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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2859. page

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/britfeels/ and hug your sister threads don't belong here.
78 posts and 6 images submitted.
This board is for greentext stories. Almost nothing here "belongs" here. Hug your sister threads are made to have greentext stories posted in them, so they are acceptable.
If only there was a filter function so you would never have to see them, ever
If only there were a filter function so we would never have to see OP again.

Who else here /eat like a king/?
25 posts and 4 images submitted.
What are those? cooked dog testicles?

guess how i know you're poor? :^)
>tfw there's a fig tree with overhanging branches bearing fruit in my neighborhood
>always pass by it on my walks
>the unpicked fruits literally just drop onto the sidewalk and people step on them and it creates a bunch of fig-stains on the sidewalk
>tempted to go and pick a couple one night on a /nightwalk/
Should I? Would it be bad etiquette?

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she is so cute, i wish i had a qt depressive gf like her

somebody knows why is she in the hospital
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
Heroin od hopefully
Bump for interest


Dont bump this utter >>>/trash/ tier post you fucking piece of shit
This is why this board is shit is because of stupid beta orbiting chumps like you
PLease leave
Go anywhere but here
these are the retard boards, post there

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>shave neckbeard
>get haircut
>look like a baby
14 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>get haircut
>ask for it slightly different than usual
>look at it when she's done
>Looks exactly the same

Fuck it, I'm going to a professional, expensive barber next time. Tired of my shitty hair
>shave beard
You fucked up. You trim it. Not shave it. Use a buzzer so it leaves a slightly noticeable stubble.
>get haircut
I hope its not a buzzcut.
>look like a baby
Proper hair and a beard stubble, and you wont.
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>shave beard
>cabal of chins unleashed

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How do I open this? It won't come undone and is twisted on top awkwardly.
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
Use more power you pathetic baby weakling
You cross-threaded it when you put the lid on, dumbass
stick it up your ass. that won't do anything but at least you stuck it up your ass.

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Have you ever wanted to take your life over a girl
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
I have yes but that would have given her too much power
Yes. Glad I didn't
Its so fucking stupid to even think about that and thats not coming from a woman hating neet

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>take my big collection of Donald Duck (magazine with disney comics and cool stuff) from attic to relive some childhood memories
>read and feel comfy
>then find one issue I don't remember
>look at a cover
>it's from fucking 2013
>I stopped buying it in 2007, when I simply got too old

I checked it and it's a legit issue that was actually published, but it doesn't have right to be there

Collection was in a box taped years ago, under other stuff in attic

I am fucking spooked guys, should I burn it or something?
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
Are these books in your parents' house? They bought one and put it with your collection.
Post proof.

Don't burn it

Are you sure you didn't receive that issue as a gift or something

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>people in positions of power rape children = nobody cares
>I do it = I get in trouble
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
>try to stop a billionaire who has armed gaurds
>try to stop 25 y/o neckbeard in his mothers basement

Which would you prefer to personally stop?
With power comes privilege, you go become a billionare and you can diddle as many kiddies as you want over in Bohemian Grove with the other cool dudes.
>poopoo in toilet bowl nobody bat eyelid
>poopoo in street everybody lose mind

>tfw you'll never be a quarterback in love with a young beautiful cheerleader
>you'll never be 17 and be your schools alpha jock
>you'll never make your parents as proud as he does

Why live
25 posts and 4 images submitted.
>tfw you'll never invent cold fusion
>you'll never be on your deathbed and actually learned things
>you'll never become a famous name like einstein

Why live
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>You'll never make the game winning throw at the home game then go to an after party with all your teammates and the cheerleading squad where everyone gives you free drinks
>You'll never fuck your qt cheerleader girlfriend on prom night after you both win king and queen respectively
>You'll never dap up every other person in the hallway in between classes because everyone knows who you are
he's pretty cute desu

also rugby>"football"

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Do you miss the early and mid 2000s (pre-2007)?
23 posts and 3 images submitted.
What is your obsession with the 2000s? I miss the late 90s and the early 2000s up until about 2004, which is basically the 3rd half of the 90s.
I miss enjoying animu thats about it.
Yeah. I wish I could go back.

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>Her family says Madison was in the bathtub and grabbed her phone that was plugged into a charger in a bathroom outlet.

>"She was very smart, a very good student in school. She just loved life," O'Guinn said.

27 posts and 2 images submitted.
>She was very smart
>didn't know that having electronic devices near a bath is a bad idea

>very smart
>does this
She really wasn't that smart.
>"She was very smart..."
Not smart enough, it seems.

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Im so sick of being lonely guys, why couldn't I have been born chad and get girls hanging off my cock every day? Its not fucking fair. I've heard that girls in the Philippines worship whites even the fat and ugly ones. Are Filipinas my only chance at being chad? I don't care if they would only want me for my money or citizenship. I just want a qt wife to come home to and cuddle.
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
Filipinas do not look like that pic, Opie. Most Filipinas are ugly as sin.
I'll bring back a cutie not a goblin anon. I'll bait her with citizenship and money and she'll love me for saving her from her hellhole and bringing her to civilization
She will want to sit home and do nothing while you bring home the cabbage, anon. That's how it works over there if you're hot. Remember, if she's pretty, she can marry a rich guy back home and come to the USA anytime she wants, only poor girls want to get out. It's great to be rich in the Philippines, it sucks to be poor.

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>finish masturbating
>Can't stop grinning
7 posts and 4 images submitted.
I wish I had weed right now anon
>finish masturbating
>can't stop crying


That'd be a good caption.

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Why do they make part time jobs so easy to get in anime? I've been applying to 100s of places and still no luck.
21 posts and 5 images submitted.
Anime is bourgeoisie propaganda
Are you in japan and speak japanese fluently?
One year
You'll find it
Save up
Then move out
Then live a horribly depressive life
Living on one meal a day
Just so you can get by on min wage
With the internet being your only source of entertainment
It's a life for you
It's a life for me

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Okay, which one of you faggots is this guy?

31 posts and 6 images submitted.
Thank god I have more self awareness than this poor fuck

How is he even real, who or what is providing him with life advice?
@1:03 why the fuck is the music in the background sims 3 music wwwwwwwwwwwwwww
To be honest I would fuck him senseless. He isn't super fugly and seems nice, like he would cherish the memory forever.

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