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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7177. page

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Why don't you try murdering someone?
15 posts and 1 images submitted.
Ill leave way too much evidence, splooge, cum, blood, hair, my credit card info on the knife I bought. The meth that fell out of my back pocket that my half finger print is on. My shoe prints, the blood caked all over my shirt when I stab you in your aordic artery.

Once I was driving late at night and saw a homeless man sleeping in the side of the curb. I could have easily ran over him, he would die and nobody would ever know it was me. I just didn't want to do it, I'm not that much of a piece of shit yet.
don't wanna inflate their ego by makin em think they were worth an effort

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> i saw the qt depressed looking cashier at the grocery store again
oh gosh how do i get my heart to stop fluttering
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
What does it mean to look depressed?
sadnesss is when you cant get tripps
girls can't be depressed, she was probably just bored.

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>anon come swimming with me
19 posts and 7 images submitted.
why are you wearing makeup to go swimming?
k. i can't swim though so i need to hold on to your boobs for flotation.
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I can't swim :(


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>Tfw just got diagnosed with gyno
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
HRT will solve your problems
They wouldn't give me T just to fix some gyno. It's registered as a "controlled substance" where I live
If you dont have the money for surgery the only option is to get your bodyfat % as low as you can.

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How can white cunts even compete?
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
What do you mean? Asian chicks would rather get white cock than asian shrimpdick.
by not needing fucking eyelid surgery to fix their inferior genetics

also white women are actually pretty diverse, whereas all gooks looks the fucking same
Why would they when the BBC is right around the corner?

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ITT: shoes for robots.
14 posts and 6 images submitted.
only true robot shoe
Yo why are those Basketball shoes for robots? Seem pretty comfy and nice to me desu
Because I don't play basketball which defeats the purpose

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>little brother who is 3 years younger than me moving in with his long-term GF
>he has had a stable job for many years, and relationshits since he was 13
>meanwhile I am the underachieving loner whom it took 4+ years to finish a 2-year degree
>no relationships with women to speak with
>still live with parents

Its a relief to have a somewhat normie sibling, I'll tell ya whut. Takes some weight off your shoulders, since your parents aren't putting all of their hope and faith on your success.
14 posts and 3 images submitted.
I feel ya OP

I'm waiting for my sister to have a kid so I can finally kill myself
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>tfw only under performer in a family of multiple high performing siblings
>siblings constantly ask why I've had to move back in
>Parents have no idea what they're gonna do with me
My brother is you.
Your brother is me.

All of the pressure for success is on me. Every fucking bit of it. It's the worst. My family bugs the shit out of me to settle down and start having kids. I'm not ready for that. Got a lot of love to give before I settle down.

>mfw I catch the smell of a bakery
>mfw I'd let bread fuck me
15 posts and 3 images submitted.
I'd let the subs at Subway fuck me
chad.breadwinner claiming toasties with pheromone power advantage alone


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Hey bots. Get in here and let's listen to some music. Anything goes. But you'll get skipped if you get half or more of the population's mehs. Enjoy.

24 posts and 12 images submitted.
get in here robots......i am original as fuck..suck my dicks
faggots....get in here....shit is pretty fun
A very original and shameless self bump

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happy birthday to me
>tfw family members are too poor to afford any presents
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
Happy birthday, anon.
Does your family remember about this day?
Thank you mr trips. Mom is cooking tendies for me tonight
That's awesome.
now we must resist the temptation to turn it into tendies appreciation thread

i have a painful cyst between my asscheeks i cant even sit up to play wow feelsbadman
how do i get rid of this?
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
Go to the doctor. He will give you better information than a bohemian basket weaving forum.
is it right above your ass crack? thats where mine was and apparently its called a pilonidal cyst and comes from when you sit on your ass too much i.e playing wow.

get that shit drained at the doctor bro its the only way. if you're lucky they give you pain pills like me lol
>He will give you better information than a bohemian basket weaving forum.

So you gave him bad information? Devilish.

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>Having to repeat an introduction in your head in an attempt to not fuck it up
>tfw fuck it up anyway
>p-pic related
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
only when i'm coming down from a lot of alcohol and weed, and I'm hoping the wrong people aren't going to notice.

i feel like the only reason we're failing is not being careless enough. I only stutter when I feel like i absolutely can't mess up and then it bites me in the ass
I stutter and it sucks. Thankfully, I'm a nice fella in RL and my friends like/pity me enough to not make a big deal out of it.
With me it comes and goes and comes again, I don't know why.

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What is the most important point of life?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
Death. We're all on borrowed time.
Getting dubs lmao

I want to LICK and SNIFF a stinky MILF's sweaty asshole when she gets home from work!
28 posts and 19 images submitted.
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I want to lick and sniff a stinky anon's sweaty asshole when he gets home from work
I want to lick a sweaty repugnant DILF's ass

I wouldn't mind a cute boy licking my sweaty ass when I get home from work. Btw, hope you like your buttholes hairy anon, cause it's a jungle in my crack. Don't worry though, I'm very hygienic; it'll just trap sweat for you.

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>parents left for the week
>now I can sit in my room all day with the door open
14 posts and 3 images submitted.
woah dont get too crazy there dude
Naked amirite?
>neighbors walk by and see your pale bony body tacking away on your keyboard
>door closed

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