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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2686. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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Everyone has sex. Your parents have sex, your siblings have sex. Your coworkers, your boss, people you see on the street. People you see on TV, people you see on YouTube ads, billboards. Every single car on the freeway, every car in a crowded parking lot.

Politicians have sex, celebrities have sex. Every famous person from history, regardless of what they discovered or achieved- what came first was their sex lives.

It's everywhere, it's real, and it's not just a plot device for movies.

You're missing out. You've missed out.
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
whatre you driving at?
I have two friends that are still virgins like me. We went to high school together and are all mid 20s
Thanks for the notification.

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>tfw no big sister to wash you and slurp your dick during a shower
7 posts and 4 images submitted.
Ima need the sauce, OP
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>people who let their children shower together past age 6
>whore is probably hairy

2 nukes wasn't enough..

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>Mom saw me naked because I'm retarded and forgot to close the bathroom door.
>She made the weirdest look when she looked at my dick, kinda of a mix of surprise and pity as if she was worried about it.

Was she disgusted at the sight of my dick or she was worried about my size?

Pic semi related since every time someone talks about their mom on the internet people start with the incest questions.
27 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>forgot to close the bathroom door
can't wait for everyone here to convince OP his mom wants to fuck and read a thread in a week like "help I tried to fuck my mom and now she's sending me to therapy what do I do."
Just another fine day on /r9k/

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So many of you bitches complain about how "I wish I was dead" but you're all too pussy to go ahead with it.

>Have you ever attempted suicide?
>Have you written a note?
>Have you planned how you're gonna do it?
>Why have you lost the will to live?
17 posts and 2 images submitted.
yes, I'm gonna get drunk as fuck this winter and froze to death

I would hang myself but there's nowhere to do it from

I tried my closet, but I just stand up because panic response and pain

In the garage someone could walk in and stop me. It's too nerve wracking

Waited for a train once. A girl walked by and asked if I was shitting. When I said yes she looked relieved.

Basically I need a gun. These other methods allow too much time to change your mind.
Never attempted
Not going to write a note
Going to jump off a cliff
Don't remember ever having the will to live
Only concern is the cliff not being high enough (I think around 50+ feet). I read somewhere that it should be 150 feet to guarantee death, but as long as I land on my head I should be fine right? Planning on doing it tonight.

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Dumping some comfy images and gifs for a comfy board. try to be nice plese
77 posts and 48 images submitted.
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orochimaru originality
Moar pls, for the comfort
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[spopiler] you have been muted indefinitely

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What's it like when you kill someone?
14 posts and 10 images submitted.
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I will kill a weeb one day
I like to turn fruits into vegetables haha
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I'm not even weeb dipshit, I just use reaction pics of this cumdumpster to trigger people like you.

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How would you honestly rate him?
What would you do to improve him?
19 posts and 2 images submitted.
There's nothing much to improve. He's average and that's it.
Lose some face fat really other then that he's just fine
9/10 perfect and never change

Just looked through the catalog and all the threads suck. So I decided to start a Palvin thread, something everyone universally likes.
7 posts and 4 images submitted.
u're waifu is a shit
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she is 12/10, friendo.
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she is literally sucking off dudes like pic related as we talk

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I started to play guitar again recently, but I really don't know how to progress
28 posts and 3 images submitted.
just play things you like since it's a meme at this point

Buy a BC Rich Warlock
master whole songs you like as practice because it will be much less tedious

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>tfw you realize that "social anxiety" is nothing but a pathetic mixture of insecurity and copious amounts of narcissism
>tfw you realize that "just bee urself" is unironically great advice
>tfw you realize that everything, in fact, is your fault

When did you grow up, robots?
26 posts and 2 images submitted.
I know its all my fault but it's not like I can just 'be myself'. Because it wouldnt be myself, it would be me minus all the negative traits. You may as well say 'Just have no problems'.
>Just have no problems
It would be conceivable if you would man up enough to work on fixing your problems

But you'll never do that because it's easier to wallow in misery
You're so fucking pathetic, it's unreal.

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ITT: Continent Caricatures
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not a continent, but its the best I got
It's literally the only continent that matters.
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odd thing to start a thread about

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Hey robots, how flexible are you? Can you do the splits? i've been practicing but can't do it yet.
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
I can barely touch my toes

I am in bad shape
You should start a daily mobility + flexibility routine. It's good for your bones and joints and tendons. :P
Goddamn, I would destroy that boipucci

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Here's the deal. I've been working as a fucking retail cashier for 6 years and I'm done. I have a little bit more of a debt to my current boss I need to finish paying off. Within the next couple to few months, my debt should be paid off.

What I'm asking the people here is how I should plan my exit strategy. I do NOT want to keep working here as a wagecuck for the rest of my life, I'm 24 years old. Now I know I'm pretty good with computers, as I play vidya and smoke pot in my spare time off work. I'm stuck in the rut because I've been feeling depressed, down and out. Feeling like I have no hope to ever move on up. I can only feel sorry for myself for so long, and I need to do something or I might as well become an hero.

I'm good with computers. I type 80-90 WPM with very high accuracy (~98%). I can use Microsoft Word pretty well I suppose, and I'm pretty proficient at using Sony Vegas. I don't really know much about Microsoft Excel or Outlook, but I can probably catch on pretty quickly. Looking in Craigslist for accounting positions I see most require a year to 3 years of previous experience, and skill in Excel and Outlook. I can probably git gud at Excel and Outlook if I use them for a while, but the experience part kills me. I'd love to go to college, but I'm piss poor. Poor as in with half my check taken I only get about $50 a check after bills. I need experience to be taken seriously anywhere. I don't know where to find that experience. Where do I go? Where do I start? Is there even a point, or should I just kill myself?

TL;DR: stuck at a dead end McJob, paying off debt in few months time, looking for exit strategy. Competent with computers but not a hacker, type pretty fast and can learn new programs fairly easily, no college experience and no money for college, piss poor poverty. Need a stone to jump from to either launch myself into a career, or kill myself. Don't know where to start. Looking for advice, help, or tips.
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
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"All those computers and certificates may seem nice, Champ, but nothing beats walking in there, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you want the job. Can't get any simpler than that."
Learn web programming. I went from making $30k/year to making $120k/year and my options just keep getting better.
I admire your dedication to handshake dad. Would you like to step into my office and we can work out a position for you?

Why lift when money is all that matters?
27 posts and 6 images submitted.
Why get money when looks is all that matters?
God he looks like a fucking alien.
Looks will fade, money keeps increasing

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Reminder to run over CIA niggers
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
MlT niggers*
Thanks Terry, be sure to post this reminder at /g/ too my based man. Installing TempleOS asap
>going to g
It's like you want to be crusty and dusty with slime.

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