Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3093. page

>>38181473
>bouncer asks me to fucking leave halfway through it
he gets paid to do this kind of shit. mind blown

>>38181473
How were you "forced" to go anywhere?

>>38181541
Coworkers went full
>we want an actual reason why you cant leave
and my beta years from high school kicked in

>make weird chirping noises
>sing weird songs to my pets
>change the letters of their names around
>air drums when i'm on public transportation
>pretend things matter 10 times more than they do while i'm at work


idk man i do so much spergy shit i can't sit here and make a list

>fart hard and a little poo grease comes out
>stall for hours on going to the bathroom to wipe the doodie oil out between the cleft of my buttocks
why am i like this

>>38181428
>I do this weird breathing thing that I cant explain
>move my jaw side to side to where my teeth hit each other to the beat of songs
> ^ that shit is loud but i do it without notice
>sometimes I am into a song playing in my head so much I day dream for a couple seconds, when I get back to reality I wonder to myself if I accidentally sang or hummed out loud.
>play with my phone in my hand, rolling it around
>pick out people in public who look like they would visit boards like /soc/ /fit/ /r9k/ or /tv/
>think about spontaneously just getting up in public and playing out a scenario where there is a shooter/ I am the shooter.
>think about odd ways to make lots of money, even if it includes crime

I could go on

>>38181400
reep reep
reep reep reep

lame, i know

>Given enemas to my gf
Who wants stories?

>>38183180

Me.

My last gf was up for it at one point but we broke up before

God I want a yandere gf so bad, it hurts.

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>>38181555
Why do you want a yandere gf?

>>38181768
>why do you want a girl completely obsessed with you
Gee anon, I wonder.

>>38181342
Are girls ever going to stop pretending they're wearing this shit for "comfort"?

Because a girl walking around like that is LITERALLY asking to be fucked in a back alley until she bleeds.

>>38181342
>way to liberal
>also a guy actually started hitting on my sister at a Starbucks once.

>>38181388

>Lonely virgin on /r9k/ has rapist tendencies

Wow what a surprise. Maybe I should beat the fuck out of you because you're asking for it by wearing your geeky ass robot clothes lmao.

Nah, cuties like that will never let YOU pump their butt full of cum. That's reserved for the top dogs.

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Also how anyone have experience with "Lucid dreaming"? How does that work?

>>38181774
I can tell you all about it, I have ten years experience but fuck typing that all out if you just abandoned this thread.

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>>38181847
hurry up and type it out faggot he made the thread literally 5 minutes ago

>>38181262
Happy birthday anony

>>38181262
Happy birthday, dear anon, my friend!

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>>38181262
Happy birthday to you anona

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>>38181232
"No, we do not want that half-laowai devil. I'm embarrassed for all of us."

>>38181232
"It's easy, son. You just walk into China, ask to see Prime Minister Xi Jinping, give him a firm handshake and you'll be a ranking party official in no time."

>>38181232
but father, ping pong chong chong!! (-_-)

>>38181200
That's kinda nice OP. Somebody actually cared enough to remember your order. For all you know, it makes someone's day when OP comes in, gets his usual, and talks to the staff a little bit

thank them for noticing your order and tell them not to do it anymore

This might be hard to do if you're such a beta , but if you actually have been going there for a while , the staff probably remembers you so you could easily just say "Tommorrow I won't be coming because bla bla bla" go to mc's for a few days and then just go to DD and order something new , as simple as that.

time to stop playing anime, watching vidya and look managers in the eyes while giving them firm handshakes instead

>>38181096
Most people enjoy a little romance in the media they consume. Anime is made for normies not neckbeards

>>38181146
no it is fucking not kill yourself

So it was obviously at 2 pm?

Op please don't tell me you went in for a job interview at 2 am
Please Op

>>38181171
>>38181227
how was I supposed to know? he said 2:00

>>38181055
I think this too anon, my depression eventually manifested itself as a 'personality disorder' after years of it, and all the psyches are telling me I have a disorder, but I just see nihilism as the logical outcome when you really think about life. Normies don't think about things as deeply as we do, so of course, they're deluded. They've never questioned anything, always taken life for granted.

>>38181055
>Is depression an actual disease
Yes. Even if your depression is caused by "thinking too deep" then you still have a disease, i.e. a state where you are not able to function the way you want to.

You memed yourself into a diminished level of functionality, my hat is off to you.

its a modern illness with modern causes, as are most diseases

>nothing to fight for
>societal uncertainty
>no group or tribe
>spend most of our days indoors

>>38181025
Grow it out then. Real long. What's there to lose?

>>38181025
Have you given styling products a go? Whenever you see celebrities or models, they have product in their hair

>>38181025
Do you have messy hair like in the pic or is it weird and short?

/r9k/ isn't a gay hookup site you dirty faggot. Fuck off and die.

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Umaru thread?

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SEASON 2

>>38180920
That depends, was it a feminine penis?

was it a feminine penis?

oreginaliano

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>>38180920
yes you faggot.
i should personally throw you of a building