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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2153. page

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"Hi anon, I know you had a crush on me all throughout high school and college and I'm ready to be yours! I just had to get my wild side out but you were the one all along!"

wat say?
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
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go away, 4chan belongs to the shitlords

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hypothetically do you think it would be rude to make trophies of a horse's ass, label them as participation trophies, and inscribe them with:

>I failed Sarah Beckett.

And then hand them out to those who failed her?
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
No replies in the DB for this post!

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>tfw i went on a date with a hot girl from pof
>tfw she asks if i have a kid or anything say no
> "heres where it gets weird"
>she explains her complete shit bag of a ex had a daughter and she took it upon herself to take care of the daughter she didnt make
>call her a saint, want to stick around cause shes hot and sweet
> everything went positively
> text her daily
> days later "look you are a nice guy"

I was actually surprised how she could open up and be so nice to me in person then want nothing to do with me.

>tfw we arent even good enough to settle with single mothers
4 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>Anons still think the 80/20 rule is just a meme
Put yourself out there and see what happens, not even the ugly ones will fuck you
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>>38390153
Op here, I have actually landed sex with 3 out of the 6 people ive met on the internet(over 2 year period) I feel like I could have been even more successful if I wasnt an autistic neet. Anyways getting a hot girl is near impossible
>>
>>38390126
OP: "TAKE MY ANECDOTAL EVIDENCE AS FACT"

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>Tfw too intelligent for women
Who else follows?
4 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38389956
Also quads.
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Christianity is true intelligence.
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>>38389956
We are the supreme leaders of our species

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For many years, I let myself be used by - bluntly - old and ugly men, because I found the humiliation/degradation erotic and because of my terribly low self-esteem.

And now, I've found a handsome gay guy that might be into me, and I feel impure and broken in his presence. He's what I've always wanted, but just the way he looks at me makes me feel unworthy: how could he love someone like me, who's done depraved things with old, fat, ugly men from Craigslist?
5 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38389909
You are never the one to decide whether good enough or not. Don't be a self-made victim again.
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Hahahahaha gaaaaaaaaay
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>>38390090
Ironic bad jokes and still bad jokes senpai

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No comfy thread? Well here it is boys

To set the mood:
www.rainymood.com
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GutM23LLpP4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEG2VTHS9yg
2 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Getting a cup of cocoa with mashmellows

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Jesus here. I'm planning what the kingdom of heaven will be like. Rather than send so many to hell, I would rather give you an option to work off your debt. You won't have to work 24/7, and you'll get to experience what the kingdom has to offer. There will be new cities on Earth, new planets to explore.
I'd like to know what you have in mind as your idea of heaven. Almost anything is possible, so just throw it out there and I'll consider it.
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You gotta redesign how humans shit. I'm tired of wiping endlessly and feeling like I wasted a shower.

Give us a cloaca like birds got so I can just shit out a jetstream of waste and me done with it
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I've been of the Christian faith for my whole life, but I fear I will be forced into hell because I'm a bad person. In all honesty my ideal after life is me being reincarnated into different worlds and different universes until the end of time.
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>>38509098
But doesn't shitting feel nice? How do you feel about bidets?

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How do I get a gf (male) guys? I'm so lonely
5 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38389790
maybe if you tried a bit and got off 4chan
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>>38389790
>that's a tranny

Girls will be obsolete very soon Also source?
>>
Why do you want a tranny and not the original?

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>be me
>be 19 year old white male
>been on an anti-psychotic, an SSRI, and a mood stabilizer since I was 11
>side effect of one of them was anorgasmia
>attempted to masturbate multiple times since age 11
>all attempts end in failure
>just stroke my dick for an hour with no results, no orgasm, no ejaculation, just one 6 inch erect penis
>got off the meds last month
>realize just today that some of the side effects may be gone
>have literally never busted a nut before
>masturbate
>last for about a minute and a half before cum literally shoots out of my dick
>dick doesn't even reach full erection before it spews
>feel literally no emotional or mental satisfaction during the act or after
>just feel hollow and empty, stomach actually becomes mildly nauseous after I ejaculate
What the fuck is this? This is what I was missing? Am I doing it wrong or are my reproductive organs / genitals fucked or what? A minute and a half? I couldn't even orgasm in the first place before.
Why does anyone do this? It feels strange, alien, unfulfilling, and wrong.
3 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38389786
I went on no fap for 8 years, didn't feel anything really when I nutted.

