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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1239. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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>recorded myself with friends
>mfw hearing my voice
How can anyone stand me?
8 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38878346
vocaroo your voice m8 and lemme judge it, i'll go easy
>>
>>38878361
Sorry man idk what to say anyways
>>
>>38878346
>friends
>ree

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>mom stopped buying food and making dinner for me.

I keep pointing out that this was included in my rent agreement but she doesn't care and is threatening to kick me out if I try to pay less rent. Can I take her to court for this?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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You should beat her and show her you are the alpha male bitch boy
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>>38878308
You have any documents signed? If not they'll throw your case.
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>>38878308
Dude move out and try to find your own place it fucking sucks living with people. I admit tho it's hard to find a place to yourself I'm living with roommates and I feel homcidal rage at times

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Anyone else think sex is such an abstract and fucking weird act? It sounds so awkward, showing your genitals to another person and intimately touching each other with said genitalia. I would never do it, even if I wanted to I could never bear myself to somehow initiate a sex session.
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
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That's a really funny image! Can I save it on my PC?
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>>38878307
Funny thing about that picture,

I printed it about 250 of those and started giving them out my last year of high school and people started dealing them. I was the king pin of (idfk how to spell his name) pictures.

Shit was cash money.
>>
>>38878366
No, faggot.

Originally (not) of course.

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Tried to have sex with a roastie last night...I always fantasized about eating pussy but this pussy man...it smelled like the grave. I couldn't even get hard enough to get the condom on.

I think I'm gay now.
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38878305
Good for you, wymyn are shit anyway. I wish I'd be gay or asexual.
>>
>>38878305
What do expect? Bitch was dancing and aweating all night, your junk smelled nasty too. It's not an excuse it's just biology.
>>
>>38878305
I don't know what happens man, somtimes they get a really awful smell.
I don't know if it has to do with their menstrual cycle or whatever it is. It often smells fine but sometimes, all the sudden, there a nasty this nasty odor coming out of it.

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>globalism is bad

Time to hop off the pol train kids
60 posts and 12 images submitted.
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>>38878277
>representative """democracy"""
>Democracy
stopped reading there
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>>38878300
Indeed. Bourgeois parliamentary democracy is not democracy at all!
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>>38878277
so what you're saying is that industrialization was good? what's that got to do with globalism?

Okay fellow Space robots
Tonight 12:00 Est.
We will invade /b/
For too long they have been the section of 4chan people give a shit about
But No More!
Tonight we will raid /b/ and end them once and for all!
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38878230
ROUND UP ROBOTS, TODAY WE GO TO WAR!
>>
Have we achieved levels of Autism
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>>38878230
Why /b/, of all places? No use pissing in an ocean of piss

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I'm graduating college soon and I want to be an elementary teacher, It's the only job I can see myself enjoying while stress free.
What do you think fellow robots?
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38878228
>teaching
>stress free

Enjoy your shitty pay, boring standardized curriculum, overbearing cunt parents and highschool level drama in the teachers lounge
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>>38878228
Enjoy little Sally telling mommy you molested her because you wouldn't give her a lollipop at recess.
>>
Betsy Davos is in charge of the education department now so good luck with that I guess.

horrifying parent experiences
>be me
>be 23
>meet my first girlfriend that I met at the grocery store out of all places but I won't go into the details
>we gave each other our virginity like a stereotypical hentai
>in love with her and we have sex regularly and without anything to prevent pregnancy because she has very infrequent periods
>gf gets pregnant and I panic
>she wants to keep it because she thinks we're ready for a family because I we both have a good income from my IT job at a large local company and she travels for business meetings at company branches around the west coast not to mention she's always wanted to start a family
>we marry before our kid is born and now live together on the west coast
>day my child is born and it's a beautiful daughter
>Parent feels hit hard
>fast forward to now. I'm now 39 and my daughter is 16
TheyGrowUpSoFast.jpg
>she is a nice, quite girl, we don't shelter her but some things are to weird even for a 16 yo
>cleaning our (my wife and mines bedroom) when I notice my wife forgot a sensitive item.
>it's a dildo/vibrator I gave as a present for my wife for whenever she travels
>about 2 days later I'm cleaning my daughter's room and I decided to wash her bed sheets
>there is a wet spot on the sheets and bed cover
>me and my wife know she experiments but this has never happened
>just work around it and get the washing machine going when I noticed a lone sock under her bed and inside that sock was my wifes dildo
>I'm horrified not because she was playing with herself, not because she was using my wife's dildo, but because it isn't any ordinary dildo but a very specific type of dildo
>it was a dildo made from a mold of my own penis
>my daughter used a dildo that is an exact copy of my penis, the size, the veins, EVERYTHING
I decided to post this for you robots to laugh at and to see if anybody has any Idea of what I should do (no wincest) I really have no idea of What to do
pic related of I used for the dildo
75 posts and 8 images submitted.
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Hot tee bee aych
>>
always nice to fap to something new, thanks OP.
>>
>No wincest

What a loser. Fucking my dad is the best thing I've ever done.

