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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1743. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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Would you give her the warmth she needs?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeJVpZlZFXE
17 posts and 6 images submitted.
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I'm down desu
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>>38606569
I'd love to teach her to enjoy being choked and fucked.
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>clear, pale skin
>nice nose
>nice hair
>not fat
I'd be lucky if she'd even talk to me.

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What would your superhero power be?

Id have either creation with a very limited range or some kind of guardian entity ala stand.
37 posts and 9 images submitted.
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>>38606542
The ability to take a fat ogre shit but when the turd hits the water in the toilet none of it splashes up onto my buttcheeks, no matter how hard I launch it

You can call me dry heinie man
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>>38606542
The ability to attack with astral power.
>my sword, The Bathhouse Tiger attacks with astral power, anything without astral defense can be cut
>additionally, The Bathhouse Tiger can only be broken by astral attacks (has astral defense)
>the superhero name is Miracle Kid
>Miracle Kid also has astral based stats
>is physically capable of doing things like clones, after images, teleporting etc
>resistant to psychological attacks
>can make barriers, crude weapons, and attack rays with astral powers
>>
Avatar bending powers. If I was limited to one probably Earth. I'm not a good swimmer and fire is pretty useless outside of fighting.

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Tomorrow is my first day working for officemax. What should I expect?
12 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38606536
It should be fine, but you'll get tired of doing the same thing over and over again each day. That's how it starts, then you will full on hate your job. Atleast thats how it worked for me.
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>>38606536
Stick though it. You will literally cry when you meet your first mean customer/coworker.

After 5 retail jobs, I finally got 80% of the autism beaten out of me.
>>
>>38606584

Yup. I find it hilarious that I'm this cynical now, but after working enough jobs one of my favorite parts is watching the bright and shiny newbies slowly have their happiness sucked from them.

>hear them humming shit like "I'm a mf'in BOSS" few months in or so
>hear things like that less and less frequently from them as time goes on
>eventually they look pretty miserable usually

This is a very common part of the human condition: schadenfreude. Almost every single person exhibits it, including me.

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What does love feel like?

I'm 26 and I feel I'll never feel it. I'm slowly changing my life for the better but I feel young love is better and I missed out.
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Love bump
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>>38606513
I had one 3 year relationship in which I was totally in love (normmmiee reee). It felt wonderful, like someone always has your back, is enchanted by your mere presence, feels your pain when you feel pain.

Then I figured out I was getting cucked and thus began my rapid descent into alcoholism. It's fun while it lasts but it'll come to an end like all things and robot-type personalities in general are the ones that will get fucked over and up.
>>
it's a meme unless you somehow find the one in a million girl who will love you as much as you love her. otherwise, just devote your time to autistic hobbies and try not to think about it. trust me, I wish I had done this in the first place.

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>Do you think my boyfriend Jamal will like these? I'm so glad I have a guyfriend I can be so open with, anon.

What do you do?
15 posts and 6 images submitted.
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tfw my ass looks like this and im a guy
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>>38606462
>implying I would be in that situation in the first place
>being a guyfriend to a girl
nope lol
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>>38606462
Nah he'd hate it you stupid whore.

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>Thanks for taking me to the ice cream shop, anon. What do you wanna do next?
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
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put on a shirt you whore
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I want to break up with you and lay in an empty room and die
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>>38606448
>put on a shirt you whore
literally 100% of the time this webm appears, this is the first comment or some variant.

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hey robots. so i'm currently facing an issue in my life that i dont see a way around. ill try to greentext to make it short and to the point

>be me, 22
>suffered from anxiety and depression for most of my life
>currently living with dad, who doesnt really get how it affects people
>constant pressure to get a job
>finally after over a year i got an interview today
>offered the position
>accept it because better than some of the alternatives

but now im freaking out, panic attacks and all that. its real now, im going to be working a full time job.

which brings me to my question. ive never really been a true NEET. what i mean is, while i fit the actual acronym definition, i dont get neetbux or anything like that.
i really dont know if im going to be able to handle this job, so im wondering how do i actually go about applying and receiving stuff like that?

>sorry for long post
25 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>bump

pls help, idk where else to go for this type of advice
>>
I'm going through something similar now. I just got offered a full time 12.50 per hour job working somewhere i thought i would like. Ended up ghosting it and I'm back to square one. This is the second time in the past few months, and this job was definitely the best job offer I've ever gotten considering my limited experience and the fact ive walked off like almost all of my previous jobs. I cant' hold down a fucking job. Sorry for the rant. At least im lucky enough to have some inheritance money but i won't be able to live off that forever. I still live at home with my mom and (gf) and im 24. I wish I could help you more but maybe my story will make you feel better. It could always be worse. Don't be like me and pussy out, at least give it a try.
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>>38606431
You might get used to it OP, just make sure to have a nice cup of coffee before you go to work to make you feel better.