I think that old saying "if you don't use it, you lose it" is particularly true in regards to this.
>>
>>38389786
Gotta build it up man. Watch some porn and edge for an hour or something.
That being said, yes, masturbation-induced orgasms are not as awesome as some make them out to be, but explore and try out several things to at least enhance that feel. I for example like lightly touching and stroking my balls when in the process.

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>be me
>18
>Grow up in liberal circle jerk known as Denver
>Going to NYU next year
>I'm good looking and /fit/
>blonde hair, blue eyes, athletic, tall
>basically a chad
>still a social retard
>Get email inviting me to go to some retarded Denver meet and greet for people going to the Uni
>Don't want to go
>Get a letter in the mail inviting me to go
>Father shows me the letter
>"Hey son! This would be a good chance for you to meet people!"
>silence
>"You should really go to it, get some friends to travel Uni with later."
>Trying to think of an excuse without being pathetic
>"It's okay it's not necessary."
>"Do you have plans over it?"
>I know I'm trapped. I agree to go.

>Drive fucking way out to Greenwood Village
>Didn't know what to wear so I wear a suit and tie thinking it was formal
>As I pull up I see a girl walk in in a sundress and a guy wearing jeans and a plaid shirt
>shit.
>tfw live in casual liberal hellhole all my life and make the mistake of dressing up

>Get out of car but immediately start feeling akward
>become hyper-aware of how I'm walking and the fact that my butt is moving as I move my legs
>try to walk more normally but end up walking like I need to shit
>somebody walking down sidewalk coming my direction
>start freaking out about my walk
>stop walking pull out my phone
>"HAHAH yeah Ricky! I'm at this college thing! WHoops my shoe hahaha okay talk to you later!"
>drop my phone next to my shoe
>untie my shoe then tie it
>pick my phone up and put it in my pocket
>FML. What the fuck am I doing?

>The guy stares at me
>"You need some help, buddy?"
>"No, sir! My name is anon and I'll be here."
>stares
>"Be where"
>"Uhhhh NYU"
>"Nice" he walks into the house

>I enter the house
>everybody stares because of how I'm dressed

MFW
14 posts and 3 images submitted.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhHaAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

please continue
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>>38509047
Just a tip, don't go to college as a beta bitch boy
you are not going to have fun
you are not going to make friends
you probably won't even learn anything
join the military or do some shit that will get your confidence up, normal-fags detest betas and your life will be miserable
>>
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I was in a similar situation last year. I hate these pre college meet ups. My dad made me go to two, one in New York and one in New Jersey. In New York, I tried to be friendly to other first yewrs and start up conversations, but then I was ousted to the edge of the conversation when one girl wanted to talk about local high school sports, wild parties, and people they both knew. I was there for a fucking hour and a half, and there was no one else that was available to talk to. My dad then made me go the New Jersey one about a month later, and lo and behold, the same bitch is there. Doesn't even say hi to me. Same exact thing happens when I am pushed to the back of the conversation. Go the fuck up people. You aren't in high school anymore. Why don't you break out of your shell and meet new people at a place that you are going to for the next four year. Fucking flat chested bitch. Funny thing is that she dropped all her science courses after she found out how much work was involved. Never saw her after that. Maybe she dropped out of the college.

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>be me
>21 winters
>crippling depression
>my family hate me
>no one respect me
>i have no true achievements in life
>once had a gf that loved me (only girl in my life btw)
>she gave me something that I never receive from anyone, love, care. She was the only one who look deeply inside me.
>she kicked my ass when she saw that I was a pepe
>now she hates me
>the only person who loved me now have hatred inside, and the worse for me is realize that she is right in have so.
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>tfw you're shorter then your own mother
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Mom is 5'10 and I'm 5'9

Anyone else here just getting really bored with sex in general? Dunno, it's not like im losing my libido. I still see hot thots and wanna put my penor in them. But the act itself just bores me and doesn't excite me anymore really.. Some anons that feel the same?
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Anyone else grow up as a normie and turn into an autist after 4chan? Sucks cause normies think I'm just cold rather than autistic
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
No replies in the DB for this post!

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>tfw bored
alai#1758
you should talk to me I think.
6 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>overshit
Dropped, get some taste or kill yourself. Enjoy your ban also, shilling social media is against the rules.
>>
>>38509099
I don't play it. I just like the picture. you could add me and talk so we can be friends.
>>
>>38509140
Nah, you sound like a faggot. Try reddit, you could find lots of friends there.


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