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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1473. page

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Please explain to me RIGHT NOW why you don't wageslave grind for a few years and then have Chad surgery. Surely beats rotting away with no objective in life. Even wageslaving isn't so bad if you have something to look forwards to. Think how it would feel to have a gf, to have people automatically like you when they meet you, to be able to get friends and jobs much easier...
18 posts and 3 images submitted.
a strong jaw doesn't make you chad
that is some crazy surgery lol...
Surgery doesn't fix turbo autism. If you have a Chad personality but you look like the guy on the left, then wageslaving for jaw surgery would be a good option if getting laid is important to you.

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>Ehhh chief, back again this week? Let me guess, portion of chicken balls?
>"H-Ha ha yeah, please"
>Never go back there ever again

Fucking normies don't know their place
23 posts and 9 images submitted.
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>at tim hortons, sitting down slouched over phone with earbuds in
>lady with clipboard starts trying to fucking talk to me
>don't even register what she's saying but I assume she wants money or for me to join some shitty organization
>keep on saying I'm not interested
>asks what my "background" is I assume to pull me into her inane conversation
>say I'm not interested and she finally gets the message and leaves

do clipboard people just accost paying customers now? Jesus fuck. Normies are supposedly more socially adept then us but honestly it seems like a lot of them have no social awareness or tact
>sitting down slouched over phone with earbuds in

this wasnt the VIRGIN SIT, right anon?
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please no bully anon

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please post in this thread
18 posts and 8 images submitted.
okay my friend
please reply to my reply
sent, friendo. is something giving you the blues?

Would /r9k/ engage in polygamy? That could allow you to be a wallflower even in matrimony.

21 posts and 7 images submitted.
Only if I got multiple husbands.
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Polyandry. It's far rarer than polygyny for obvious reasons, but OP was vague enough to allow it.
I basically am yeah. Works out fo rme.

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>two girls want to meet me on PoF
>have to pay to see their accounts
y tho
14 posts and 3 images submitted.
here's an even worse one
>on okcupid
>check global profiles
>find the perfect girl
>unabashed nympho
>INFP (she actually had the personality test results in her bio)
>wholesome moralfag values
>overall 93% match with my questionairre results
>lives in fucking new york, 1000+ miles away

should've asked her for steam acc so we could at least be buddies.
if you live in new york, best luck to ya.
nobody has any shit online dating experiences?
Had experience similar to that yesterday.
>playing Oblivion
>making hand to hand orc with big fatass cartoon face
>random chick messages me
>"Your name popped up from the random friend search, I'm looking for some new people to talk to,"
>"Whatcha doin'?"
>nigga I'm playin video games what the fuck else would I be doing
>"I just got done playing infinite warfare, it's summer so I'm just enjoying my time with my friendos."
>"Wanna try something?"
>Sure, whatever.
>"Me and my friend came up with this weird idea, I thought she was crazy at first, but it was really fun. Don't laugh if I tell you."
>"what is it?"
>"We fuck ourselves with random objects on stream."
>"I think you're pretty cool so I'll set up a room for you and my friend, here's the link."
>"Just set up a profile and put in your credit card and you're good to go."
>They've activated my trap card.
>"Seems shady, but I'm bored so whatever."
>"Yeah well, you're pretty shady yourself."
>skepticism instensifies after this
>"You're telling me that out of all the millions of people you chose me to watch you stir your guts around with a dildo?"
>"Yep, special page for special people. brb getting ready"
>"This is a very elaborate attempt to steal my credit card info"
>no response after this
>go to link
>fill in form with fake meme info
>her profile pic is a generic shot of a white woman's ass
>360 and walk away
>check her xbox account
>0 trophies
>entire feed consists of friend requests
>double 180 and walk away
>get back to oblivion
>it shut off because I was away from the game for too long
>lost all the work I put into making that dumbass orc face
>just turn on youtube and go to sleep
Smart fuckin' bot.
Bastard just wanted to mess up my Oblivion playthrough.

the pain and ecstasy
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
I like it :)
Keep up the good work OP
This looks like shit. Like you can tell the person who did this shit was autistic as fuck. What the fuck? And someone had the audacity to lie and say they like it? Either theyre just as autistic as you are or they dont wanna hurt your wittle feewings. Pathetic.
How about you shut the fuck Up?
If you're gonna criticise, at least make it constructive.

Are the Jojo's considered Chads?

>born in to wealth
>face and body of Greek gods
>most are over 6 ft
>even the manlets like Giovanni still get pussy for being good looking
40 posts and 5 images submitted.
If these guys aren't then I don't know what a chad is
there the protagonist that save people and always win of course they are
>he hasn't read part 6

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That kid a Thread

> That fat kid who had a Lamborghini background on his Computer
107 posts and 26 images submitted.
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What is the point of these threads? All you guys do is say dumb shit like that, OP. No body cares about some computer background. I thought these threads were supposed to be about pointing out some of the more funny or relatable tropes we grew up with, not nonsense like this. Your's isn't even all that bad, but the thread will slowly devolve into shit like "2 stairs" or "ran in the hallway"
>that kid who asked if you watched hentai and made shit anime drawings

I know right. What a loser. I had a Maserati.