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Robots, I need your input on life, only a robot truly understands another robot.

>23 year old
>only son
>friendless robot
>third worldler
>no neetbux where I live so I have to work
>stressful job (Big 4 audit)
>move out at alone at 22 because parents kept telling me I'm an ungrateful shit

>start heavily drinking at 18
>start ritalin, weed and acid around 20
>at 22 I already use everyday lots of shit (weed, acid, MDMA, 2CB, cocaine, ritaline, trammies, clonazepam, DXM, dramamine, alcohol and still not enough)
>only reason I don't do heroin is because I'm too autistic to get it
>attempted suicide twice, ended up in ER in 2 consecutive weeks
>get mild psychosis from time to time because of drugs

>literally use alone locked up in my rented room every single second of my free time, crying from time to time

>some days after I turn 23 almost die of an OD
>most agonizing pain ever
>actually accepted my death
>wake up alive the following day, still with the agonizing pain
>ended up psychotic at the same time
>5 days in the psych ward in a psychotic state
>30 days in rehab


Cont next post.
13 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>38878185
>try going to a psychiatrist
>she tells me that I can't stop using, tells me that I should be in a psych ward or in a long-term rehab program

>literally everyone tells me the only hope of an addict is the 12 step program
>I'm an edgy atheist robot

>try going to Narcotics Anonymous (NA)
>can't stay the whole meetings because being surrounded by Chads and Stacies makes me want to puke
>I go yesterday, a literal 21 year old spoiled Stacy crying about her vagina
>I instantly leave

What the fuck am I supposed to do? I don't have the balls to kill myself, being a drug addict is a slow and painful death. I have everyone and going to NA is hard because I literally hate everyone. I'm not going back to the psych ward again because nothing is fucking optional, if you're getting injected shit every 6 hours for 3 days and being tied up nothing will fucking change that.
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>>38878185
Fuck, are you there OP?
>>
>>38878263
>>38878276
Nevermind, where do you live?

>gf's guardian is getting suspicious of why she wants to hang out with me so much
>get a text saying "we need to talk about amanda"

Should I ignore the text and just disappear from their lives? I'm fucking scared right now, I know it's not illegal but IDK what she's going to say to me.
16 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38878152
>gfs tard wrangler
Do I even want to know?
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>>38878152
Are you the guy fucking the tard
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>>38878152
see what's up

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>tfw no aging Chad with a belly bf

why live
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38878142
nigga looks pregnant
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Does beer belly actually differ from normal fatgut?
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>>38878142
eww beer bellies are disgusting

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>/a/ is full of basement dwellers
>/b/ is underage
>/co/ is a Tumblr safespace
>/lgbt/ is literally a Tumblr safespace
>/r9k/ is /soc/: pussy edition
>/pol/ is conspiracy cancer the board
>/lit/ is pseud
>/sci/ is pseud
>/his/ is /pol/: pussy edition
>/v/ is underage
>/vp/ is furry central
>/tv/ is GoT: the board
>/mu/ has always been shit
>all other boards are either dead or irrelevant
>/sp/ somehow is decent

What the fuck happened
26 posts and 5 images submitted.
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/sp/ was a great board until the janitors ruined everything
>>
>I call good boards pseud because I'm too ADD to learn what is necessary to participate in conversations
hmm
>>
every board is underage. You're on a site populated by 12-18 year olds. I don't know how old you are but theres a reason why /r9k/ has '25yo+ only' threads.

CC's maxed out, quit my job, no money, hate my parents, no GF, and nothing to live for. What's the best way to suicide?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38878100

Run. Run. Run.

>nothing to live for.

Foolish boy. It'd be one thing if you were imprisoned. It's another when options are available.

Hell, you could even join the military.

>but I'd be leaving everything that makes me comfortable boo hoo

You're the faggot who can't imagine how much more free you'd feel if you just stopped being such a faggot and look at this as the golden opportunity to cut away.
>>
>>38878249

>joining the military

I'd rather kill myself than work for Steinberg and Co.
>>
If you don't care about traumatizing people or your family you could lay infront of a train.

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>tfw not normie enough for a gf
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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find an non-normie autistic gf
problem solved
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>>38878054
welcome to the club pal
orignigger
>>
>>38878054
Then become a boxer

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How did you feel when early 2000s culture and shows faded away?
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>All that american garbage
must have sucked not having a real childhood
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>>38878050
Happy with the new tech but all these degenerate social movements recently are cancer
>>
>>38878050
didn't care at first, but now i'd kill to go back


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