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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 219. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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do white people seriously smear shit around their arsehole with paper and then claim they're clean?

if i shat on your face would you feel sufficiently clean after i give you a napkin to wipe it off?

white "people" - constantly caked in shit
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
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I remember when I was in Italy I used a bidet for the first time and I almost came.
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>>39551117
so what do you use to clean yourself habibi
>>
It's pretty nasty, isn't it. I can't even imagine not washing my anus after shitting. It's so strange that 99% of all non-med peoples walk around with shit between their cheeks.

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Is there anything more beautiful than lesbianism?
28 posts and 9 images submitted.
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It's the only true form of love a woman can express and thus the rarest and most beautiful of all.
>>
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>>39551088
> not street shitter
> not -150 A.D.
> ""beautiful""
>>
>>39551088
The gift of life is far more beautiful!

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> be me
> work in supermarket in coontown, Florida
> day is more stressful than usual due to hurricane threat and tyrones and stacies bitching about how I do my job
> go on break
> 30 minutes
> lines are too long in the store, try checking the store next door
> dollar tree doesnt sell any edible food
> go back in store, grab coupla ravioli cans and head for a check out
> line starts opening up, first one in express line
> theres an old lady who was just in the store for like 2 mins grabbing fucking mayo off the specials display in front of the register
> beaner juan behind me interjects
> "ladies first, anon, that's how it goes"
> old lady butts in front of me
> only after she's in front, i.e. too late to say no, does she pretend to feel sorry for me
> beaner juan starts trying to pretend to feel sorry for me, tries appologizing
> too much of a beta cuck to stand up and say anything this whole time
> i only shake my head with a disgusted face to make them both feel guilty
> they still try appologizing
> continue shaking head
> old lady wastes 5 minutes of my baneful existence trying to get her chip card working
> finally my turn
> qt cashier "oh, are you on break?"
> "y-yeah"
> "oh I'm sorry about that, anon"
> "i-it's alright"

How do I end it without making too much noise?
13 posts and 4 images submitted.
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Sorry it's so busy. Just got done stocking up for the storm, Walmart was busy as shit. Lines were really long.
>>
>>39551110
Yeah we had a big pile of boxes full of gallons of water.
Sold out 5 minutes after we brought them out. Bread, milk, and canned goods are scarce to find as well.
>>
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>>39551062
>"ladies first anon, that's how it goes"
>"The only line she's in first for is the line to suck dick."
>push her out of the way and move in front
>old lady starts whacking you with her purse
>snatch it off her and swing it around like a lasso before whipping it all the way to the other side of the store
>take her place as she rushes to pick it up
>if white knight juan picks a fight, call him a spic and ignore

Gotta start being alpha someday, champ.

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>finally have dream about getting a loving relationship with a gf
>still get cucked by Dream Chad

There really is no hope, is there?
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Most men can find refuge in sleep. If you're even getting cucked in your dreams, I don't know what to tell you.
>>
>To dream that your mate, spouse, or significant other is cheating on you indicates your fears of being abandoned. You may feel a lack of attention in the relationship. Alternatively, you may feel that you are not measuring up to the expectations of others. This notion may stem from issues of trust or self-esteem. The dream could also indicate that you are subconsciously picking up hints and cues that your significant other is not being completely truthful or is not fully committed in the relationship.

source: http://dreammoods.com
>>
>>39551050
I had a dream that Freddy Krueger was my boyfriend and he rawdogged and got me pregnant.

Wish it were reality.

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Is it racist to request someone who speaks English better when calling customer service and you get an Indian with a super thick accent?
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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does this look like tumblr?
>>
Nah you need to discourage those companies from hiring Indians.
>>
>>39550981
No. Fuck any company that outsources a job where your only task is to speak to people and fill out forms to a country that doesn't share your language, let alone accent.

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My neighbor is in her late 30s and likes to watch me masturbate through my window and texts me telling me how to do it, where to touch myself. She said she wants to feel my cock pulse inside of her and shoot her full of cum, but it has to be when her son is gone.

Should I cum inside her anons? She'a actually got a super tight body for her age
14 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Nice imagination you got there, kiddo.
>>
>>39550957
anon, you expect us to believe that?
>>
option 1:
do it faggot

option 2:
do it faggot

option 3:
do it faggot

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Where here would you live?
58 posts and 16 images submitted.
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Depends what race I was.
>>
Argonians, Khajiit and Dunmer are the most robot races. Khajiits are part of the second shittiest group (high elves are cunts and wood elves are tree fuckers) and Black Marsh is a shithole though so I'd have to go with Morrowind.
>>
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Elsweyr.

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>Even that weird ugly kid from your friend group in highschool has had a girlfriend
I.Just.Dont.Get.It
13 posts and 4 images submitted.
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How fat are you?