>Laying in bed at night
>Think about how my first time with a hooker would be
>I'd pick the chunkiest girl there, half because I'm into that and half because she'd be the least picked one and I want to make her feel better
>Would stroke her hair, nibble on her neck and play with her vajayjay then begin gentle, loving missionary sex
>When I'm done I'd pay her double and kiss her on the cheek

I'm fucking 26, why do I still have these beta fantasies about being a fedora faggot
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
>half because I'm into that and half because she'd be the least picked one and I want to make her feel better

believe you me, she won't be the least picked
I sometimes have an alternative fantasy where I ask for the aging madam of the brothel to accompany me
bump, I can't be the only one with cringe fantasies

/r9k/ why can't I get erections unless I'm touching myself? I get them once in a long while but it's usually only if I touch myself
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
no fap is a meme isn't it?
you probably jerk off too much. Jerking off less often feel way better anyway
is once or twice a day too much? i have a friend that faps 4-5 times a day and still gets boners

no fair

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ill be your firned ;_;
d-do you have steam fellow cat anon
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yes and discord and irc and etc

i have all these weays to keep in contact with friends but now friends to keep in contact with ;_;

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>those nights you're reflecting on your life
>all the poor choices you've made, all the connections and doors you've closed
>can't help but compare yourself to the people you've met over the years
>scared to go to sleep so you just sit there trying to stay awake until the next day
7 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>start reflecting on life
>oh fuck fuck fuck here it comes again
>start pounding booze to drown the feels

This unitonically what I'm doing right now at 11pm because contemplating my life and the hell that awaits is me is too painful. Sleep is the only reprieve we have from it, why are you scared?
sleep is a double whammy.
Going to sleep means admitting I've wasted another day, that the future is coming, that there is something fundamentally wrong with my avoidant personality.
Waking up means having to face another day, a forceful reminder of all the things that lead me to this state, and ultimately a promise that the cycle will repeat.
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>when you look back and realize that no matter what choices you made in the past you probably picked best outcome
>could have been dead by now
>could have gone to jail
Never had a chance to make it without pretending to be someone im not

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>be skinny, shy, kinda nerdy 6.5/10 who watches too many movies
>listen to generic indie-pop with gentle-voiced female vocals over comfy acoustic guitar strings
>*sips tea*
>look at pictures of cute, short-haired girls in skirts and large sweaters
>fantasize about a ramona flowers type girl teaching to you embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures
>look outside the window and wish it was raining
>wonder what ghibli movie you're going to watch tonight
>post pictures of brooding and pretentious quotes from black and white foreign films and feel really deep
>keep being passive in the mistaken belief that you're the type of cute, sensitive guy who will eventually end up with a zooey deschanel-lookalike who will want to go vinyl shopping with you and doesn't like muscular guys

Who else?
44 posts and 11 images submitted.
Wish i couldn't relate to this feel so much
I can definitely relate. Why is this even a thing?
u seem cute l hate you

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what's it feel like to actually be desired by someone?
41 posts and 10 images submitted.
You either fall headlong into this delusion that romance has any real meaning beyond feelings, and you have a great time, or you think the person is physically ugly or in some way unattractive, and then you see all their real and actual characteristics and personality traits, which are typically unflattering truths for a large majority of people, and are disgusted and utterly creeped out.

The difference is the "fun" version is complete emotional delusion that almost always burns you out over time, especially as the couple ages and becomes unattractive, and the "creepy" version actually involves real character traits.

Relationships are mostly work like everything else in life.
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>implying anybody that knows that feel should be on /r9k/
A mixture of dopamine high and crippling anxiety I think. Someone without brain problems might tell you otherwise though.
On the one hand, you're flattered and you heart swells.

On the other, it makes you feel very self-conscious and awkward.

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>Wasted every opportunity to start something with the girl I cared for so dearly
>Only reason I'm not married to her right now is because I was too much of a coward to do anything about it
>Never even made a move even though she was genuinely interested in me

I could potentially pick up right where I left off but I'm still so afraid of the potential abandonment that always happens later down the line. I've been in two other relationships and they both ended with the other person growing extremely distant and cheating on me. I don't know if I should just quit and stay the way I am or pursue her in hopes that this isn't all a lie I keep telling myself.
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
I say give it a shot, you'll probably end up beating yourself up later on if you don't try. I suppose any relationship is a risk, but the alternative is being alone. I should say that I'm saying this as someone who has never romantically pursued anyone, much less been cheated on
You're right. I gotta give this a shot, it'll probably be foolish not to. I've always wanted her. I gotta go get her.
Not that you deserve to be cheated on, but maybe think about why that happened to you TWICE before you jump into another relationship without confidence. Twerk on urself and then go for it

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