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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4698. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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Do you happen to look like any videogame characters, r9k?
23 posts and 11 images submitted.
>>
Life is so hollow.
>>
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>>37666589
I look like ganondorf from Zelda. 6ft+, tanned, receding hairline, intense eyes and big nose.

Me and my friend who looks like a twink dressed up as link and Gannon respectively and won a costume contest.
>>
We're all dooo-ooomed

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>Talking to chick online
>We exchange pics, some lewd and some just regular face pics
>She's half black
>Really into her, she's really into me
>She sent me a pic of her smiling
>In that instant it reminded me of my mother
>Mfw in that very instance I realized she is extremely similar to my mom
>Have a slight moment where I feel like a disgusting freak

Fuck. Should I keep going for her? It feels weird to think about. Was Freud fucking right?
16 posts and 3 images submitted.
>>
>>37666584
She is NOT your mother, no matter how similar she seems. Fucking her brains out and calling her mommy still wouldn't be weird because she IS NOT YOUR REAL MOTHER.
As long as you don't actively make her wear your mother's clothes or shape her to be more like your mom, there's nothing wrong here.
>>
>>37666584
Yeaaah don't worry just be your self !
This is the advice you gave us since the beginning so it must work for you !
>>
>>37666584
all humans are similar to one another on some level. If you want to fuck this chick that's fine because she's not your mom.

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>Use to love writing and would write every day
>Now write once a week if I'm lucky
>Ideas use to come to me so quickly and so fast that I could never get them all down
>Now I struggle to think of anything interesting to write about
>Feel depressed about this, to the point that I'm starting to feel hopeless and despair

>Talk to someone I know who loves to write as well about this
>He says "Low points are just a part of the creative process. Struggling to come up with ideas shouldn't make you depressed. Maybe you're just not a writer, man"
>mfw
20 posts and 3 images submitted.
>>
Do you have this picture before the text convo got put on top? Also sorry about what happening to you man it sounds like it sucks.
>>
>>37666780

Here you go friend-did-li-o
>>
i know that feeling. I have a shitload of ideas and bright images in my head right now, but i can't start writing. I just can't. Waiting for inspiration, i guess, though it never cames. Not in the quantities i require to start and finish at least something. Life is shit.

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>protestants really believe that faith alone will get you to heaven
28 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>37666502

Is this serious or bait? I'm not religious so not sure
>>
>>37666543
>Is this serious or bait? I'm not religious so not sure
Of course it's bait , you can trust me.
>>
You also have to give Jesus your soul. Its his secret to immortality.

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all of you are subhuman animals.
i would take great pleasure in killing each and every one of you
14 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>37666312
he's pointing the gun at himself
>>
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brooding is only sexy if you're literally Chad
>>
>>37666330
i am chad you filthy dog

Ask a socially retarded handsome robot with 300 tinder matches anything
40 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>37666242
Since when lying is a virtue ?
>>
>>37666242
when you got to about 100 matches, why didn't you start getting more selective on who you swiped right for like everybody else does?
>>
>handsome
So then not a robot. If you even have the self-esteem to think or believe you're handsome, you're not a robot.

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What does /r9k/ think of spanking?

Did your parents spank you?

If you had kids, would you spank them?
32 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>37666112
Best damn well believe I'm gonna whoop my kids. My folks were way too soft on me.
>>
>>37666112
Do it once or twice to teach your children its a possibility but don't make a habit of it.
>>
>>37666112
>What does /r9k/ think of spanking?
Good, very useful, unfortunately the cucks in my Krautistan are against it

>Did your parents spank you?
Nah, but my mother would slap me once or twice if I fucked up. My father was always working. My elder brother hit me mostly.

>If you had kids, would you spank them?
Yeah, if they do not follow the rules I gave them (and which I myself lived by), then I will slap the shit outta them. Good for character building.

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I've been working on setting up a BRAND NEW /r9k/-exclusive Minecraft server

IP: 69.175.47.21:25585

DISCORD: asATNkJ

BRAND NEW MAP. Will be up forever so do not worry about losing your progress. Girls needs not apply.
25 posts and 13 images submitted.
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PLUGINS:

Lockette
WorldGuard
Factions
>>
do you have an overview of the map?
>>
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>>37666083
ON IT BOSS

Imma figure that out now

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Just got up the confidence to ask a girl out for the first time in 6 years.

She of course rejected me, it wasn't a train wreck or anything. She said she had a boyfriend. I never said anything creepy or cracked any autistic jokes.

Anyway now I'm in a slump, feel shitty and lethargic. How do I get out of said slump?
12 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Fuck your thread you whiny limp dicked faggot, I'm tripping balls and that picture is scary as fuck.

