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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1239. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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>recorded myself with friends
>mfw hearing my voice
How can anyone stand me?
8 posts and 3 images submitted.
vocaroo your voice m8 and lemme judge it, i'll go easy
Sorry man idk what to say anyways

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>mom stopped buying food and making dinner for me.

I keep pointing out that this was included in my rent agreement but she doesn't care and is threatening to kick me out if I try to pay less rent. Can I take her to court for this?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
You should beat her and show her you are the alpha male bitch boy
You have any documents signed? If not they'll throw your case.
Dude move out and try to find your own place it fucking sucks living with people. I admit tho it's hard to find a place to yourself I'm living with roommates and I feel homcidal rage at times

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Anyone else think sex is such an abstract and fucking weird act? It sounds so awkward, showing your genitals to another person and intimately touching each other with said genitalia. I would never do it, even if I wanted to I could never bear myself to somehow initiate a sex session.
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
That's a really funny image! Can I save it on my PC?
Funny thing about that picture,

I printed it about 250 of those and started giving them out my last year of high school and people started dealing them. I was the king pin of (idfk how to spell his name) pictures.

Shit was cash money.
No, faggot.

Originally (not) of course.

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Tried to have sex with a roastie last night...I always fantasized about eating pussy but this pussy man...it smelled like the grave. I couldn't even get hard enough to get the condom on.

I think I'm gay now.
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
Good for you, wymyn are shit anyway. I wish I'd be gay or asexual.
What do expect? Bitch was dancing and aweating all night, your junk smelled nasty too. It's not an excuse it's just biology.
I don't know what happens man, somtimes they get a really awful smell.
I don't know if it has to do with their menstrual cycle or whatever it is. It often smells fine but sometimes, all the sudden, there a nasty this nasty odor coming out of it.

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>globalism is bad

Time to hop off the pol train kids
60 posts and 12 images submitted.
>representative """democracy"""
stopped reading there
Indeed. Bourgeois parliamentary democracy is not democracy at all!
so what you're saying is that industrialization was good? what's that got to do with globalism?

Okay fellow Space robots
Tonight 12:00 Est.
We will invade /b/
For too long they have been the section of 4chan people give a shit about
But No More!
Tonight we will raid /b/ and end them once and for all!
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Have we achieved levels of Autism
Why /b/, of all places? No use pissing in an ocean of piss

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I'm graduating college soon and I want to be an elementary teacher, It's the only job I can see myself enjoying while stress free.
What do you think fellow robots?
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
>stress free

Enjoy your shitty pay, boring standardized curriculum, overbearing cunt parents and highschool level drama in the teachers lounge
Enjoy little Sally telling mommy you molested her because you wouldn't give her a lollipop at recess.
Betsy Davos is in charge of the education department now so good luck with that I guess.

horrifying parent experiences
>be me
>be 23
>meet my first girlfriend that I met at the grocery store out of all places but I won't go into the details
>we gave each other our virginity like a stereotypical hentai
>in love with her and we have sex regularly and without anything to prevent pregnancy because she has very infrequent periods
>gf gets pregnant and I panic
>she wants to keep it because she thinks we're ready for a family because I we both have a good income from my IT job at a large local company and she travels for business meetings at company branches around the west coast not to mention she's always wanted to start a family
>we marry before our kid is born and now live together on the west coast
>day my child is born and it's a beautiful daughter
>Parent feels hit hard
>fast forward to now. I'm now 39 and my daughter is 16
>she is a nice, quite girl, we don't shelter her but some things are to weird even for a 16 yo
>cleaning our (my wife and mines bedroom) when I notice my wife forgot a sensitive item.
>it's a dildo/vibrator I gave as a present for my wife for whenever she travels
>about 2 days later I'm cleaning my daughter's room and I decided to wash her bed sheets
>there is a wet spot on the sheets and bed cover
>me and my wife know she experiments but this has never happened
>just work around it and get the washing machine going when I noticed a lone sock under her bed and inside that sock was my wifes dildo
>I'm horrified not because she was playing with herself, not because she was using my wife's dildo, but because it isn't any ordinary dildo but a very specific type of dildo
>it was a dildo made from a mold of my own penis
>my daughter used a dildo that is an exact copy of my penis, the size, the veins, EVERYTHING
I decided to post this for you robots to laugh at and to see if anybody has any Idea of what I should do (no wincest) I really have no idea of What to do
pic related of I used for the dildo
75 posts and 8 images submitted.
Hot tee bee aych
always nice to fap to something new, thanks OP.
>No wincest

What a loser. Fucking my dad is the best thing I've ever done.

