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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 130. page

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File: please be patient.png (188KB, 500x651px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>be me
>10
>home alone
>want to make cup noodles
>put them in, set for 2 minutes
>forgot to put water in
>smoke.gif
>oh shit
>open microwave
>plate has shattered and there's a smoldering black lump in the microwave
>open the windows and shut the microwave
>get yelled at when mom comes home
13 posts and 4 images submitted.
>>
>3 years old
>heat up breakfast sausage in microwave
>enthusiastically count down with it
>when asked to count to 10 i would start at 10
>>
>>39597436
>>be me
>>10
>>home alone
>>want to make cup noodles
>>put them in, set for 2 minutes
>>forgot to put water in
>>smoke.gif
>>oh shit
>>open microwave
>>plate has shattered and there's a smoldering black lump in the microwave
>>open the windows and shut the microwave
>>get yelled at when mom comes home
That one's been posted before. Post a different one, dummy.
>>
When I open my microwave, the light turns on and the plate spins and it basically looks like it's on. Am I gonna die when I stick my hand in there to put stuff in and take stuff out?

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how do you kiss? like what the fuck are you supposed to do with your tongue and your lips. do you suck in or blow or what? this is so confusing to me and i kinda wanna know just in case i ever get the chance to kiss a grill.
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
You push your tongue inside her mouth then scrape it against the back of her teeth.
>>
Argh ye plunder 'er vocal cords without askin'.
>>
>>39597429
I don't know every time I did it was just intuitively

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Does anyone else eat this shit raw? Literally I open the mf package break the noddles up with my hands and distribute the ramen powder on it. It's delicious but people have called me weird. Also, pic related is the best flavor to do it with
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
A lot of people I know and in my neighborhood ate it like this when I was growing up. Gonna go buy some now.
>>
>>39597408
Did this once. thought it was good but now I vomit thinking about it. never again, probably something bad about it
>>
Whoever invented ramen is a god. Cheap as fuck, perfect base for cheap noodle stew.

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Been counting calories for the last 3 days.
I'm eating less than half of what I normally do. All I can think about is diving back into the fridge for more food.
I'm so sick of being a fat fuck. Fuck the cravings.
Why does it have to be so hard?
16 posts and 6 images submitted.
>>
You're mental strength will soon begin to increase. Do not give up. I unironically believe in you.
>>
>>39597405
Get a band thing in stomach.

If thar doesn't work just travel via the sixth dimension and have some fun
>>
Eating food is disgusting.
I hate eating. I make food just do others think I'm eating it, then I throw it away. Fuck I hate eating. Every time I eat, it means I've failed. If I break 600 calories I hit myself as punishment.

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How do we get the mods to ban all the straight normies?
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
>>
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>>39597354
Shut it homo
Beat it faggot
Out ya go homosexual
Straight or youre going straight to a electric fence

but honestly id be nice if youd forgive me for sharing my opinion because we are all the same race and JK kill yourself you fucking degenerate
>>
>>39597354
by posting on the board where that is already the rules you dumb faggot.
>>
> treat me special because my thinking process is broken please

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hurricane irma killed my dog
13 posts and 3 images submitted.
>>
You have a right to take up arms. Grab a gun and go after that fucker irma
>>
>>39597325
It's coming my way and this is legitimately my only fear. I don't give a hoot about my home or neighborhood as much as I do about my dog but he's old and tired and I hope we'll be fine.
>>
>>39597325
your own negligence killed your dog.

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>32
>graduating from college soon
>going to be a teacher
I-I will finally do something.
17 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>39597320
You will get bullied and ridiculed by the kids unless you are teaching groundschool
>>
>>39597320
congratulations, anon, good job
>>
>>39597320
Do you really think you should be around children?

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Fembots, would you fuck or date somebody if they're almost completely a shut in but had a really nice body? A-asking for a friend
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
>>39597289
>Fembots
Stop this
women literally cannot be robots. even the ugliest of women will get an orbiter
>>
I'd date them.

