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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1079. page

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>eat a lot of sweets
>suddenly feel very sleepy
Good night robots
11 posts and 4 images submitted.
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Enjoy your diabetic coma, friend.
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>>38964300
Don't forget to brush your teeth!
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>his mom finally poisoned him to put him out of his misery
rest in piece OP, rest in piece

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Welcome to the rest of your life after leaving school.
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>implying i even get an office
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>>38964277
If you are lucky.

Try working in a shitty retail store or hospitality. Full of bitchy normalfags and the work is something I dont even care about.
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>>38964277
lol many people literally wish for this

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Sup robots
I just took some shrooms solo and im just listening to some music. any tips n tricks i should do while mildy on shrooms?

Also: general shroom thread
6 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38964271
Don't look outside of your windows.
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if you have a popcorn ceiling, that shit is based when you're on shrooms. it's also very toxic and completely unnecessary
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Lie under a tree until the dirt and vines consume you and you become one with mother earth

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>will never be with chad because he only wants blonde white stacies
>will never have a robot even think of loving me because they hate black people let alone black girls
>robots prefer pale dark haired cute fembots
>literally at the bottom of everyone's list
>not accepted here at all because most people on here dislike black people
>even if i had a chance with a nice robot a cuter white fembot would always win
>the black chads don't care for me because I'm not ghetto and thicc
>completely normal, not a hoodrat, been called "pretty for a black girl" but it doesn't even matter because im always reminded that the world has ranked me as the most undesirable type of person on the planet


I wish I could just press a button and make race something that no one cared about, I really can't do this anymore.
81 posts and 18 images submitted.
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>thread flops

it was worth a try
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>>38964266
black women outside of 4chan are literally circlejerked into oblivion, you piece of shit. Date some white guilt Chad, there's a shit ton of them out there.
>>
Post yourself on soc and link it here

>tfw no guy will ever take off his large dirty work boots and make me smell his stinky feet
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38964231
If that's all you want I could do it for you. My socks are wet and I have callouses that you could spark a match stick on
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>>38964267
>callouses that you could spark a match stick on

whats your job robot ?
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>>38964231
Those are some worn out boots. Hot.

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Hey /r9k/, thought I'd ask an amateur cooking question here as it is the random board, and /ck/ gets angry when people post threads like this.

Anyway, I realised my entire family is going to be out today, and I'm pretty hungry, so I might try to fry an egg and cook some bacon for breakfast today.

How do I cook an egg "over-hard" ? I don't eat the yolks runny (I know this is the "pleb" way or whatever but I don't even really eat eggs, want to work my way up slowly) and how do I fry bacon so it's crispy and not soft and floppy?

What oil do I use? Does it matter? Is it like the ol' saying goes, there's more than one way to skin a cat?
17 posts and 5 images submitted.
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Please help me /r9k/ this is a chance to teach myself how to cook a nice simple breakfast but I just need some help
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>>38964370
Please /r9k/ my stomach hurts right now and I don't trust Google
>>
just cook the eggs using the grease from your bacon, the yolks will get less runny the longer you cook them. remember to flip them and you'll be good

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>Liberals have no understanding of history, geopolitics, economics or world culture but will call you an ignorant redneck
71 posts and 18 images submitted.
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>giving a rat's ass about politics
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>>38964202
>rat's ass
>>
>he thinks reading /pol/ gives him an understanding of history, geopolitics, economics and world culture
Guess what? You're an ignorant redneck.

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>walk into your room
>see this cutie
wat do you do?
10 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38964105
kick him as hard as I can in his faggot fairy balls and beat the shit out of him until he leaves
>>
>>38964227
nah senpai those are some masculine balls
>>
Get my 1911 and shoot the home invader.

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>Mfw I just masturbated to my crush burping over the phone

What's the most degenerate thing you've ever done, /r9k/?
32 posts and 6 images submitted.
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Jerking off while my cousin talked to me over skype
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>>38964091
I poked a q tip up my dog's arse once. It's dead now so who cares.
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I fapped and came while my best friend (female) laid asleep next to me

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Is this real? I can't find the post on faceberg.
13 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38964086
Try archiving a vice article.
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>>38964086
its obviously fake dumbass who even cares what they do anyways
>>
yes
try archiving one of their pages you dip
http://archive.is/gFAjd

>He still thinks height is a reason for being a weak kissless virgin

No excuses, /r9cucks/.

Pic related, 5 foot 9.
14 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38964043
5.9 was the average 4 years ago you retard
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>>38964505
Yea for America thanks to the spics. It's 5"11 for white Americans.
Mcgregor is rich and good looking so it makes up for his height OP
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He's also a millionaire UFC fighter you cuck, that might also be a big reasons why he gets the fuck

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>she has "memes" in her Tinder bio
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38964024
people who use the word meme in a real life conversation are normies in denial
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>>38964076
They're not even in denial. They're just flat out normalfaggots.
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>>38964141
usually they are in denial because they think they're somehow different because they watch filthy frank and h3h3

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>ask dad to buy me some canned WHITE tuna for lunch sandwiches
>he buys a 24-pack of LIGHT tuna
>I mention this mistake to him just in a casual, non-aggressive way
>he goes off on a big tirade, calls me out for being NEET and worthless
>this is happening while I'm making a tuna sandwich
>start getting really mad and upset
>he keeps talking about the tuna and how ungrateful I am
>I scoop out a big lump of tuna and throw it at him
>he stands there looking at me like he's about to kill me
>fire and fury in his eyes
>I throw the plate on the ground, it shatters
>run out the door and get on my bicycle
>pedaling really hard
>hit a patch of gritty dirt on the sidewalk, my bike slids and I fall off
>hit my ankle really hard on the pavement, sprained it
>the only person I can call for help is my dad
>I call him and tell him where i am
>says he's on his way, hangs up
>i see his car approaching me
>the car slows down and he rolls down his window
>he just looks at me
>I'm sprawled out on the sidewalk, holding my ankle
>the only thing he says is "you're 21"
>rolls up his window
>drives off
>I have to limp back home on my own, leaving my bike behind, probably stolen by now

this is the darkest day of my life
13 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38963995
lol

oregami oregano
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What a fucking worthless loser LMAO
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>>38964226
Amen to that. OP gets assmad over different kinds of tuna and sprains his ankle. What an irreconcilable dweeb.

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Who here /dangerousfetishes/
I'm obsessed with size difference and being skinnier than girls. I love the glowing feeling you get from long periods of not eating. I'm 142 right now but I want to be at most 120, maybe less.
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38963977
>thismakesmewet.jpg
>wet
OP confirmed for girl.
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>>38963977
post sauce right fucking now
and she better fucking sits on his puny face or else......
>>
I want to be choked out by that big girl. Too bad height doesn't equate to strength.

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Hey borgs

I'm in a point of my life where I feel like everything is going right.
I have a good job, my own apartment and a nice car.
I even have some good friends that I hang out with.

My problem is that I for the life of me can't get a girlfriend.
I can interact with girls, but no further than that. I simply don't know what to do.

I keep up the facade at work that I just came out of a relationship before starting there. That seems to keep the "why aren't you seeing anyone" questions at bay, but one can only do that for so long before people get suspicious.

What do?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Just be yourself anon

If you're supposed to be with someone, then she will show up
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>>38964216
Well shit

Guess I'll just change job when they get on to me
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>>38964321
Are you serious? No need to make stories up to explain why you don't have a gf. You care too much about what other people think. Maybe stop caring a little and girls will be more attracted to you


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