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>the holocaust totally happened!
>during an expensive up-hill war where resources were scare, Hitler chose to build expensive gas chambers and use expensive chemicals to kill millions of Jews instead of just letting them starve
>it totally happened guys!

When did you stop believing history books written by jews?
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38606430
go back to /pol/ you nazi
>>
Hitler spent resources into all kinds of crazy bullshit like researching ancient magical alien tech or hiring scientists to recreate an extint type of bull for some reason. I don't see how he wouldn't be the type of nigga to build elaborate facilities to cook jews en masse.
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>>38606430
gas chambers are cheap as fuck you retard, theyre just cement

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Share a deep dark secret and a song

I've never brought grievous harm to another human being in 21 years of existence

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8ZqFlw6hYg
75 posts and 13 images submitted.
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>>38606403
wow you were a decent human what a extremely dark secret.
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I always eat my cum.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqpnRGWg6GA
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I love degrading woman.. Slapping, spanking, face fucking, name calling etc... I've been in bdsm relationships

https://youtu.be/URAqnM1PP5E

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It's my birthday. Nobody I know cares.

Please give me some (You)'s to make me feel less shitty
32 posts and 7 images submitted.
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>>38606290
HHEHEHEHE HAYPY BIRHTSADH anuns
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>>38606290
We're all just sacks of meat, hurtling through time and space, on a course towards our expiry dates
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>>38606290
Happy birthday. I hope it's as good as it can be

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Reminder that /r9k/ is an alt-right board and Alt-left, faggots, traps and shitskins can't be robots.
10 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38606280
allow the traps pls its a part of r9k but fine with getting rid of the gay feels threads and the sissy cuckholding threads also not all non whites are normies
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>>38606280
Fuck off back to your safe space. Traps are welcome here.
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>>38606280
>shitskins can't be robots

to the contrary, my white friend. we have it worse than you guys.

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It's another Anon gets hit by waves of depression that kills his mood episode
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38606277
I feel ya.

It's even more painful when you have nothing to escape it.
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>it's another anon can't sleep, eat or feel right episode
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Just do drugs and listen to edgy music until you eventually lose everyone and everything you love and then OD and die just as miserably as you lived. That's my plan anyway.

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ITT draw a pikachu from memory

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikh61capNrE
21 posts and 14 images submitted.
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>>38606220
originalialydoodily
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>>38606220
Fuck these "vlog animation" channels. They're just cunts who want people to gratify them though watching exaggerations of their "interesting" lives turned into bland cartoons. It's almost as bad as reality TV.
>>
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pika pika CHUUUUUUOHHSeNPAI

guys here think they have it bad but girls are just as desperate and depressed. Most girls are sex deprived, lonely, and insecure. They're not unattainable stop acting like they. They're also not a solution to your loneliness. We weak and can't save you.
69 posts and 6 images submitted.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sure, there are lonely women, but not as many as men. It's a fact that women are more desired than men and that women find the majority of men below average, while men rate women on a bell curved shape.
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>>38606178
>Most girls are sex deprived, lonely, and insecure. Only because girls are retarded animals. If you had any actual intelligence, you would see that your opportunities to not be deprived, lonely and insecure are million fold. guys don't care about your insecurities. stop being retarded is literally all you have to do to be happy. female privilege is being retarded and still having most of your kind finding happiness. astounding.
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>>38606247
>oh and excuse the grammar
again, retarded.
R E T A R D E D
this is /r9k/ and not your honor's thesis
you don't get karma here attached to your quirky username.
there is no point in being concerned about trivial shit.

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Really needing a feels thread tonight

>uni orientation today
>make us do a variety of activities to "get to know each other"
>I feel completely distant from everyone
>Usually stand off to the side and watch whatever is going on
>In the event that someone says anything to me I fumble over my words
>Constantly feel like everyone is looking at me and judging me for being shy and awkward
>After a long day of one social disaster after another I go to my dorm for the night
>Two person dorm and two people are already in my dorm
>One of them is my roomate, he introduces himself
>His name is literally Chad
>Other guy is Chad's friend
>Chad's friend tells me that he came over here because his roommate is awkward and didn't say a word to him
>I fake laugh and go to my bed, Chad's friend leaves shortly after
>Chad just left without saying a word after we both sat on our beds in silence for 15 minutes

It's gonna be a long year, lads
32 posts and 6 images submitted.
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Just pretend you smoke so much weed you're kind of out of it most of the time. Kind of worked for me
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I'll post what I have, or until I get bored.

Let's start it off with one that we've all seen.
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>>38606199
A bit more obscure, but less relatable. Still gets those feels pumping.


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