Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2110. page

>>38513817
Youre supposed to jack off to anime, not take it seriously. Fucking idiot

>>38514182
>anime
I can't go through life treating everything as porn anon

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>>38513817
In all honesty, how would you rate yourself in terms of looks? And are you currently enrolled in school or work?

here's an original
>be me
>4th grader in elementary school
>my black friend tells me that he wants to hump this one girl that my group knows
>she's a huge bitch and snitches on us for all sorts of shit
>tell friend group about how my friend wants to smash the one girl
>"dude we gotta tell her"
>4-5 of my douchebag elementary friends start speed walking over to her
>fuck.jpg
>stop them
>turn to them and say "dont tell her that was me who said that"
>what i meant was "don't tell her that i told you guys about my black friend tryna smash"
>they thought i meant "don't tell her it was me who wanted to hump tf out of her"
>had to wait a whole year to clear up the whole situation after my friend left the school in 5th grade
>ended up seeing her at my middle school for a year or two

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>>38513805
>be me
>be trump supporter
>go to a trump rally
>"desu trump?" i moan into his ear
>He shoots back a look of anger and surprise
>ohno.jpeg
>He kickswipes me
>I fall to my feet
>he kicks me multiple times in the chest
>he grabs me by the scruff of the neck
>he upper cuts me and pushes me to his sons
>one of them grabs a chair and hits me on the head
>the other one that looks like a humanoid mole body slams me
>my nose is bleeding profusely
>they pull out a crowbar
>fuck.png
>djt calls them off
>i run home
>masturbate

>be me
>working, as usual
>come home as usual
>come into my bedroom and theres 4 fucking chicks waiting with an orgy for me
>im actually a virgin, but fuck like chad i just found this out
>actually headbanging 4 of them right now
lol, feels good to be robot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9g-vyrGKGWM

Elliott Smith is perfect music if you're fucked in the head. 2 of my friends killed themselves listening to him.

>>38513797
Wahahaahahhahahaha anon! Holy fuck anon! I'm high as FUCK right now holy shit tutti fruition I'm in a fucking high ass condition! Man you gotta get high and jack off! You ever do that???

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDWEz1mia1I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQSqQkMwDik

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Pp9DC56hh8&t=7s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQR6tGNwzzE&t=13s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5PG7aRYS1k

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4j4xk_MM3c

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-VmiLA3nqg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBJfHuyGpsI

I'm missing some but this is what I got off the top of my head

Oh so now you're scraping for $60 instead of 10k savings accounts?

>>38513740
>investing in Bitcoin

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>38513830
>not investing in Bitcoin

4 years ago you could have invested pocket change and now you'd be a millionaire

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Careful anon, bitching and moaning about robots only makes you worse then them.

>>38409519
I've dealt with this my whole life, I thought I was the only one

fugg, there are others like me?

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>its an imagining the wonders and sorrow trees have seen ep

>space trees
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QefqJ7YhbWQ

i'd give life an actual purpose that everybody knows about.

>>38513733
I'd probably make some cool shit, because I'd want to make reality a little more interesting for my universe

I'd tell everyone that all of their religions are wrong then go fuck off doing cool God shit for a while on another planet.

>>38409472
>meet guy i used to know randomly in street
>legit first think he asks me is if i'm still a virgin
>lie and try to change the subject

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>There are alternate timeless/universes where the Internet flopped commercially and was shut down back in the 1990's

>>38409472
funny how the brain only remembers the good, eh?

Shit shit shit what if it's something serious ?
>internal bleeding
>kidney failure

>>38513719
You got diarrhea you fool. If it were alcohol-related, you'd be in massive pain in the upper stomach/below the chest.

Stop drinking though, it's making you into a mindless addict.

>>38513719
I always have the worst shits ever the morning after a night of drinking, pretty much like you described it but they're sometimes fucking brutal.
One of the reasons I don't get shitfaced more than once every 3 months or so.
Getting that checked out couldn't hurt tho.

>>38409453
>I have a beautiful Gf
GTFO normie

>>38409453
>I just cheat on her so I can feel like I'm with her
did you born with your penis in a vagina?

>>38513711
Same, now I feel as I could my dick in anyone

>>38513711
What is that image supposed to mean?

>>38513711
>Not fully shaved

Fucking faggots, at least learn how to be a faggot properly. Lazy fuck

i can show you my disgusting fat naked body and small penis and you'll want a vagina

Fap to dick girls, than you'll be straight

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>>38409505
>I've seen and fapped to this video before
I cannot be saved

justice for shitchomper

>>38513675
> Why do people look down on us?

> WOMAN NO LOVE U! RED PILL ME BURH. FOOK SLOOTS.

I wonder why?...

On another note, it's not that horrible of a thing at the end of the day, and it's probably more acceptable now than it has been in the last 8 or 9 decades. Just don't be a retard about it.

>>38513675
Because it means they can't attract a female on their own. Even fat, poor, and ugly guys can get females, so when you can't even do that people look down on you.

If hookers weren't so fucking expensive I wouldnt look down on you. I mean $150 for a blowjob that's only like 20 minutes? Come on man that's just not worth it.

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WHATS WRONG OP

DONT LIKE ANIME?

WELL YOURE GAY HAHAHJJEHEHEH