Source: courting a hot /vg/ and /mu/tard with very low self-worth
>>
>>39597308
Unless you are a trap or were born with a vagina I wasn't talking to you

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What was the highlight of your week, anon?
21 posts and 6 images submitted.
>>
Holy fuck it's friday already???
>>
>went to skatepark
>bunch of locals showed up
>we all took turns skating this one spot
>somebody put it on facebook live
>I was landing tricks
>People were clapping and high-fiving me
>told me I was "on fire"
>told me "anon, I really want to see you land that"
>after we all had Subway together

I'm struggling at uni and haven't had a day like that in a really long time
Feels good
>>
chiefs beat the pats

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>sit next to guy in class
>try to smile and say hi to be friendly after three weeks of never talking
>he literally just says sorry but I don't really want to talk to you
Shit like this has happened 6 times these past 3 months and they've all been the only times I've actively instigated conversation with somebody I didn't know.
Am I doing something abnormal here? trying to talk to people in class? Am I being stupid for wanting to cry? I know i'd be terrified if somebody said hi to me but I'm trying to get over that fear...
33 posts and 4 images submitted.
>>
>>39597260
Did the other times happen the exact same way? Because if it did, then there's maybe something else going on.
>>
>>39597260
>>sit next to guy in class
>>try to smile and say hi to be friendly after three weeks of never talking
>>he literally just says sorry but I don't really want to talk to you
>Shit like this has happened 6 times these past 3 months and they've all been the only times I've actively instigated conversation with somebody I didn't know.
>Am I doing something abnormal here? trying to talk to people in class? Am I being stupid for wanting to cry? I know i'd be terrified if somebody said hi to me but I'm trying to get over that fear...
Dumb sissy anime boi.
>>
>>39597290
Actually it's been going on for years and whilst no identical, people just don't seem to be interested in me at all even if I try to be nice.
I don't know if people just hate me for no reason, I'm certainly paranoid that it's true.
Maybe it's because of my accent?
idk maybe I have autism and I come off as rude?

Imagine if it was Judgement day and Jesus shows up and says "I'm gonna save everyone exceeeeept this guy." and just points at a random person and he's the only guy out of billions of people who doesn't go to heaven.
That would be pretty silly, huh?
I wonder what that guy would think. What would everyone else think? What if that guy was you?
6 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>39597251
>What if that guy was you?
Would be ok desu
>have the whole world to myself
>do whatever I want
>go whereever I want
Would start a small makeshift homestead to grow vegetables and fruits, and salvage things from other people's abandoned homes to use to hunt animals with.
and no person could interfere.
Would probably find myself something nice to do so I don't get bored, since pretty much every resource would now be available to me without any cost like money.

But yeah, it would be silly and quite unfair if it was random, but the person chosen would still get to be alive, which I'm not sure is good or bad considering if Jesus came again that probably means heaven and eternal paradise actually exists.
Everyone else would probably be smug that they're with their friends in heaven (or probably suffering in hell) or they would be sad that they don't get to experience earthly pleasures anymore.
>>
>>39597359
Same anon here, good question by the way, OP.

We need more interesting questions like this to get our minds off of stressful things.
>>39597251
>>
>>39597251
>alone with all the world
>do literally whatever I want
dude, fuck yeah
>army of rapturedogs

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>that time dad tried to kill mom
14 posts and 6 images submitted.
>>
>>39597093
aww yes story time!
>>
>that time I tried to kill gran
I-i wouldnt have actually done i guys
>>
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>>39597093
Thats gonna be YOU one day anon :)

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Why haven't you dressed up as a girl and let strangers on craigslist cum inside you yet? What are you waiting for?
26 posts and 10 images submitted.
>>
>>39597033
Because if I tried to crossdress I'd end up looking like pic related
>>
>>39597094
>Because if I tried to crossdress I'd end up looking like pic related
I guarantee you would still find a guy who wants to pump loads into your manhole
>>
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>>>/lgbt/
and don't come back, faggot

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>You want me, don't you?
19 posts and 10 images submitted.
>>
This better not be a fag thread
>>
>>39596968
>>You want me, don't you?
Dumb sissy anime boi.
>>
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i only want you for your delicious footpussy

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Reminder that these are so called "red pilled" and "Traditional women" in the West.
r/RedPillWomen/comments/6ypzha/disclose_high_number/
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
>>
https://redditcommentsearch.com/
This is just a larper right?
>How do I politely tell the gentleman I'm just not interested in you.
>Get a restraining order.
>>
>>39597037
I hope so but the nature of the rest of the posts makes that dubious at best. ALL of the female comments are in the same vein while all the dude commenting are just going
>What the fuck?
>>
>>39596955
Damn.. this is a good redpill to remind me how grateful I should be of my virgin gf. But I keep on hurting her feelings and if I don't change, she'll definitely leave me.


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