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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5425. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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You have a month and $25k. You have to spend atleast 20k how would you spend it? But you can't leave the USA.
52 posts and 4 images submitted.
>can't leave the USA

Not even in the USA, faggot
Source on ms piggy?
>stay in a luxury hotel suite
>buy some expensive champaign
>throw a party for whatever
I'm probably over budget already

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Has anyone on /r9k/ ever been to an asian massage parlor? How was the experience?
38 posts and 4 images submitted.
I'm too scared to try one! But I want an oily massage handjob. How do you work up the courage? Will they do it on a younger guy?
Let me share a little secret with you, none of the asian girls who work at parlors are the sexy hot girls you see on porn videos, they're mostly old ugly hags
Ugly girl gave me a shitty hand job with way too much oil. She looked like she wanted to kill me or something and I didn't even come. Fuck don't try it

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Autistic/mentally ill things you do thread

>wait for the living room/kitchen yo be clear before I leave the house because I don't want to talk to anyone or explain where I'm going

>drive to the store every single night after work to buy a candy and a drink

>lie to people about where I'm going because I think they'll judge me if I'm going somewhere with no purpose other than to be out of the house

>tell people I'm busy or have plans if they ask to hangout, when I just go to my room and do nothing instead

>Have full on conversations with myself/voices talking to me in my head
220 posts and 62 images submitted.
>can't poop unless scale is upside down
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those things aren't normal?

>constantly wash hands, especially while cooking
>automatically close browser/tab whenever I'm done with it
>look behind me every ~50 meters while outside
>jump/jog around in my apartment (this might be because I'm very sedentary otherwise though)

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>go on /r9k/
>0 results
The trapposters have won it seems. /r9k/ isn't what it used to be.
Post comfy pictures, music, anime and feels.

What is comfy?

anything that you find to be comfortable.
53 posts and 46 images submitted.
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I said recently that I will aim to do these daily, however I don't have much time recently.
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I will, as usual, dump my own collection to get the thread rolling.
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the previous picture is from a garden of words by makoto shinkai. His movies always have a comfy feel.

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>Join a meme group on facebook
>Expect some dank memes
>They deliver
>Some pretty tasty memes
>Someone makes a post on the group asking who wants to join the chat
>I say I want to
>They add me to the chat
>Expect some top memes
>All I see are girls posting tits and guys posting dick pics
>The guys with girlfriends even post pictures of them fucking their gf

Fucking normies, they just have to ruin everything.
21 posts and 6 images submitted.
Well but you got tit pics so what's the problem
plz post link to group op that sounds hot
Always hating the norms

Why don't you try loving the norms

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Anyone had this happen?
39 posts and 13 images submitted.
Haha no it's never happened me you bloody dick fag
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I don't even fap that often.
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You better go to your doctor, otherwise it will get injection and then you will gona have a amputation.

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Describe sex to someone who has never had it and never will. No memes please.
45 posts and 7 images submitted.
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A short disappointment
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The most mundane thing to exist. After a while it becomes stale, having to reinvent itself through obscure fetishes oh so often.
sweaty, smelly, tiring, lots of breathing, finding a comfortable position, and realizing porn is better

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>What is the gospel?
The gospel is the message that Jesus Christ, although existed in the very form of God, did not consider that equality something to be held onto and chose to leave that heavenly place, enter into his own creation and die for the sins of his people. But guess what he rose on the third day because death could not hold it's grip on the blessed son of God and when you are resurrected on the day of judgement the same spirit that raised Christ from the dead will also be the same spirit that raised you on the last day.

>How to enter heaven
One enters into heaven through faith alone, for Christ had already died for our sins and so what could we possibly add on to that? Are we to say that the blood of Christ is not sufficient and we are to add onto that? No, his blood cleansed us of sin and to be cleansed of your sins you first must believe and Christ will do the rest.

I invite Christians, agnostics, atheists and everything in between, that includes people of other faith, to discuss Christianity and learn more about the largest religion in the world. God bless! I the past I have tried to appeal to non-believers by kinda white washing but now, none of that but also be prepared because you might not get the answers you like although they might be true. I have also created a discord server which is mainly for Christians and non-believers looking for a discussion. It's not really meant for discussion, but if you do cause trouble, you will be removed from the server.

Thread: XX

Cont of: >>36940827

Also, here's a nice pic for you guys for taking the time to read my post. God bless!
56 posts and 13 images submitted.
You should really rewrite that post

I didn't read past the first paragraph, but the first paragraph is a jumbled mess of words that make very little sense
My bad. I will rewrite it in the next thread. But while you're here feel free to ask questions and I will answer to the best of my abilities.
Do you believe in eternal damnation?
Do you believe that if you fuck up in this very flawed human life, you are fucked forever?

Here is a Retard way to move to Japan. Follow this step-by-step guide and you will be in Japan by the end.

