Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7. page

by adding me on discord

Just be yourself

t. Black guy

>>39662923
You really don't want to.

At least it wouldn't be gay cuz its a pickle

File: Pickle_Rick_Condom.jpg (33KB, 719x503px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 719x503px

I TURNED MYSELF INTO A CONDOM MORTY! *BURP* I'M CONDOM RICK!

>>39662875
Every time you say pickle rick you won't get a gf for another 12 months

>>39662836
After midnight I stopped hearing their laughter from my sister's room. Not long after that I heard a knock on my door, and B. asking if she could come in. I had been beating myself up all night over how weak I had been before and decided right there I would show her I could take anything she could give me. I was mistaken.

As soon as I opened the door I could smell the alcohol on her breath and took a step back. She took a step forward with a grin and I took another one backwards. She closed the door behind her and started walking towards me again. I had no idea what she was capable of while intoxicated so I kept moving away from her until I fell onto my bed and she started laughing at me. I asked what she wanted and she said she wanted to "help me out" before moving to hover over me. She bent down and tried to kiss me but I dodged it, which caused her to fall on top of me. I tried to get away but I was stunned by what was happening and she was stronger than she looked.

I honestly don't want to go over what happened next but when my senses came back to me I knew what had happened to me, with the perpetrator sleeping on my bed like nothing had happened. I considered calling the police but knew the stigma I would face, the lack of understanding I've experienced my whole life taken to a new level, as I'm sure many of you don't understand how I felt that night.

I went and tried to sleep on the couch downstairs, and in the morning no one acted as if anything was amiss, myself included. My sister likely knew what happened, if not from the source herself than from hearing it. To this day she has never brought it up and neither have I, nor have I run into B. since then.

I can safely say the experience screwed me up beyond repair, hence my original comment about having come here for years.

tl;dr
I would gladly trade places with any of you virgins and have the chance to spend my first time with someone special instead of being forced into it.

>>39662874
lol shut up pussy, you got free sex. greentext the whole thing im horny.

You should have just left a message thanking them for the invite but that you already had plans. Unless you don't care about leaving the impression that you are a dick, because that is the impression that you are giving off from this little anecdote.

holy shit i would die laughing if someone seriously left me a message like that.

>>39662920
I was half being serious and half just wanting to tell them to fuck off in a non direct way.

I said r8 em

>>39662764
remove dock icons/hide dock completely have less icons on the screen. icons just ruin it. 5/10

Why the fuck are all of the icons so bright. 3/10

>I'm good looking and rich so let me tell you how you can get women just like I've been doing so!

haha sure thing Chad!

>>39662758
What should I say to my crush tomorrow in class, if I don't know her very well and yet she still says good morning to me? Should I ask her how her weekend was?

>>39662829
Have you guys talked before ever? IRL or online?

>>39662735
as much as i hate to say it, you'll be back. nobody leaves this place.

>>39662767
If nothing else, I'd like to think I'll stop spending several hours a day on this website, at the very least this board

>>39662834
A few hours is not acceptable. For your own sake, don't come back. It will only do you harm to come back. Try to move on.

>>39662729
original bump, talk about your feelings or anything really

>>39662818
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
omg ur thread is so aww. voice 2 voice eh? no . . . no i cannot . . . im am scare . . .

>>39662873
I honestly can't even tell if this is genuine or not, these threads attract those kinds of people

File: 1489333211740.jpg (42KB, 250x250px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 250x250px

bump for interest like how the fuck

File: 85353686.png (7KB, 389x255px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 389x255px

>jacked it to horsefucker fanart in highschool

>>39662712
Says he imagined his snake as some kind of sex demon, and that the dots were being pleasured by it eating them.

File: 9mVLdZE.jpg (224KB, 2560x1440px) Image search: [Google]

224KB, 2560x1440px

I hate you, Anon.
I work night and day to sustain your NEET lifestyle, buy all the shitty chinese cartoons you want, and you treat me like this?
I just wanted to suck your dick, Anon, but you're so socially awkard that you managed to fuck it up.
I'm done with you.

>>39662604
It's a fucking sandwich and half a dozen potato chips. Anyone could make that crappy meal. Do you want a trophy or something?

File: chus64fex7lx.png (167KB, 400x420px) Image search: [Google]

167KB, 400x420px

Anon... I just wanted to review games with you.
Wasn't it fun to go thrifting with me?
Let's put on the glasstron and have a gay old time, thiccboy.

File: 1504932727940.jpg (63KB, 600x900px) Image search: [Google]

63KB, 600x900px

>*knocks on door*
>"yo anon I'm your new caretaker, desu i'm just doing this for the benefits but you look kind of cute"
>*1 month later*
>"wow anon I wan't expecting to fall for you so quickly, I hope you can see me as the loving wife I deep down so desperately want to be for you"

File: 1504933950940.jpg (130KB, 800x1200px) Image search: [Google]

130KB, 800x1200px

>"well anon I managed to get you out of your room I didn't think it was possible"
>"ignore the normies over there and apply the lotion on me, let them be jealous "
>"when we get home I have a special reward for you, master :3"

Can I at least get one that isn't a fucking roast beef vagina having sheboon nigger.

someone is insecure af

she probably weighs 200 pounds

File: anime.png (409KB, 530x349px) Image search: [Google]

409KB, 530x349px

>white girl
>won't bring shame to your family
>implying

Fucking snowniggers.

>>39662500
thats his mom you dum dum

>>39662500
There's a 90% chance that's his fucking mom.

Stop taking pictures of strangers.

>>39662500

That looks like his mom taking him around the store to spend his good boy points

>>39662488
all that new age shit is a fucking meme don't waste your money

>>39662488
>>39662488
>>39662488
If you can't trust me enough to give me your legitimate email then why should I donate my hard earned cash just so you can get a rock?

>>39662488
cool knickknacks, bro

Ching chong elephant ding dong.

>>39662431
This thread is more original than most.
Keep it up

The funny thing is that this shit actually happens in real life.
Women would rather have sex with literal animals than with you. There's nothing even sexy about an elephant. Shit legs/feet and the snout is literally a worse version of a fucking octopus. And to top it all of this bitch is giving herself to an animal on OUR fucking date. She's a literal 2/10 and she has the nerve to treat me, us like this.
FUCK WOMEN