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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5686. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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Guys what is this on my ass it's really uncomfortable
27 posts and 4 images submitted.
there's someone out there that has a fetish for that and wants to cum on it
Guessing an external hemorrhoid. I'm not a doctor though. Go see one, no need to be embarrassed they deal with prolapses and fissures all the time.
It's hemorrhoids (stage 1 or so).

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/pol/ here why haven't you lazy fucks got off your fat asses and got a job yet?
9 posts and 3 images submitted.
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I do have a job you smug fuck
Still in fucking highschool. trying not to become a steel worker
Affirmative action will encourage store owners to hire anyone but me. Plus I have no marketable skills above anyone else. Every Job I that i got interviewed for would interfere with my school schedule.

>"Do you mind telling me why I shouldn't fire you when you're clearly losing your hair?"

wat do
9 posts and 4 images submitted.
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Because I'll take your ass to court and get fuckhueg settlements for an illegal termination of contract.
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Hello union help and really fuckhueg settlements. Ain't gonna have to work in a few years.
..Where'd my post go?
Fucking baldies!

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>sup bro

How the fuck do you even respond to this? Is it a greeting? Should I say hello back, or are you supposed to just say "nothing" like you're a boring loser.
16 posts and 2 images submitted.
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howdy, hey, or hi. out of nicety
"Hey wassup"
My go to gretting is always "Hey". Its simple, casual, and works.

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*orbits your butt*
118 posts and 13 images submitted.
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post more pictures of ass-eating
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>a femanon will never make me her butteating slave
Yeah, but pic is actual oral sex, and oral sex is not a beta move.

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I have a math exam tomorrow. If I fail, I'll become a hero.
15 posts and 4 images submitted.
On what subject?
>be me
>bout to graduate in Mech E
>literally one exam tomorrow
>worth 40% of my grade
>not doing so hot in the class so far
>professor asked me to go to his office hours every day last week
>only go 2 days
>skip the last 3
>each time say, i havent started studying yet
>exam in 16 hours
>barely even studied practice materials

fuck me if i dont get my degree because of this shit

in my defense ive been depressed as hell this semester
Depression is a bitch, and so is the eduacation system for not showing mercy upon people whom depression constraints them from doing well in school. Oh well, dust yourself off and try again anon, if it goes to shit.

guys wtf is this shit in my dryer in the crack between the door??? it looks like an fucking big ass bug idk. or is it nothing?? im scared 2 death tbqh
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
I'm not sure what that is, but it's clearly nothing that is a threat to you.

Chill the fuck out homeboy.
it's a fucking beetle and its a trap clearly taped there for the next person to use it (me). probably poisonous or extremely aggressive
guys what happens if i turn on the drier and there is nothing in it

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This is what's going on.
>a year ago when I was in my junior year of high school.
>Bulky, fat with muscle.
>Only 5'9" tho.
>Girls were interested in me, they would ask how much I could lift and cop feels.
>One random girl in class seated next to me exclaimed "nice arms! Oh haha I didn't mean it in like a, flirty way or anything"
>Two random girls asked me for my number.
>Nerdy girl wanted confront a strict teacher so she randomly asked me to go with her.
>Had a few gf, damn near had a minaj with a couple of bi girls.
Next year.
>Senior year
>Dropped 40lbs to get cut.
>Bulked up a little to regain lost muscle.
>Bigger, stronger and leaner than I had ever been.
>Face and jawline more defined.
>No more mires.
>Girls switch seats if I am next to them.
>People give me attitudes.
>Got in a fight last week after a robot was talking shit about me.
>Guys whisper "steroids" when I walk by.
>Only people who respect me now are Chads.
>Loner now
>Night terrors to the point I nearly attacked my sleeping brother.
>Violent thoughts randomly appear in my head.
>Normie at school tells me I scare people.
>Girls talk shit about me, making fun of how I am a loner loser with no friends.
>Held door for girl, she shakes her head and walks through the other door.
>Spent 18th birthday by myself lifting/playing vidya, no one besides family knew it was my birthday.
Why in the fuck did I become a loser/outcast after getting more /fit/?
26 posts and 5 images submitted.
It's weird anon. Probably girls find you threatening. It will pass. Keep lifting
Well clearly they're intimidated by you.
The ascent to normie-hood is an unforgiving one

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Lost virginity yesterday, at 25.
There is still hope brothers
ask me anything
21 posts and 3 images submitted.
Yeh I have a question.
Why are you still here you fucking normie scum?
That's what I wanted to ask
Congrats, how did she look like and how did you pull it off .

Who else is drunk as fuck here?
18 posts and 5 images submitted.
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all weekends drunk
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I hate drinking, but I'm on some dank chill pills debating whether i should spice shit up with some Jim Beam I got laying around
Half a bottle of gin

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Young men are playing video games instead of getting jobs

12 posts and 3 images submitted.
Nice get my NEETfriend but this is old news
>Rocket League
>Pokemon GO

Sounds like a typical normie to me
So escapism , it's pretty much going to fuck them up when they grow older and can't find full time jobs . Then again many man & woman who go to college and study the right things also end up unemployed ,and never get a job in their area of study .

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>be me yesterday
>trying to open an interdimensional nexus to bring demons into our world to destroy it
>grab dog to use as a sacrifice
>he starts barking
>mom runs into the room and sees me hunched over the floor holding a knife to my dogs neck
>she's threatening to kick me out if I don't go to a psychiatrist
I actually need your guys' help with this one
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
The sad part is that you retards will actually fall for this bait

God I hate this board

Show us some proof of your demons first. Also, even if that was true, why the fuck should we help you? You basically want to kill us all.
you have to use a goat or pig you fucking retard. dogs dont work.

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i hate crying everyday.
cant control it
it hurts
30 posts and 10 images submitted.
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Why're you weeping to begin with OP?
Eventually you won't be able to anymore.
my family is abusive to me all the time. i havent moved out yet.
and ive been starving a lot to distract myself.
my one friend left me and was egging me on to commit suicide with his other friends
I dont know if i should do it or not. maybe theres a chance i could be friends with him again dunno.
but for now im gonna try to avoid more panic attacks by talking to people on 4chan

>tfw I'm a sweaty, hairy fuck
7 posts and 3 images submitted.
Mmm post your sweaty hairy balls you beautiful bitch.
Sounds kinda hot but what are you a ferret?
What are you? A black person?

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Doing MDMA for the first time tomorrow at home alone

Any tips on what I should keep myself busy with?
24 posts and 1 images submitted.
you'll want to jerk off but your dick isnt going to work
anything else ?!
I did it alone the first time and it was the best day of my life.
my tips are:
1. take the correct dose
2. stomach empty
3. have some water to drink
4. put loud and electronic music
5. when the trip is over you can eat

it was the happiest day of my life didnt think about fapping

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