a lot of social interaction involved, which was great, but the labor is backbreaking. I was lucky to be let off (it was a temp position I got through an agency) because I felt like my back was about to snap after three days of work.
If you're not already in shape it will destroy you.
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>>36902189
>>36902206
how was the pay? I am 19, will they hire me?

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What is the best bank to start an account at?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>36902012
Sperm bank , since you will masturbate the rest of your life everyday.
>>
>>36902012
None, they all take your money.

But if you want to check out Credit Unions. They have all the benefits and more as well as the lack of bullshit from banks.
>>
>>36902012

Go for a local credit union. Lower fees, and you can use any other credit union as a local branch.

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"It isn't going to sniff itself Anon"
21 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>tfw had an ex who had a puss that smelled like armpit

It doesn't always smell like this right?
>>
thanks for saving me from breaking nofap my man
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>>36902017
it usually smells worse

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What do you guys think about 4chan's negative representation in the News? Pic not related
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>36901971
Accurate.
Keanu Reeves is my spirit animal.
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>>36901971
i think its bad because it brings faggots like >>36902342 who say shit like "oh man pizza is my spirit animal i love reddit" flooding into the board.
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>>36901971
the more unsavory types we attract, the more lost souls i can direct towards the light

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>Be lonely
>Hire a prostitute
>She comes to my house
>She asks me what I want to do
>I ask her would it be okay if I just cuddled with her for an hour
>She's incredibly confused
>I tell her I'll pay her extra if she wants but I just want to cuddle for a little while
>She asks me if that's all I want and if I'm sure I don't want to have sex
>I say I don't and this is all I want
>She asks why
>I tell her I'm just lonely
>She shakes her head and gets up and goes to the door
>I try to stop her and say I'll pay her whatever she wants
>She pulls out a police badge and says she's a cop
>Oh crap
>She says she was planning on arresting me when I admitted my intentions but this isn't what she expected
>She says to me to stop talking to prostitutes and find a nice girl or something then leaves
>tfw I didn't get to cuddle with her
Being a loser might have saved me.
40 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>36901939
That was a nice cop she seems relaxed and understanding
>>
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Lawful +1 point get

Respect +5 points get

my sides
>>
What a prude


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