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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7220. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

>go to mcdonalds
>get a burger and fries
>get a headache and my chest feels tight as shit
>have had this shitty headache and tight feeling in my chest since noon
Am I at risk of a heart attack?
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
yes. Saturated fat and cholesterol clog arteries
any other symptoms? pain in your arm or face? have you experienced these symptoms before? any cognitive problems?
The last time i ate at mcdonalds i spent the next 30 minutes spraying shit in the bathroom.

That shit is not good to eat, don't bring your children there.

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6 posts and 3 images submitted.
No you're not

here have a you
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How many times have I said the same phrase
I love how wojie is smiling in this one

There's hope for us all

>join r9k Discord full of lewd anime cuteposters
>everyone is "in love" with everyone else
>everyone has dated every other chat member at least once
>everyone flirts with everyone 24/7

I don't know if you all are even introverts, let alone robots.
18 posts and 4 images submitted.
A good portion of people on this board are actually just memeing when they act like 'robots'. They are actually very sociable and love messing around online.

But don't get me wrong, legit Robots do exist.
/lgbt/ fags aren't robots
Is this the gay thread?
>meet nice gay guy online
>want to take the first step but he's very succesful and has his shit together in life unlike me
>don't wanna fuck up our friendship because I have very few friends

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>be senior (18 years old)
>prom is approaching
>normie says to me "anon, Stacy hasn't been asked yet. You should ask her!"
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
Good call anon, robot life requires no females
Might as well ask her anyways, your shot-in-the-dark might pay off, but only if you take the 60 seconds to ask her out.

Better to have a small chance than to jave no chance at all.

Listen, you normies have to understand something: It isn't for lack of balls or even trying that robots can't get girls.

It's that shit like this is like trying ot escape the event horizon of a black hole.

When you're doing this "cold call" shit -- that is: asking strangers out -- you absolutely have to nail it 100 percent, because you are a complete stranger, so peoples guards are going to be higher..

It's almost next to impossible for normal people to pull of, let alone a socially hapless robot.

But the thing is that the "cold call" is really a robot's only option, since we don't have any friends, and therefore, no girls to meet through friends.

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Was quickscoping fgts online and munching on tendies when shitfuck lil sister came into room and told me Mummy's boyfriend Chad was coming over to watch a movie with us.

I tried to get out of it by putting on my Stench-Socks (I wore a pair of hiking boots without socks for 1 whole year to get them foul, then put on thick woolen socks to marinate in the juices every night for 3 whole months. Now when I put them on, the whole house stinks and Mummy gives me 10 GBP just for taking them off) but Chad is a stupid-face dumbfuck and wears so much cologne that the stench did not even stop him!

I sat on the couch with my waifu pillow (Katsune, OC do not steal) and he put on "Paranormal Activity 3." The wool on the couch was making me itchy and ChadDad told me to "stop breathing through your mouth, it's loud as shit"

I softly REEEEEEE'D at him (I lose 2 GBPs whenever I REEEE too loudly) and watched the movie. It was a real Spookfest! I got way too spookied and I'm not allowed to bring my pissjugs into the living room anymore so a little bit of my lemonade trickled down my pants and onto the couch.

ChadDad and bitch Mummy both were very upset with me, they told me Isabella (bitchwhore cleaning slave) had to shampoo the carpet and couch and scrub very hard to get my lemonade out. I have lost almost 500 GBPs on this. If anyone can donate GBPs or mail me tendies I will make you a thank you video of me playing Smash Bros Melee.

Thank you and fuck ChadDads
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
Are you fuckng autistic?
Why the fuck do I go on this board
I am currently 300 GBPs in debt. I want to take out a loan but they said they would use my tendies as collateral.

No one touches my tendies.

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Is it just me or is TayTay the perfect woman?
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
Not perfect.

Pretty damn close though.
TayTay has not TaTa's

so no
why are white women so ugly

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>never kissed a girl before
>kiss a girl
>get herpes

Don't fall for the meme lads, it's not worth it IT'S NOT FUCKING WORTH IT
27 posts and 2 images submitted.
Cold sores are nothing. It was bound to happen anyway since the majority of people have them.

I'm assuming it's cold sores.
>cooties weren't a meme

are children the most woke?
Can you prevent herpes by getting tested after kissing girls?

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>have oneitis
>make dream chad appointment
>forget oneitis

is this how it works ?
10 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>make dream chad appointment
u wot
Yeah I had the same experience.

My dream Chad told me that I needed to try and have sex with a bunch of different girls instead of just one, like he does. It really helped me get over my oneitis. When I woke up I realized that I came in my bed. Not sure what that part was about.
basically say yes to the men of my dreams who have been hounding me for years?

they're considered 'dream chads' for most, here and everywhere else

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>your life will never be good again
20 posts and 12 images submitted.
it has been overly good to me, and it has only just begun
Sucks 2bh.

I think the best years of my life was when I was 16/17, and I seriously don't see anything beating it.
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That's good to hear. I wish you well anon.

I was friends with a group of really good people at 16/17 and I'd do anything to have that again. It was a once in a lifetime thing.

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Why are normie girls obsessed with Tina belcher?
Why do they think they can relate to her when they don't have autism and aren't fat and dumb and unattractive?
It feels like they are mocking people like us.
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
Same reason everyone says that they relate to Shinji.
They also think liking Star Wars makes them weird. Just another way to say "I'm not like other girls."

The human equivalent of this turned me down. True story.

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why don't girls like me? what do they see me as?
25 posts and 2 images submitted.

Body like that. Thinks he is straight.
cause ur also a girl silly
i am straight though lol

>tennessee fag
>No friends
>No gf
>Two grils left me because i "didnt love them back"
>Depression and anxiety
>Alot of passions that im easy to give up on
>Happy with the thought of death
>Have problems being normal in public
>Plays vidyas all night and complain when im tired
Is there any hope for me, or am i doomed for robot life

Pic related, is my weird ass in public
15 posts and 3 images submitted.
Just look into those cold, lifeless LEGO eyes and ask yourself where things went so wrong.
I was 16 and i found a thing called 4chan, thats where i went wrong
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Dear 4chan,
shoop this woop going someplace cool
You can always block 4chan from every internet you have

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hey r9k, let's write a song, 1 word per post

pic unrelated
13 posts and 1 images submitted.


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Post feel songs and music videos. I'll start us off.
>In a mood.
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
>tfw no one who loves you for who you really are instead of a front based on what you think they'd like

>tfw 7.5/10 6'1" Chad
>tfw still a Khv

What am I doing wrong bros?
How can I get a qt3.14 gf by next year?
48 posts and 5 images submitted.
Nice zits/10
Jealous of my aryan good looks, shitskin manlet?
I'm jealous of all those delicious milky zits on your forehead. Just pimple popper paradise.

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