[KILL THE ROBOT ALREADY CHINK MOOT]
>>
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>>39550870
>creepy looking, 4/10, awkward female coworker
>think I have a chance with her
>she has a literal Chad bf
How the fuck can somebody that is physically difficult to even look at get a fucking bf like that jesus christ end my FUCKING LIFE
>>
>>39550870
>he had a friend group in high school
>he had any friends at all
Get the FUCK off my board normalcunt

I've been told that I have shitty taste in women. My perfect woman at the moment would be a tomboy that would be bullied because she was not "Lady Like". Anyway in her teen years she would have a few experiments with lesbians and learn of their culture. Some how our paths would cross and I will teach her how to be straight and she would become my straight lesbian gf. Do you guys think that I have shit taste? What qualities of women do you prefer that others would consider shit taste?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>39550640
That's like the manic pixie dream girl fantasy turned up to 11.
>>
>>39550702
Gee, remember when the manic pixie dream girl fantasy was called "daydreaming?" Remember when being lonely wasn't considered a fucking sexist crime?

Fuck off.
>>
HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DID I JUST READ. I WANT HER TO BE A ANGSTY STRAIGHT LESBEIN

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I don't brush my teeth for months at a time because I think the ingredients in dental products are toxic and will make me dumb and give me cancer. I don't even trust the natural stuff.
18 posts and 3 images submitted.
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who cares? its your mouth and your health, you deal with it you wack ass pussy bitch
>>
I sure do hope you have money for dentures, grandpa.
>>
>>39550589
>Pure autism

Do what you want.

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>Yo Anon, we gonna bounce to Stacy's party! Wanna come with?
35 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>39550554
n-no thanks chad, i'm nervous
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>>39550554
OUCH! YOU SURE I CAN TAG ALONG?
>>
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>meanwhile what stacey really wants

All I want is a fat black girl to love. Does god hate me?
20 posts and 9 images submitted.
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>>39550532
Good lord them titties. I never knew I needed this.
>>
I had a shot with one but she sperged out on me after I told her I don't like kids when she revealed she had one

Nice try thot I'm not raising another mans seed
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>>39550532
There is literally no pussy in this world more desperate to be loved.

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>Be me
>14 yr old me
>Hang out with the shady and delinquent kids, mostly the mexicans and black kids
>only asian there
>they called me ramen
>one day i grabbed and straightened out a pair of tweezers
>at first used it as a shank so the white kids who wanted me to do their homework would fuck off
>this is where the fun begins...
>One day i was bored in class and i sat next to some locked drowawers
>would often pretend that the locks on the drawers were vaginas and my tweezers the penis
>one day i got so rough with it i accidentally unlocked the drawer
>holyfuckingshit.exe
>it was just like skyrim
>my shady friends watched me do this
>a cute 8/10 ebony girl seems very impressed and asked me too unlock shit for her
>usually just random drawers
>my other shady friends thought of a better use of my lvl 100 lockpicking skills
>marco, a blonde hispanic
beleive me i dont know either
>anyway, marco makes me unlock the doors in the chemistry closet (that i also unlocked)
>he steals a bunch of shit
>the next day marco told the entire school equivalent of the criminal underground
>People literally paying me 10 dollars to unlock shit for them
14 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Here is my most memorable contract
>we had this strict ass teacher, we will call him Mr Bond
>Mr Bond had this glass case in his room with a bunch of weird but cool shit, including confiscated phones, confiscated magazines (sports illustrated swimsuits) and old sodas
>we called it "the vault"since he said he would only give me the money after i did it with him i >joined the raid
>after school
>since we had his class last we hid in his class the entire time, even missed attendance
>Mr Bond leaves his room and locks it behind him, fortunately for us it can be opened from the inside
>we spring into action and i molest that fucking lock
>pop.wav
>hearing the lock pop like that practically gave marco an orgasm
>we raid the fuck out of the vault and i snatch some magazines
>twelve credit cards fall out from the magazines
>marco sees this and says "Forget about the thirty, you can keep half of those and give the other half to me, if you dont ill snitch
>i wanted to shank him with the tweezers but i gave in
>went home and bought a bunch of shit on steam
>>
Did you unlock anything else cool, anon?

I used to make fake lunch passes for kids, earned like five to ten dollars each.
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>>39550510
i used to unlock the teachers desks and grab their money and shit i could find

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Why the fuck do any guys still like white women when Asian women pretty much replaced them? Asian women literally look like real life elves, seriously look how beautiful this one is. Jesus Christ.
72 posts and 23 images submitted.
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>flat chest
>no ass
>gook eyes
no thanks anon
>>
holy fuck she's gorgeous
>>
>>39550508
Yeah you can enjoy your manjawed white sluts then

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>"Tee hee! I want a robot bg! I don't want to date Chad. All Chad wants is to slay some boipucci and leave, and I want to be loved REEEEEEEEE"
>b-b-but the robot needs to be cute to fug muh boicpucci

When did you realize gays were just as bad as women?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>39550443
Gays are worse because they act like that and you can't even procreate with them, unlike women.
>>
>>39550443
There's a middle ground between wanting a 10/10 chad and having zero standards whatsoever, anon.
>>
>>39550443
That's more about dumb trap animeposters than the average gay man. But yeah, they are borderline psychotic nymphos, they do not care about relationships, they just want loads and loads of sex. This also means they are less likely to be faithful.


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