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Robots, I need your input on life, only a robot truly understands another robot.

>23 year old
>only son
>friendless robot
>third worldler
>no neetbux where I live so I have to work
>stressful job (Big 4 audit)
>move out at alone at 22 because parents kept telling me I'm an ungrateful shit

>start heavily drinking at 18
>start ritalin, weed and acid around 20
>at 22 I already use everyday lots of shit (weed, acid, MDMA, 2CB, cocaine, ritaline, trammies, clonazepam, DXM, dramamine, alcohol and still not enough)
>only reason I don't do heroin is because I'm too autistic to get it
>attempted suicide twice, ended up in ER in 2 consecutive weeks
>get mild psychosis from time to time because of drugs

>literally use alone locked up in my rented room every single second of my free time, crying from time to time

>some days after I turn 23 almost die of an OD
>most agonizing pain ever
>actually accepted my death
>wake up alive the following day, still with the agonizing pain
>ended up psychotic at the same time
>5 days in the psych ward in a psychotic state
>30 days in rehab

Cont next post.
13 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>try going to a psychiatrist
>she tells me that I can't stop using, tells me that I should be in a psych ward or in a long-term rehab program

>literally everyone tells me the only hope of an addict is the 12 step program
>I'm an edgy atheist robot

>try going to Narcotics Anonymous (NA)
>can't stay the whole meetings because being surrounded by Chads and Stacies makes me want to puke
>I go yesterday, a literal 21 year old spoiled Stacy crying about her vagina
>I instantly leave

What the fuck am I supposed to do? I don't have the balls to kill myself, being a drug addict is a slow and painful death. I have everyone and going to NA is hard because I literally hate everyone. I'm not going back to the psych ward again because nothing is fucking optional, if you're getting injected shit every 6 hours for 3 days and being tied up nothing will fucking change that.
Fuck, are you there OP?
Nevermind, where do you live?

>gf's guardian is getting suspicious of why she wants to hang out with me so much
>get a text saying "we need to talk about amanda"

Should I ignore the text and just disappear from their lives? I'm fucking scared right now, I know it's not illegal but IDK what she's going to say to me.
16 posts and 2 images submitted.
>gfs tard wrangler
Do I even want to know?
Are you the guy fucking the tard
see what's up

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>tfw no aging Chad with a belly bf

why live
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
nigga looks pregnant
Does beer belly actually differ from normal fatgut?
eww beer bellies are disgusting

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>/a/ is full of basement dwellers
>/b/ is underage
>/co/ is a Tumblr safespace
>/lgbt/ is literally a Tumblr safespace
>/r9k/ is /soc/: pussy edition
>/pol/ is conspiracy cancer the board
>/lit/ is pseud
>/sci/ is pseud
>/his/ is /pol/: pussy edition
>/v/ is underage
>/vp/ is furry central
>/tv/ is GoT: the board
>/mu/ has always been shit
>all other boards are either dead or irrelevant
>/sp/ somehow is decent

What the fuck happened
26 posts and 5 images submitted.
/sp/ was a great board until the janitors ruined everything
>I call good boards pseud because I'm too ADD to learn what is necessary to participate in conversations
every board is underage. You're on a site populated by 12-18 year olds. I don't know how old you are but theres a reason why /r9k/ has '25yo+ only' threads.

CC's maxed out, quit my job, no money, hate my parents, no GF, and nothing to live for. What's the best way to suicide?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.

Run. Run. Run.

>nothing to live for.

Foolish boy. It'd be one thing if you were imprisoned. It's another when options are available.

Hell, you could even join the military.

>but I'd be leaving everything that makes me comfortable boo hoo

You're the faggot who can't imagine how much more free you'd feel if you just stopped being such a faggot and look at this as the golden opportunity to cut away.

>joining the military

I'd rather kill myself than work for Steinberg and Co.
If you don't care about traumatizing people or your family you could lay infront of a train.

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>tfw not normie enough for a gf
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
find an non-normie autistic gf
problem solved
welcome to the club pal
Then become a boxer

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How did you feel when early 2000s culture and shows faded away?
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>All that american garbage
must have sucked not having a real childhood
Happy with the new tech but all these degenerate social movements recently are cancer
didn't care at first, but now i'd kill to go back

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