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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2841. page

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Post Pepsi meme Robots
6 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38314532
I remember when I was 4/5 walking into a circle k and seeing the pepsi logo above the soda fountain
pepsi by far evokes the comfiest feelings for me; there's just something about the taste combined with the name and logo
I wonder if the Butterfly Joe song that mentions pepsi intentionally selected pepsi for a similar reason or if it was just arbitrary, but either way, it was always brings out a sense of pleasure when hearing that line.
>>
>>38314532
>going to get raped in the ass by the boys
>>
Had some fun ideas, but no editor installed now and need to go, have a bump at least.

>there are dumbass self hating coons on this board who would actually choose this ugly potato faced cracker bitch over a fine black woman, even letting this pasty limp dog hair having whore enact slave fantasies with them because hey at least she's white and has pale skin lolol fuck you faggot ass coon niggas
11 posts and 3 images submitted.
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stay salty, tyrone
t. cracker
>>
>>38314534
>he thinks Jennifer Lawrence is attractive

get some standards
>>
post ebony goddesses pl0x

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How can I tell when I have a drinking problem? I basically want to get buzzed every night.
31 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>38314401
Drinking every night isn't that big of a deal.
Getting wrecked every day is unhealthy. As soon as it starts affecting your life in a negative way you have a problem.
>>
If you haven't been to jail yet there's no problem hrkejdj
>>
As long as you aren't getting shitfaced, you're good. Just keep it to a buzz

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Can someone please tell me they love me? Please?
28 posts and 5 images submitted.
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I.love.you.
.love.you.I
love.you.I.
ove.you.I.l
ve.you.I.lo
e.you.I.lov
.you.I.love
you.I.love.
>>
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>>38314363

(You)

I love you too... as a friend.
>>
Hi anon, you need love for yourself
Love from others won't do much but distract you for a while
Learn to be okay with yourself

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> Be me years ago, couple of days before sophomore year of college starts
> Get call from friend asking to help him and his family move furniture into his new place near me
> Show up a few minutes later, his family is walking out as I arrive
> His mom kind of gives me a weird look, can't tell if it's a smile or a grimace
> da fuck did I do?
> As I the door of his apartment, all is clear
> Struck by blast of wind directly from Satan's asshole
> Nearly vomit on the floor as I fight my way into the apartment, the stench is almost palpable and I have to swim through a miasma of microwaved fish allowed to boil in ballsweat for three weeks
> Friend is standing in the middle of the floor, making intense and desperate eye contact with me
> Hey...Man...
> His eyes are about to pop out of his head
> Throat is clenching as he tries not to gag
> Notice some fat guy with a neck-beard standing frozen in the corner with his eyes popping out of his head.
> Head is pulled down into his chins like a turtle
> Try to talk to my friend, the sperg in the corner snaps his head back and forth whenever one of us speaks
> He doesn't seem to notice the smell
> Assume it was friend's mom's cooking and don't comment on it
> Feel kind of bad, try to include the guy in the conversation
> After a few one-word answers, he waddles forward and the smell of death increases exponentially as he approaches
> Seems we have gained his trust, and after some weird spastic comments about WoW (unrelated to what we were talking about) he runs off to the bathroom.
> The smell slowly recedes, friend starts breathing in choked gasps. Just says "holy fuck" and sits down on the floor
> Explains that this guy has been here two weeks before he moved in
> Before I arrived my friend asked him how to switch the water flow in the tub to the showerhead. His roommate just said "I dunno, I haven't used it"

much more to come
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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> neckbeard comes back
> smell is still terrible, but he sits on the other side of the room
> turn on the Colbert Report and try not to talk to him, but we've gotten him started and he's now yammering away about how he's ready to kick ass at Computer Science after taking Javascript at community college
> I'm also CS, explain the courses mostly use Java in exercises
> "Same thing"
> wut
> Starts yammering away about something or other
> Suddenly jumps up and skips into the kitchen, the floorboards screaming on impact
> Emerges moments later with a literal armful of frozen meat that he pulled from the freezer
> Starts dancing around the living room with his eyes closed and this big shit-eating grin on his face
> Starts humming to himself as he whirls around, seems to forget about us for a little while
> Friend's family returns and I can tell by the look on their faces that, for a moment, they regret having migrated from Nigeria

this weird little fucker did some other crazy shit before eventually being forced to leave school after the counselors deemed him a threat to himself or others
>>
>>38314424
>>38314299

pretty crazy story, op. wanna hear MY sperg story? im the sperg in this situation.

>be me
>no one likes me
>im so lonely

welp thats it bro hope you enjoyed
>>
>> 38314937
Well, if you don't smell like aged piss and curry then you have that going for you at least

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why is there no website where mature women fuck chubby unexpierienced virgins?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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because no one wants to watch that. dumbass
>>
It's called craigslist.

I met and lost my virginity at 25 to a 45 year old last year... still seeing here about once a month for wild sex sessions. Anything goes, she cooks for me and shit too. Mommy GF wins
>>
>>38314715
Can I get something like this if I don't have a car?

>*mutilates our sons penis*

Tehee, nothing personal kid. My body my choice :)
29 posts and 9 images submitted.
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If I ever have a kid, he's being uncut just like me. Thank god my parents didn't fall for the jew.
>>
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>>38314189

It's usually the doctors and both parents who decided that--not the mothers. In fact, usually the most anti-circ raving lunatics are females; men usually think it's "no big deal" and don';t want their son to stand out for having the only uncut wang in the locker room
>>
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>>38314189
>>38314510
>tfw parents cut my dick so severely that I can't masturbate and gave me genetics so shitty that I can't have sex

imagine being born without the ability to eat food but being constantly hungry. this is hell

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If you've experienced extreme or long-term:
>hunger or malnutrition
>dehydration
>exposure to cold, hot, rain
>exposure to lethal violence
>debilitating illness or injury

You are NOT ALLOWED to complain about your life because you have NO REAL PROBLEMS
11 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38314178
>extreme
What if you've had 2 of the five but you're still a Chad?
>>
>>38314178
Please proof-read your posts, OP.
>>
>fast regularly for five days at a time

quit gate keeping, faggot. nobody likes people like you.