Save this guide to your computer somewhere. I aint re-posting this shit anymore.

These steps start easy, and get gradually harder. YOU CAN DO THIS.

Step 1.) Introduce yourself at a 4chan japanese language learning general
>>>/int/74760623 (easy)
>>>/int/74766668 (intermediate)
>>>/jp/16996071 (anime weeb)

Why: this step is important because you need to surround yourself in a community that will support and critique your pursuit of Japanese. You will have to stand up for yourself to make this happen

Step 2.) Download and begin core 6k deck. You can find it here: https://djtguide.neocities.org/anki.html

Step 3.) Start Tae Kim's guide. http://www.guidetojapanese.org/learn/ . Do 1 chapter every 2 days. 1 chapter every day if NEET.

Step 4.) Set Anki for 15-20 words a day. Your objective is to complete core 6k/Tae Kim by end of year

Step 5.) Start attending college. Maybe a community college that is cheap in your area. You need a Bachelor's Degree to go to Japan. This is not optional unless you get a japanese girlfriend, which you will only find in college anyway.

Step 6.) It is now October 2017 (or October 2018). Apply for JLPT. Choose N3. (N2 only if Tae Kim/Core 6k are both 100% complete)
Apply here: http://www.jlpt.jp/e/

Step 6.) Complete JLPT. Take the Harder JLPT exam next year (N2 in 2018 if you took N3, if you took N2 and passed in 2017, aim for N1 in 2018 because why not)

Step 7.) Get associate's degree from your community college. Get a full-time job and save money. You need at least $26,000 in the bank.

Step 8.) Take 2018 or 2019 JLPT. Pass. Remember, if you fail the exam, you are fucked. Do Not fail the exam. It is only administered once a year. This will be your N2 certificate or N1 certificate. This is your ticket to Japan

55 posts and 9 images submitted.
Step 9.) Acquire N2 or N1 certificate based on how good your japanese study was. Acquire bachelor's degree from your community college. Have $26,000 in your bank account.

The door is now open. Your path to Japan is finally open, anon

Select one of the following 3 steps and pursue that specific step until its completion and you will finally live in Japan and earn a japanese flag icon on 4chan

Step 10a.) Student visa method - Apply to japanese university. Show everyone your N2 or N1 certificate to bypass japanese learning school requirement. Enter japanese university on scholarship. Stay in japanese university until you find good job, then leave school and transfer to work visa

Step 10b.) Work visa method: Use the website Gaijob to find a job in japan and apply. Show bachelor's degree, and if required for a translator job, N2/N1 certificate.

Step 10c.) Marriage visa method: Marry a japanese girl. Get free access to japan. You now have access to every single job in japan. Even minimum wage.
Always wanted to go to japan ever since I was a 13 year old anime dweeb. Still, wouldn't mind going.
Why the fuck would anyone but mentally handicapped weeaboos want to move to japan?

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>Little faggots like you shouldn't stare; they should make themselves useful and suck off the superior, alpha cocks that surround him. So get to work, faggot.

What do you do?
24 posts and 10 images submitted.
Turn 360pi radians and walk away
I wish to know who created this. I really want to know the very person behind such abominations.

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>that kid who unironically watched mlp until he was beaten senseless in middle school then moved
361 posts and 89 images submitted.
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>that kid who used a Rugrats folder for English class in 8th grade
That was me
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>That kid who was bullied and beaten up almost every day all throughout school but nobody seemed to believe him when he told teachers, leaving him with mental problems and depersonalisation years later
>That kid who watched porn during the sleepover

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>tfw your friends think you're annoying because you're "too emotional"

I know I cry about everything... I cry if someone has to sign off Discord, or if they scold me for something (however gently), or I cry if someone says something kind and moving, but everyone has their faults.
28 posts and 6 images submitted.
>has friends

Fuck out normie
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Keep crying cupcake, I want more tears out of you.
>I cry if someone has to sign off Discord

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Out of date but spelt properly edition
550 posts and 88 images submitted.
1st for saturday night takeaways lads.

what we getting???!?!?
>space exploration games where theres pirates near your home planet before you've achieved ftl
Home cooked pasta that will be shit

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>took a lot of pills to kill myself
>was literally dying
>mfw they managed to bring me back
39 posts and 8 images submitted.
ohai jesus
>took a lot of pills to kill myself
>didn't die

I might be a literal autist
might as well just come out of the closet to your family you faggot

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>ask out a guy
>he rejects me horribly
>the guy's friend told me I didn't fit his physical standards (he likes overweight and obese girls)
>guy's friend tells my friend that "Anon needs a real man!" unironically
>he has a gf

What the fuck did he mean by this
30 posts and 5 images submitted.
>overweight and obese girls

ahh jelly skelly spotted
You grossed him out with your holocaust body
chubby chasers enable chubbys
gas em all
He thinks you're a nice girl and should get someone who doesn't base his whole relationship on his fetish

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