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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4768. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

*blocks your path*
H-hey desu...I've been watching you...I'm r-really shy and I've been wanting to get to know you b-better...

what do/say
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>37610287
*blocks your path*
*farts*
>>
>>37610287
that's really sweet :) sure i'd like that.
what's your name?
>>
Suck my dick and I wont tell anyone that you're a stalker.

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ITT: Childhood Feels
30 posts and 12 images submitted.
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>Taking care of chao in sonic games
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>>37610263
being happy origino
>>
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>Mom coming home drunk every night at midnight to 2am
>Mom beating us when she got upset, even if it wasn't our fault
>Mom passed out foaming at the mouth on Christmas eve

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>tfw boys never look at you because you're 4'8"
131 posts and 31 images submitted.
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fuck off you stupid midget
>>
>tfw girls never look at you because you're 6'8"
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>>37610227
Maybe it's because you are a fucking man

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>be me
>5'6 ugly manlet with long and dirty hair
>tfw i did a knot like pic releated
>tfw i look like a normie
feels good, i will lost my v card soon, you should get a new hairstyle you know
14 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>tfw skinny lanklet
>tfw fluffy curly hair that is utterly unstyleable
This is the true hell.
People with straight hair CANNOT EVER be robots
>>
>>37610239
>tfw straight hair
>is by default a bowlhaircut
I can't do shit with it's either bowl haircut or I have to get a buzz haircut.
I wish I had curly hair
>>
>>37610271
Dude just part it to the side, cut the sides short and boom. normie haircut.

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You go to a random porn industry expo and it took you for surprise that your favorite porn actress/actor is in the place.

Who is?
What would you ask her/him?
60 posts and 19 images submitted.
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having a hard time even thinking of who that might be. probably a tranny camwhore. "how much for cock sucking lessons" or something similar.
>>
>>37610180
What's her opinion on the gaza strip
>>
>>37610180
Wouldn't. Would be too shy.

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I am an average looking dude and already fucked three girls on there.
91 posts and 17 images submitted.
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>>37610167
I'm not fit and I don't have a smartphone.
In fact I'm fat. This won't work.
>>
>>37610167

Don't own a smartphone
>>
>>37610167
>not a virgin

>average looking

>rk9

i think you are on the wrong board anon

You were behind your window, and i was trying to hide from everyone, but you noticed me and looked at me with a unnecessarily cute smile.
25 posts and 10 images submitted.
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>>37610141
Spoon with me
>>
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hello spoon onichan i hope you will find your misaki one day
>>
>>37610141
mcf is that you?

CRISPY

TASTY

TENNNNDIIIEEES

NORMIES GET OUT THIS IS A TENDIES THREAD

What are you spending your GBP on? These are from Zips, a local fast food chain of a few locations. These are the second best tendies here. Mommy said I could have them for 20 GBP and I can't have hump time on her pillow or sniff her hairbrush tonight. Kinda fucked but sometimes I negotiate.
33 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>37610106

That's a weak ass tendie box you got there.

Real robots get something like pic related.
>>
>>37610106

>Starts a tendie thread
>Doesn't even post in it

Kek.
>>
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I just had some of these today, with Sweet Baby Ray's mustard barbecue.

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When did Japanese/weeb stuff become so popular with normies?
16 posts and 2 images submitted.
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yesterday, i think
the next stage in the normie agenda of plundering all geekdom
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>>37610098
is brennan williams our guy? a true blackbot.
>>
The meme realm has been leaking into the real of normies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAgnPC-HzvQ

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I miss my oneitis so god damn much, you do not even understand. I can't get over her because she never really got over me either. Please help.
25 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>37609853
if neither of you are over each other whats preventing you from going out
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>>37609877
She's in a relationship I don't want to ruin, and I'm a mess. I high tailed it out of her life years ago because I figured I'm not the kind of guy who'd make her happy, she saw things in me I didn't see in myself. I'm browsing /r9k/, so a low self-esteem is a given and I don't wanna risk wrecking 2 more hearts. Her boyfriend seems like a nice guy as well, but she doesn't tell me anything about him.
>>
>>37609985
Well if you ever get the chance I say you should go for it
I know what its like to have low self-confidence but you can't let it rule your life

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ITT state a wish.
Anons reply to corrupts your wish

Ill go fist.
I wish I was immortal
55 posts and 3 images submitted.
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I wish I won't wake up tomorrow
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>>37609823
..y-you already ruined it
>>
>>37609809
you can still feel pain

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Are non virgin girls good for anything but sex?

What self respecting man would ever commit to used goods?
14 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>37609773

basically a girl should lose her virginity only after getting 100% sure to be in a lifelong relationship - that is, marriage.
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>>37609773
>What self respecting man would ever commit to used goods?
Anybody who doesn't want to die alone.
It's alright though, I don't have to love them as much as virgin girls.
>>
>>37609773
They're more emotionally aware, understand their needs, more charismatic, sexual adventurism usually carries over to other aspects of life so they've probably done fun stuff they can talk about, have fun interests. They're better in every way.

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I-I lost my virginity 2 days ago,, robots.
Does that mean I have to go now? I don't want to.
34 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Lost your virginity to who?
>>
Its the price you must pay.
>>
I lost my virginity two years ago and I'm still shitposting here
you don't have to leave

Should I pee before I masturbate, or masturbate first to clean up in one trip to the bathroom?
12 posts and 5 images submitted.
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I've had this situation multiple times and I've made conclusions.
1) Since you can never quite get rid of piss from your dick (there are always a few drops left), when masturbating the pee splashes on your hands and nearby objects.
2) When you think about sex, blood rushes to your penis, stopping the need to pee. This makes it easier to masturbate if you need to pee.
3) As you said, if you masturbate first and then piss while cleaning up, you can do it in one trip, saving time, energy and resources. Bonus points for pissing in the sink lol
Tl;dr: Fap and then piss.
>>
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>>37609658
piss first, then eat your cum for an easy cleanup its way better for the hormones and light on the tissues
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>>37609658
Pee first. Makes for a comfier fap.

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It's been a while for me
27 posts and 6 images submitted.
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Romantically? It's been a little over three years.
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>>37609493
c-civil war
>>
>>37609493
Who is that Dune coon?


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