How do I become friends with black people?
I'm pickle fucking Rick. Lick my pickle dick. You fickle fucking bitch. Enjoy that salty taste. Don't let it go to waste. ;)
I TURNED MYSELF INTO A CONDOM MORTY! *BURP* I'M CONDOM RICK!
You know, I've been coming here for years and I've constantly seen many of you complain about being virgins. Not "tfw no gf", not " I'm lonely and wish I had someone who truly cared for me", those are different things, I'm talking about you lot who just want to stick your dick in something living.
Have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe that isn't that important, that what matters is who you're with, who you can call a friend or lover?
I lost my virginity when I was 16 years old, or rather it was stolen from me by my older sister's friend "B." The two of them had tormented me endlessly, calling me names, "the little fag" was a favorite of theirs, stealing things from my room, and pushing me around and getting in my face if I dared stand up to them. This had gone on for years until B. moved away and my sister tried to convince me they hadn't meant anything by it. I guess my emotional scars were a small price to pay for their "fun".
About a year later B. came to town and spent the night at our house. My sister immediately reverted to her sadistic tendencies and my year of relative peace had made me soft. I had locked myself in my room to get away from them and spent the night crying as quietly as I could since our rooms were adjacent. That meant I heard their talk about how I would be a virgin the rest of my life among other things, which made that task of mine harder.
After midnight I stopped hearing their laughter from my sister's room. Not long after that I heard a knock on my door, and B. asking if she could come in. I had been beating myself up all night over how weak I had been before and decided right there I would show her I could take anything she could give me. I was mistaken.
As soon as I opened the door I could smell the alcohol on her breath and took a step back. She took a step forward with a grin and I took another one backwards. She closed the door behind her and started walking towards me again. I had no idea what she was capable of while intoxicated so I kept moving away from her until I fell onto my bed and she started laughing at me. I asked what she wanted and she said she wanted to "help me out" before moving to hover over me. She bent down and tried to kiss me but I dodged it, which caused her to fall on top of me. I tried to get away but I was stunned by what was happening and she was stronger than she looked.
I honestly don't want to go over what happened next but when my senses came back to me I knew what had happened to me, with the perpetrator sleeping on my bed like nothing had happened. I considered calling the police but knew the stigma I would face, the lack of understanding I've experienced my whole life taken to a new level, as I'm sure many of you don't understand how I felt that night.
I went and tried to sleep on the couch downstairs, and in the morning no one acted as if anything was amiss, myself included. My sister likely knew what happened, if not from the source herself than from hearing it. To this day she has never brought it up and neither have I, nor have I run into B. since then.
I can safely say the experience screwed me up beyond repair, hence my original comment about having come here for years.
I would gladly trade places with any of you virgins and have the chance to spend my first time with someone special instead of being forced into it.
>Was I a dick for this?
They called and left a message telling me about a bbq they are having tomorrow. I had no plans to go anyway, I hate bbqs and social things like it. Instead of just saying no, I called back and left a message saying, I dont attend bbqs where you just serve 80/20 ground beef, I only eat bison but thanks. I thought this would be better then saying just no, and has truth to it too, love bison
anyway i got a txt from my uncles son whos like 14 saying we didnt want you to come anyway we were just being nice.
You should have just left a message thanking them for the invite but that you already had plans. Unless you don't care about leaving the impression that you are a dick, because that is the impression that you are giving off from this little anecdote.
R8 my phone aesthetics, /r9k/
I'm here to give everyone some advice as to how you can get more girls.
None of that bullshit "Be yourself" crap. I get girls simply because I'm good looking and rich.
But I don't get nearly as many as I want whereas some of my other chad friends do.
I have learned from them and I will share things that you can do if you're not 8/10 or above to get girls.
Ask me and I will deliver.
Well it's been a fun ride lads, but my 21 years of be a robot have come to an end, I'm a normie now. I'll miss you all
Does anyone want to have an actual conversation with a small group of anons?
I mean, I don't have one, but if anyone is interested in genuine human voice to voice interaction I'd be interested as well
Just found out that my friend beat his dick to Roblox Slither.io and now I don't feel so bad.
What was your most depraved fap /r9k/?
Look at all this food, Anon.
Don't you wanna lick it, Anon?
I made it just for you, my little baby.
Come on, eat it up, and then eat me up.
I hate you, Anon.
I work night and day to sustain your NEET lifestyle, buy all the shitty chinese cartoons you want, and you treat me like this?
I just wanted to suck your dick, Anon, but you're so socially awkard that you managed to fuck it up.
I'm done with you.
Anon... I just wanted to review games with you.
Wasn't it fun to go thrifting with me?
Let's put on the glasstron and have a gay old time, thiccboy.
Isn't it time the government provided thicc wives to us lonely robots?
>*knocks on door*
>"yo anon I'm your new caretaker, desu i'm just doing this for the benefits but you look kind of cute"
>*1 month later*
>"wow anon I wan't expecting to fall for you so quickly, I hope you can see me as the loving wife I deep down so desperately want to be for you"
>"well anon I managed to get you out of your room I didn't think it was possible"
>"ignore the normies over there and apply the lotion on me, let them be jealous "
>"when we get home I have a special reward for you, master :3"
But fuck average looking white guys, am I right?
>won't bring shame to your family
>guys who wear fedoras dont get girls they said....
Hi /r9k/ I'm wondering if any kind rich /brobot/ could send me $14 for shipping, for some Orgonite. Would be greatly appreciated and I would be forever grateful. My paypal is [email protected]
>A-a-anon thanks for this date at the zoo
>I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I need to tell you something though
>I'm not wearing any panties
>I want to get fucked by that elephant
>will you put on a distraction while I bend over and let it mount my horny ching chang poosy?
The funny thing is that this shit actually happens in real life.
Women would rather have sex with literal animals than with you. There's nothing even sexy about an elephant. Shit legs/feet and the snout is literally a worse version of a fucking octopus. And to top it all of this bitch is giving herself to an animal on OUR fucking date. She's a literal 2/10 and she has the nerve to treat me, us like this.