Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7960. page

>>35618961
>have to force myself to fap twice a week so I don't lose my ability to produce semen

>>35619026
You won't lose the ability to produce semen if you don't fap, that's not how it works

>>35618961
>tfw you can cum 8 times in an hour and barely spill a single drop

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>>35618950
She is so brave and so beautiful!!!

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look closely. you can see it

>>35618950

Cool story bru, while I'm solving eigenwertproblems this cuck will get cheated by his already fucked up wife. This is the justice you needy faggots deserve, while I'm working on my future to become part of the chosen few you all will procreate new cattle for our tyrannical regime.

>>35618926
don't eat as much
do cardio

>>35618926
Literally just don't eat you fucking retard. I don't know why dumbfats and skinnytards act so fucking aloof as to how weight gain/loss works.

>EAT MORE:WEIGH MORE::EAT LESS:WEIGH LESS

>>35618926
Try to punch a hole into your stomach. Don't go to the doctor or anything, just go to your kitchen, take a knife and just open a hole, and just by magic you'll be able to eat all you want while losing weight.
Incredible, I know, I did the same, trust me, it works.

>>35618852
at least tell me u put a towel under your ass so ur bed isnt all sweaty while u fap

>>35618877
>sweating while fapping

>>35618897
you are a casual

OP gotta change it up

non dominant hand at the desk in the chair with a lot of lotion

damn, kids were /fa/ as fuck back then. id give anything for this aesthetic.

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>>35618860
>being this much of an irredeemable faggot

>>35618771
We'd be worse off. Bullies were seriously fucked up in the old days. Chad was an absolute dick in ways you can't imagin

>>35618754
Get mum to do it.
The secret to having good keedz is getting grammy and grampy in on it as free daycare.
Then you take over some time after early teens when you're not a retard and nan is getting a bit tired.

>Are there any parents on this board?
Yeah
>If so tell us how you became one.
Had sex.
>Also as a general question if you had a child, how would you raise it?
I'm just now heading into the "terrible twos", so I'm trying encourage him by what seems to interest him and nuture these early interests. Try to keep him active, I'm actually waiting for next round of toddler tumbling classes to get him into that. Probably in another year to year and half I'd like see if he would want to start learning an instrument.

>>35618754
what the fuck is that image
originjalalakska

I think the end result is the same, but the whole process is much more enjoyable with someone you love.

do you have link to that video?

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>>35618736
if they love you back too then yeah sure it must feel fucking great but overall you still have to deal with all the drama, emotions, attitudes and her psycho bitch attitude if she has one.

Not really worth all the trouble if you ask me. Just buy a fleshlight and warm that shit up. Feels about the same but without the female bullshit.

>>35618714
Post your booty and I'll consider it.

>>35618714
Beta orbiters are overrated find a bf. Way more fulfilling than orbiters

>t. bf ate me out 5 minutes ago

>>35618742
But with orbiters you get free shit and validation without needing to put out.

>be me, 17, f, bimbo
>have seizure
>drs find growth in my brain, needs to be removed
>have it removed but have my facial nerve is cut in the process suffer partial facial paralysis as a result
>fall into deep depression and too ashamed by my ugliness to leave the house
>do nothing but eat, sleep, shit, and watch kino for 5 years
>gain over 150lbs
>ugly, stupid, and now fat
>want to die, too weak minded to do it myself
>its illegal for someone to kill me

my 32 year old brother im 22 sneaked some bitch into the house to fuck her
told mom about it and next time this happens ill ruin their fun

I feel like my life is falling apart.

I'm studying for an A+ Certification because I anticipated my family moving to a new state in the south but they just told me we can't afford any house because our budget is 250-300k and no home in "an area where everything is happening" is that price. They're like 400k+ if not more.

So now, I'm stuck in this shithole of a state. All the jobs are 2 hours away and it costs me nearly 500 a month just to get to work every single day due to bus/subway fares.

I hate my industry so much and I suck so bad at it. I hate marketing. I'm not creative. I can't work in an all-female environment anymore. It drives me mad.

I have no friends either. Nobody ever responds to me anymore.

>>35618699

Can you really blame them?

Are you ignoring the fact /r9k/ has been getting spammed by SJW's like crazy these past few weeks?

>tfw I actually agree with /pol/ once
I'm so sick of all the trannies on /r9k/, they are legitmately worse attention whores """fembots"""

>that femanon with a fetish for cute guys sneezing

>that femanon that has to reply to every orbiter in their thread

>that serbian femanon

>>35618653
holy shit anon, is the guy alright? id not leave my room for weeks if that happened

>>35618653
>fell over a banana skin in highschool once
>pretty much like in the cartoons

i never really lived that down

>>35618653
>be 15
>youngest in class, so everybody else is 16 and drinking
>get invited to barbecue
>only a few friends
>we have strawberry prosecco, tastes amazing
>barbecue takes some time, I am hungry
>prosecco tastes amazing, drink one bottle by myself
>get into fight after friend punches me in the balls, ree the fuck oit and punch him in the back
>tell people everything they do not want to hear about my "love life"
the rest I only know from being told
>totalmad.jpeg
>run around chasing people, making them afraid
>they convince me to strip, which I do
>somehow, In my boxers I get the idea I need to get off
>idea.webm
>grab cake and push it into my pants, yelling it is the best lube ever
>grap ketchup
>finish in my boxers
I did not even have a hangover, but this pretty much ended my friendship with these people for years
worst thing is I don't remember anything but the moment I cum in my boxers with cake and ketchup on my dick with several girls and guys watching

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>>35618638
tell them to shut the fuck up and that you're trying to sleep.

that or you can play hentai or porn really fucking loud.

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Try and snap a photo of them doing it.
i promise you it can be amazing materiel to blackmail/get away with something/anything you fucking want.
i promise you won't regret it later on.

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>>35618638
there's only one option anon: become an hero

>>35618630
I would erase a few dreams that I have had

>>35618676
I've never had a wet dream cause I masturbate 5 times a day what's wrong with them?

>>35618676
What was so bad about them?

ofogog

>>35618618
It's fun

Original post desu senpai

>>35618618
If I knew girls I'd suck girl dicks but I don't.

Bible only says no sodomy.

>>35618618
Liking traps isn't gay though