Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 191. page

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>23
>fat
>ugly
>manlet
>sit on pc all day and never go out

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>>39566197
>wake up in middle of the afternoon
>sit behinde a computer all day shit posting and doing mind numbing shit all day everyday of the month
>go to bed at 4 to 5 in the morning
>repeat

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>squat on the toilet while shitting

have you even watched that epic trailer, bro?

>>39566194

>Bungie
>Halo/console Normies love it
>le ebin trailer

>>39566194
I only played the first one, this one is just a big ass expansion pack to me, the voice acting and story is generic and cringy

([their age] - 16) * 73

>>39566305
I am a math major this is correct.

Chanel Preston. Nice taste.
To answer your question, no less than 30-40 times. Double if in black neighbourhood

>>39566088
I mean, there's worse to be "stuck" on. Even if their tits are mostly flab at least they're still big

When I see a fat girl I feel an instinctual need to cut open her stomach and squish the visceral fat around in my hands.

>>39566150
visceral? or subcutaneous?

I've never understood how someone can get off through fucking a pillow. Not judging, but is there a certain way you fold it or do have you put something inside it?

>>39566373
>Not judging
thank god I thought I was being judged on an anonymous imageboard, I'm literally shaking.

>I've never understood how someone can get off through fucking a pillow.
the pillows stimulates your dick similarly to how your hands stimulate yours when you masturbate, only that it's the pillow (from below) and your body (from above).

>but is there a certain way you fold it or do have you put something inside it?
The pillow has to be within a comfortable range of softness, you put your dick on top and hump it. I tried folding once but it didn't work out, the pillow unfolded as I humped.

>>39566077
Just beat my dick for around 7 fucking hours. I was supposed to be doing nofap.

Nutting wasnt even good. Now my dick is sore and i already have some sort of numbness in my urethra to begin with, im pretty sure im addicted to porn or something, i downloaded at least 100 pics bc i keep getting carried away.

Also i got drunk and layed the beatdown on my stepdads pc because i dont like him, he dosent use it but hes going to have a bird if he finds out

I also emptied my badder down the stairway

I need to really get my shit together bc its getting way to out of control

Im really not fucking thrilled with myself atm

Living the dream black man.

>>39566070
this actually made my heart flutter

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>tfw no black man to use me and feminize me

Nice bait faggot. I only come on here to laugh at fake stories like this.

>>39566055
Sort of yes? I'm a cyborg 18 yr old virgin (but Ive had gfs) and a lot of the reason I browse here is to laugh at others more pathetic than myself.
Also robot humor is more appealing to me than normie humor.

>>39566127
Not sure what you think is fake about this. Is a normal life so estranged from you that it seems almost unreal?
>>39566131
This guys gets it.

>>39566022
>Has anyone here ever gotten a GF from those stupid ideal partner threads?
Yes

>>39566041
He means a gf (female) not a gf (male).

>>39566022
Those threads are populated by normalfags
pretending to be robots and trannies.

Lemmme get uhhhhh shameless self bump

>>39566011
>how do i go about asking her out?
Go after class and ask her out when there are no people around.

The thing people don't understand about making friends and getting girlfriends is this.
Just fucking ask them. Its as easy as asking her if she would like to go to a cafe or get something to eat with you. After class just ask her.

>Pic related. My black gf in my bed.
why are you lying?

I'd rather cuddle with the dog

t. black guy

Black girls dont like me either lol
Also theyre used to nigger dicks and I dont want to fucking a gaping hole.

I would advise you to go to a therapist

>>39565982
post one of the photoshopped photos of yourself

on imgur so mods dont ban you

>>39566007
Mr. Bond here is right. See a therapist. They can work wonders.

Or watch Hannibal. One of the arcs has a guy that's kinda like you.

If you were a cute anime girl with red hair then yes. Or just dye your hair red. I like that.

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>>39565970
No
Who else would you be asking for?
Why don't you kill yourself?

>>39566018
go away normie
*shoots you*

>>39565940
>has BSc and going for masters
>never worked once
Does that include internships? If so you're fucked.
What major, btw?

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>>39565940
>had a whole bunch of interviews this summer with getting called back for 2nd and 3rd interviews
>still no dice
>interviews quickly died out since August
>too educated/experienced to get a hourly slave job
I'm approaching the 6 month death mark for job hunting and nothing is going right. Especially after my retarded younger brother got a great job right after he got his bachelor's. My parents are even talking about kicking me out since "I'm not trying hard enough"

>>39565976

Not even interships. I actually applied to some but I am always rejected nonetheless.

management information systems

>>39565933
we weren't just friends all those times I fixed your car and paid for lunch, weren't we bitch?
fine, get the fuck out of my sight.

What's the best way for a girl to turn down a male friend if they ever get asked out?

And by best, obviously meaning the least cuntish way.

>>39565933
*cut all forms of contact*

>>39565908
post her fucking face, faggot

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>>39565925
Uh oh! Should I go

>>39565948
If you wanna get raped, then yes