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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3406. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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Is your virginity is a big part of who you are?
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
>>
>>38013811
Yes. It's my darkest, most shameful secret. I feel like it infantilizes me and people can tell.
>>
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>>38013811
biggest.

but after a while you realize it held you down for no reason, and now all the years of not doing anything because of it are the new biggest part of your life.
>>
No cause I look like I can get laid. People are always surprised when I tell them.

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>day 6 nofap
>still dont even get random erections
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
>>38013784
Your dick has lost the will to live.
>>
>>38013784
I'm on day 4 and aren't getting hard to the lewd pictures on r9k yet. I did have a boner when I woke up though.

It takes time.
>>
>day 8 nofap
>less socially awkward
>notice women looking at me differently, "with interest", even in passing

Placebo?

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It jammed.
19 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38013767
then use a rope you fucking attention whoring lying faggot
>>
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>>38013767
A sign that's it not your time tet
>>
>>38013767
It will always jam.

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Holy shit the neigbour saw m carry my PC into bathroom. I walked very fast, so he might have missed me, but I see him looking across the road. Aw holy fuck this is embarrassing AF.

>itt caught fapping stories
6 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38013741
How could he see your bathroom?
>>
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>>38013967
becaue the bathroom is through a bedroom and that bedroom had a big window wich basicall les him see inside th house. I did'nt think anybody was there, but I could see a bald head looking over when I walked in. But since I walked fast and theres probably some sun giving a reflection it must have been hard to see exactly what as going on. I decided to walk around in the room and pretend I was doing something and he stares straight a me.
>>
>>38014068
Why does he know which room is your bathroom

Since we aren't gonna be able to find a goddamned girl to have a family with, why not adopt?
I'm going to do it.
I know it's pretty hard to do because we're goddamned virgin males that use 4chan and that's a red flag to every adoption agency.
But it shouldn't be too hard to adopt a niglet right?
90 posts and 11 images submitted.
>>
stupid idea, kys
>>
Not adopting a subhuman.
>>
>>38013740
Single males cannot adopt

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How do I get a girl to sit on my lap?
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
I'll tell you if you fetch more of these virgin/chad charts
>>
>>38013717
Become a mall santa
This wasnt original?
>>
>>38013717
>>38014182
Yes anon, post more, then we'll tell you

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>tfw extra horny
>fapped 5 times already
>still horny
>dick is sore
wat do?
33 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
Stick things up your ass.
>>
>>38013685
Obviously it's time for you to work that boipucci of yours. You should have been assturbating from the start, if you were really that horny. It provides much more relief than masturbating with your penis.
>>
>>38013723
>>38013716
that would make me feel gay

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>"I'm really glad to be starting a family with you Anon, being with you makes me so happy."
>"You won't... you won't abandon me once the baby's here, will you? Promise me you won't, I don't want him to grow up without a dad..."
How do you respond?
29 posts and 8 images submitted.
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>>38013640
I'm sure Tyrone will take care of you instead.
>>
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Babe I love you. I would never leave you or our child. I want this.
>>
>>38013640
>Who are you?
>since when am I not a virgin?
>that's not my child and you won't make me raise it.

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Does anyone eIse on here ever get vagina envy?

l'm not sure if l really want to be a woman, but l look at my dick and just wish l had a vagina sometimes. I hate having a refractory period. I realIy wish l could have multiple orgasms. Good sex and masturbation just seem so much more pleasurable for women it makes me deeply depressed... It just feels like both biology and my body have betrayed me. Anyone here know this feeling?
22 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Yes. But ill take the rest aswell since it will make life a whole lot easier
>>
>>38013577
>A mucus filled orifice that bleeds every month and requires hygienic products to clean and maintain
No Thanks
>>
>>38013733

>requires hygienic products to clean and maintain

Retard, they didn't have hygienic products in the stone age.

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I feel old at 23. Whats ur age anon?
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38013563
22, college dropout, depressive, about to enter a nurse school, something I have absolutely no passion for but have to do because I need to have a job if I don't want to end up homeless.

I'm also a virgin, look young in a way that people still believe I'm 15-16 despite being close to 23.

My mother is also an overgrown kid and I grew up without my father.

I seriously wonder how the fuck I haven't fucking shot myself.
>>
>>38013563
21. At a shitty college, haven't had a meaningful friend for three years, and 5 years since I had a friend other than an old classmate who pitied me enough to invite me to hang with his new friends, who probably all thought I was weirdo. I was too weak to have a fulfilling life. Others stronger than I am will experience happiness that I will never have a chance to. I have nothing to look forward to in life.
>>
>>38013563

23 and already tired of existence

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I am a broke neet who desperately needs $50. Where can I get $50 for free? I'm so poor I need to phonepost and use watermarked pictures.

>inb4 rob mcdonalds
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
>>38013544
>Save some amateur pics off Tumblr
>Go on SeekingArrangment or other dating site.
>Find a desperate sugar daddy and ask for 50 for cab fair or something.
>???
>Profit
>>
If you're American, mturk.
>>
>>38013544
It's simple, just go down to a home depot and stand around with the mexicans in the parking lot. Then some guy in a truck will come along and offer you free money for spending the day with him.

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Who here /crackedphone/?
>how did it happen?
>do you mind that your phone is cracked?
>Is this a sign of being a chad?
21 posts and 2 images submitted.
>>
i used a cracked samsung galaxy grand neo for two years.
i cracked it in 2015 when it fell from my pocket while i was on my bike and i used it till some months ago. i never minded it minimally. it was a sturdy, really good phone that got me to fully trust samsung (has s2 before and have j5 rn, all do their job for cheap)
>>
>>38013486
>>38013502
>having a smartphone
get the fuck out of here
go take a selfie or something
>>
>>38013527
can't take a selfie, crippingly insecure.

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>want advice and perspective on my problems
>have no social life but 4chan
>ask about problems
>question makes it clear I'm a girl

>FEMBOT REEEEE ROASTIE GET OUT TITS OR GTFO

If I'm supposed to leave this place, then where the fuck do I go?

inb4 orbiters
inb4 op can't inb4
49 posts and 10 images submitted.
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you go to lolcow and don't come back
we don't need no dumb roastie bitches
>>
>>38013467
you marry me and get in my sex dungeon
>>
Ask anywhere but /r9k/. Try /adv/.

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>bring my car in to get an oil change
>they tell me my brakes are almost down to the metal
>$500
>check my balance only $4000 left in my account
>feel broke as hell
80 posts and 10 images submitted.
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you got got by an age old scam my man.
>>
>>38013473
I could kind of feel it whenever I stopped. But probably could have gone another couple weeks/months without getting down to the calipers.
>>
I know that feel, but it's a retarded one.

It only took until I lived on my own and got into a negative balance a few times before I learned to manage my money and let go of financial anxiety. I used to freak out when I had 300 bucks left in my bank, now I feel rich as fuck when it's at 100.

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I did not get out of bed for 22 hours, ask me anything
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38013450
what did you do in bed?
>>
>>38013464
Sleep and snuggle a daki
>>
>>38013475
I've done that before. It was even raining most of the day. Super comfy.


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