Holy shit dude
>>
This is me >>37666020

I'll give you a nickel if you suck my balls.
>>
>>37666020
Thanks anon, that made me laugh. I needed that.

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lads, I need help, how do I get into camera tricks for dick pics, my dick is only 6'5" inches and I want to make it look bigger. If it looked like it was over 7 inches maybe, I could finally get someone else outside of the Latino chasers that asks me to speak them in Spanish while they call me Paco. Also, do you send dick pics as soon as they ask how big it is or you just say your measurement?
22 posts and 5 images submitted.
>>
>>37665896
>be american
>have to give a tip right after birth
kek you dumb fatfucks
>>
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>>37665940
top fucking kek that's a good one
>>
>>37665999
cant believe that comment is original

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>wake up at 11 am
>look around the ol' basement
>messy as usual
>dinner for the last month is sprawled around on various plates and in various boxes
>I smell as I haven't showered in a week
>Today's the day, I tell myself
>Just going to play vidya for an hour
>I'll clean this basement up, take a shower, and go look for some jobs so my parents get off my chest
>eat breakfast/lunch
>go downstairs
>play vidya for "an hour"
>5 hours pass
>do some meaningless cleaning, not even getting started when I go eat dinner
>it's pizza again
>eat it downstairs as I get frustrated at lack of progress
>play vidya to calm myself down
>it's now 8 pm
>"Well, I can do it tomorrow I guess"
>masturbate furiously into my flashlight
>depression sets in
>play vidya to hide from the depression
>it's now 1 am
>browse 4chan
>post "NEET life" threads
>it's now 3 am
>go to sleep
>depression keeps me up until 4
>rinse, wash, repeat
16 posts and 7 images submitted.
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>>37665846
>tfw coming up on my 1 year NEET anniversary
I need out of this hell lads
>>
>>37665985
Honestly, just become a courtesy clerk at a store. Preferably Albertson's, you get paid a decent amount and there's room to advance. Pretty much everybody who works there was a courtesy clerk at some point.

Or work at Winco. You'll be working your ass off, but again, plenty of room for advancement.
>>
>no bills
>no debt
>enough money to dance 3 times a week and prevent social retardation
>enough time to research business ideas instead of coming home exhausted from retail work every day

NEET life is only hell if you plan to stay there. It's a fine springboard.

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>shrink down to an inch in your room
>mom walks in
>"Oh my anon, look how small you are! I can't say I'm too disappointed - with you never holding down a job, constantly staying in your room and never having a girlfriend. Anyways anon, I came up to tell you that I'm moving in with chad and selling the place... Come to think of it, maybe this is for the best! I'm sorry about this baby, but I can't stand to see you like this & chad would find this too hilarious and probably keep you as a pet in a jar on the bedside table or something if he seen you all small and pathetic like this, and that would be a pretty miserable existence for you! Tell you what anon, if you just stand still for a second I will fix this - let me just take this slipper off..."
18 posts and 6 images submitted.
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FUCKING STOP

ORIGINALITY PHALITY
>>
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do i have nice feet robutts?
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>>37665827
*hides in slipper*
*whiff*

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Basically I'm in 6th form (year 12) and I'm thinking about my options for next year: I'm not clever enough to go to a great university, but maybe I could get into a good one (I messed up on my GCSEs - 4As, 4BS, 2Cs (my targets were all As)) and I'm doing maths, further maths and physics A levels. I was thinking of entering the navy as I could grow physically and mentally.
Basically, I came here for advice: should I join the royal navy ? and if so, should I go to university first? Does millitary life improve you as much as I hope and is there opportunity to travel?
15 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>being part of a navy that uses RAMPS
lol
>>
>>37665720
do you mean the ski jumps on the aircraft carriers?
>>
>>37665701
University is essential if you want to take the officer path.

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Femanons, come to this thread and tell us why you're not like the other girls.
386 posts and 38 images submitted.
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I for one have a penis.
>>
>>37665623
I reply to threads made by underage retards who use 4chan as a way to establish the most indirect form of communication with women possible while they ruin the board for anyone else.

As for how I'm like the other girls, I think you should probably hang yourself.
>>
>>37665729
this
no one can put this any better
/thread

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>Enter your room
>See her
How do you react?
45 posts and 11 images submitted.
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>>37665599
Youd hear a huge thwap

The thwap noise is my dick gitting her ass.
>>
Take my clothes off and spoon her.
Fall asleep snuggling with my dick between her cheeks.
>>
>>37665599
ask her how she got there and for consent to make sweet love to her all day long

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