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>be me, 23 yr old NEET
>parents say get a job or I'm out of the house
>fuckingparents.png
>have no skills, hobbies, marketable traits
>dad says if I can't find anything better I have to go to a temp agency
>go sign up at temp agency
>answer questionnaire before being allowed to work for them
>literally 70 questions, all different variations of "do you steal from work" and "do you hit people when you get angry"
>no job before = never stolen from work, so get accepted no problem
>temp agency has two categories, labor and office
>can't due labor because unfit because of thyroid condition
>get assigned comfy office job, told I will be stuffing envelopes for three days for some mail out
>go to temp job first day fucking sucks
>office smells like old cardboard and farts
>work 2 hours folding and stuffing paper into evelopes with 2 other dudes from temp agency (other dudes are wearing dress shirts with no tie, I am wearing Metallica tshirt becaue no one told me I had to dress up)
>after 2 hours time for coffee break
>office manager says we can help ourselves to the coffee machine in the break room if we want
>I like coffee so I do
14 posts and 4 images submitted.
>>
>go to break room, find a mug and see coffee maker
>look in fridge and find some of those individual sealed butter containers
>scoop 2 butter containters into mug and put in microwave for 30 seconds on hi
>notice group of 3 office Staceys looking over at me and giggling
>they must be into me, this could be my chance to get a qt3.14 7/10 gf and finally ascend to normiedom, all on my first day with an adult job
>microwave beeps, take mug and pour coffee into melted butter because that's how I like my coffee
>Staceys giggling even harder, think they must be mirin' hard
>take coffee to their table and sit down to introduce myself but before I can even say "hi" one of them asks "what did you just do to your coffee?"
>I'm surprised by their question, because my coffee is none of their business
>I tell them I like a little melted butter in my coffee for flavor, just like some people like sugar or milk
>explain that really it's the same as adding milk or cream because butter is a dairy
>the Staceys all laugh at me and the lead Stacey says to the others "no wonder he looks like that"
>anger and shame well up in me and I run out of the break room
>don't even go back to envelope stuffing room just grab my scooter and go home
>get call from temp agency that afternoon, my parents answered the phone
>dad says he had to plead with them not to fire me and they agreed to give me one more shot but that I'm "not suited for office work"
>fucking labor just kill me now
>>
lmoa fatty
>>
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"Champ, winners never quit. Now march back in there, look the manager in the eye, shake his hand, and tell him you're the right man for the job. Didn't raise a quitter."

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ITT: small things you've gotten away with
>accidentally brought bullets into class in middle school after going hunting earlier in the morning and didn't realize it until later
Looking back I would've been absolutely fucked had someone seen them in my coat pocket, or god help me had they fallen out.
34 posts and 9 images submitted.
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>>38314150
I forgot a machete in my laptop case in 9th grade.
>>
>>38314150

I actually brought a 9mm and flashed it for shits and giggles at school 10 years ago. In the morning, I traded 2 sidekick phones to a nigger who gave me the gun and 3 blunts. When the teachers weren't looking, I would flash the students the magazine and the gun. Didn't get caught but it was very stupid and I know the gun was dirty because the nigger was a Crips gang banger. Fuck me.
>>
>>38314403
Do you live in Detroit?

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>Anon sweetie, quit phoneposting on your chinese picture boards and come fuck grammy's horny pussy
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
Who /OlderWomanFetish/ here?
Post more
>>
>>38314104
That's scary looking.
>>
That's too good looking to be a granny hole.

FUCK
My buddy just caught me furiously jacking it to pic related, what the fuck do i do
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38314049
Admit you're a faggot and ask him to suck his dick.
>>
You can stop by not making bad threads. Let this be your last.
>>
Nothing. You have good taste.

I need some pussy /r9k/
14 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Why? It's not like it's all that great. Don't fall for the roastie lies.
>>
>>38314131
t. faggot oreganio
>>
>>38314131

It is pretty great though.
I miss women. Having a woman and then losing it is like being removed from the garden of Eden. You'd rather have just been born in Zion and never known the pleasures.

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>one week ago faggots couldn't stop shilling crypto
>suddenly stops
>I figure they were banned
>nope, it's just crashing like pic related

If you're one of the people that tried to get /r9k/ into your stupid ponzi scheme: fuck you
8 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Is this guy on suicide watch?
>>
>>38314127
only if he didn't diversify correctly.

The market has ups and downs all the time, its a cycle, man.

For your portfolio to tank ~50% in a month means something is terrible wrong with that stock/whatever OR its highly speculative.
>>
>>38314127
they all are. /biz/ is actually having some normal finance threads for once now that no one is shilling this trash

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Christian general thread. Questions? I've got answers holier than Muhammad.

There will be no promotion of
>masturbation
>pornography
>an hero
>otherwise degenerate acts
Without argument

Mormons can fuck off

Muslims can fuck off

Jews are alright in my book, as are most main Protestant faiths and Orthodox faiths.

I am a Catholic male, so everything I say will be from the perspective of a Catholic male.

Daily reminder that Deus Vult was not an inside job.
28 posts and 7 images submitted.
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bumping to purge fags
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>>38314327
Yeah, I guess there's too many manlovers on this board for this to work out.

Ah well.
>>
>>38314339
I thought this was all a plan to get rid of the fags without getting our threads deleted.
The mods are shitters that delete anti-fag threads.


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