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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 630. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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can a pussy be so tight that it's unfuckable?
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>39318305
You just need to drill harder for it to stretch. Basically going full psycho hammering it.
>>
>>39318305
No,where there is a hole, there is a way. Even infant vaginas, despite being a few centimeters in volume,can be fucked. Not that I know much about baby fucking
>>
>>39318305
I have a phimosis and a relatively thick dick (5.5" girth) so everytime I have sex I need to be lubed up no matter how wet the girl is

the answer's no. With enough lube and effort, no pussy is unfuckable. In the Middle East, little girls' vaginas sometimes get badly torn at their wedding night

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>run hand through hair
>4 strands come out
NO NO NOOOO WHYYYYYY
7 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>sneeze
>half of the hairs on my head fall off
>>
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>turn head
>Become bald
>>
>>39318287
When was the last time you washed your hair? It's normal for about 100? strands to fall out every day. If you don't wash your hair regularly some of them might have just accumulated over time.

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>tfw you're going on r9k again

I thought i was making it robots... I thought I could get a gf...
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
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I'm sorry bud.
We're all here forever.
>>
I know the feel bud
Was so confident i was going to end up with dream girl for life until she asked me for advice about the dude she liked, with the same name as me even
>>
>>39318278
who is that SS man

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Why is it so fucking easy to get a cute asian girlfriend as a white guy?
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>39318272
As an unattractive white guy, I can second this.
I have had an Asian girl start licking me before.
>>
>cute
Asian chicks that go for white guys are basically our equivalent of coalburners. They usually even have the equivalent of the coalburner face.
>>
>>39318272
Because the vast majority of women like to be with white guys. It's a status thing, you know, that thing bitches crave for.

ITT: Puns
14 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>39318231
So
>Money laundering
>Battery
I'm not sure about the salt shaker.
>>
>>39318384
Assault.
>>
>>39318384
A Salt

Is it weird that I like the smell of my farts?
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>39318152
no it's quite normal. i like to dive under my blanket when i fart while in bed.
>>
it depends, are you a girl?
>>
>>39318152
Who /fartfetish/ here? Are there really girls who are into this and who would be okay with farting in my face?

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>Have a complete rager
>Measure it
>It was 0.6 inches thicker than I thought
Feels good man, its gonna be a great day today
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>measuring your cock at its absolute extreme size instead of at an average erection
How disingenious.
>>
>>39318123
Classic. Very cool.
>>
>>39318123

so its 5x4.6 inches then

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any /muslim furries/ here?
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Youre a total lolcow
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>>39318006
How does something like this happen? How can you call yourself a religious person while at the same time being a degenerate
>>
>>39318041
>How does something like this happen
by being swedish

Why do females wear so much fucking perfume and make up? I almost choke every time my goddamn "boss" walks into the kitchen (luckily only work once a week) and the cashiers everywhere smell more like a perfume department than a grocery store.

It's sickening. I know how much that shit costs because I live with my mom. She's like mentally fucked up by it. I tease her and whatever, try to get her to stop wasting money on cosmetics but she can't stop. She was going to my little sister's party at Chuck e cheese and putting make up on the whole way there.

I can only imagine what real women look like and smell like without several pounds of cancerous materials on their faces and having swum in a pool of perfume.

Jesus fuck it gets on my nerves
>lol virgin
Fuck off roasties. I'm sorry your hole reeks
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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well do you want her to smell bad or something? At least it doesn't smell like ass when she walks by.
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>>39317879
Not him but I'd rather sweaty than that. Ass is simply a matter of washing.
>>
>>39317860
lol virgin

orig

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>realize your post was stupid
>close browser
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>39317777
you can just delete posts, anon.
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>>39317777
Thank god we're anonymous or I'd never post here again. Also, check those mother fucking quads.
>>
>>39317788
you can delete posts
but you can't delete shame

Alright anon, I'm gonna give you ONE chance to convince me why I should let my daughter go out with you.
18 posts and 10 images submitted.
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>>39317560
so that you could see your last 12 years of effort will be for nothing
>>
my buddy dayshawn has a 9incher and I want to take her on a date to his projects
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>>39317570
hmmm, please elaborate...

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How many steps a day do you lazy ass faggots walk every day?
I never leave my house but still walk up to 30000 in circles kek
Nothing better than thinking while walking I even write this post while walking around

You need to stay active guys dont let the jews get you
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>39317469

How does a step counter work?
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>>39317502
Maybe gps because they can also calculate the ups and downs you have walked.
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>>39317502
Here
http://www.explainthatstuff.com/how-pedometers-work.html

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It has happened anons, I am all alone now.

Tfw when
>family members have broken contact with you or just hate you
>the class hates you or the ones that don't are tired of the fake personality that you have to mask your insecurities
>friends bail on their plans with you
>friends join your enemies
>friends lie to you
>friends leave you
>the only ones that reach out to you have that look of pity in their eyes and that it clearly makes everyone around them uncomfortable because they spoke to you
>you have so few interactions with other human beings that you forget what your voice sounds like and you basically lose the ability to speak due to stuttering that happens because of the surprise that anyone would say a single word to you.
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>39317403
>>family members have broken contact with you or just hate you
how did this one happen
>>
>>39317785
Because I
>didn't go to the mosque
>did drugs to hide my feelings of anxiety and depression
>called social services on them for beating me
>had two breakdowns were I destroyed several memories and valuable stuff
>dad gave me the option to hit me so I did
>sister tried to stop me so I pushed her away and told her to leave the house (she doesn't live with us)
>she did and through my mother I learned that she was going to never contact me or see me again
>ruined their reputation when their friends found out
>Didnn't live up to their expectations in school

That's the worst of it I think
>>
>>39317403
That sucks im really sprry anon
You should add me somewhere

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>depressed during formative years
>don't have a personality now
15 posts and 2 images submitted.
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just try to embrace your lack of a *personality* as a unique personality trait
>>
>>39317538
but I can't talk to others

the only personality traits I have are "anxious", "boring", "indecisive", and "quiet"
>>
>>39317383
You think a personality is formed at some point and then calcifies into some static thing? It doesn't, people evolve and continuously change. "Formative years" are not that meaningful in this context, you can still develop, as everyone else does. People that stop developing don't have a solid personality either, even though they might have had one earlier.

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>get invited to a party like some sort of normie
>don't fuck up terribly for the first few hours
>end up with a cute girl sitting on my lap
>get hard, but it's too small for her to feel
>she suddenly lets out a gargantuan foghorn fart and the vibrating of her sizable ass combined with the heat pushes me over the edge
>she laughs out of embarrassment and turns around, getting off of my lap and tries to apologize while I'm still violently cumming
>notices the rapidly growing stain on my crotch, as well as the cum on the ass of her jeans

time to kill myself
don't fall for the brap memery
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Why didn't you fap 30 minutes before the party, just in case.
>>
Did you get her number, Chad-sama?
>>
>>39317291
I hope this isn't true. Made me chuckle anyway


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