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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6819. page

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>decide to make a gf tulpa
>3 weeks in, meditating as usual
>thinking about how she will act, her voice, her mannerisms
>pretty deep into it
>feel a hand softly touch my shoulder
>hear a faint "nehehehehehe"
>open eyes
>peter griffen
>tell him he's not the tulpa i wanted
>"sup pal how are ya?"
>ohgodno
>hes just stands there idly like in pic related
>stuck with him
>all he does is crack shitty seth macfarlane jokes and annoy the fuck out of me
>even hullucinate his flashbacks that usually accompany his jokes
>sleeps in the nude next to me
>pokes my face at work and humps my coworkers
>wants me to make tulpas for all of his family members
>he's in the bathroom as i type this

so how do i get rid of him?
20 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>36226944
>no peter griffen gf
>>
>>36226944
>tfw no peter griffen gf
dam it op why do you have to be such a fag? dont you understand that peter wants your cock so badly? why do you think he sleeps naked and humps your co-workers??? HE WANTS YOUR FUCKING COCK SO GIVE IT TO HIM!!!!
>>
>>36226944
Maybe you should tell him to go away and do something else? Like maybe trick him into going on a zany adventure to get him out of your hair for a while.

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tips for quitting? was a pack a day smoker

almost 24 hrs in, i do not feel well, I feel extremely bad and I'm shaking
30 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>36226929
Just stop. The withdrawals aren't as bad as people make them out to be. You'll feel gross for 2-3 days and then you'll be fine.
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>>36226929
Cravings are what you'll have to fight those are the hardest.
>>
>>36226929

Get your hands on a vape if you can. Don't worry about the negative stigma. It's an invaluable tool for quitting. You can ween yourself slowly off nicotine while keeping the inhalation of nasty shit down to a minimum.

If you're quitting cold turkey, it's gonna suck. You're gonna feel like shit for a while and then it'll fade. The cravings will always always be there though. Cigarettes are a bitch.

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>That kid that was the pussy slaying alpha male god of advice when no girls are around, but doesn't say a damn word when girls are present
>And when he does speak he always silences them

That's right, gather round lads. It's time for a That Kid thread.
35 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>that kid that makes a that kid thread
>>
>That kid who would always argue with the history teacher about WW2
>>
>that kid who you thought was going to go nowhere but became a moderately successful rapper

>sister comes home
>makes me eat Carne Asada Fries with her because one box is too much for her to eat alone
15 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>36226882
>loving sister brings me free food
>fuck my life...

do an Eliot Rodgers and kill yourself OP.
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>>36226882
Carne Asada fries are the absolute most shit tier of mexican food around,
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>>36226882
Where is your 4loko?

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Does anyone else really, REALLY wish they were born a girl?
9 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>36226806
yes
i just don't want to be a tranny
fuck this stupid body
>>
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>>36226806
>Does anyone else really, REALLY wish they were born a girl?
YES
but the thing is, transitioning isn't an option for me.

You know how that face app makes all the other boys that post here look like cute girls? It makes me look like an ugly tranny.

I am simply too masculine. No amount of work could make me look like a girl. It's hopeless to even think about taking HRT, I am simply far too masculine

fuck my stupid body desu
>>
Yes, and I'm also a very feminine cutie. But I would never transition because it's disgusting. I'm just trying to learn to be happy as a straight man.

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Am I autistic because I go on google maps/earth so often

>in college
>want to go to Europe
>look at churches and streets in Europe in my spare time
>starting to be able to recognize cities I've never actually been to

Do I have a problem? Should I stop?
7 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>36226793

This sounds like a fun thing do while high
>>
I do a similar thing with Russia and post-soviet states

I find the absolute brutality of those places fascinating
>>
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sounds pretty autistic to me
also sounds like a good time though

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Is being in a D&D group reason to not be a robot anymore?
I used to play 3e in high school, back than I only played with my brother, priest, and a friend of the priest. I stopped when my brother went to college and I didn't have a reason to play anymore.
Recently I started going to a comic store, I know the owner and felt it would be nice to help him. Here I met a group of about four guys. I originally just watched them, but they soon invited me and now I play there every Friday. Is that reason to not be a robot? I'm not partying or anything on Friday, but I have been better friends to people than I have been for years. I even met one of them a few times to play Magic the Gathering.
Is the fact that I have regular social plans, despite how non-normie, a good case that I can't be a robot?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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There was that normie test that got posted a while ago, I think I got a 40-something which is like prime robot material and I DM a group every Saturday.
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>>36226784
D&D is pretty normie these days. Too much socializing for a true robot.
>>
dnd is fucking normie shit

ran games for 15 years and that one pic where some bitches start to play and bring in chads, druggies, and wastes is 100% on point

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Fuck you normies of /r9k/. Fuck your bullshit advices. I gathered the courage to ask out a girl from my workplace, I thought I had a chance since we get along pretty well and she turned me down pretty badly. Why don't you fuck off this board? Attention whores too, go to do your whoring somewhere else.
19 posts and 2 images submitted.
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you idiot just because you get along well with a girl doesnt mean she's gonna go out with you. This aint a video game where if you gain enough love points you get to fuck her.


But hey at least you tried. Keep you trying man. Eventuallly you'll find the one
>>
>>36226778
Exactly what happened, OP?
>>
>someone with a job who has the courage to talk to girls calling other people normie

Please stop.

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how does /r9k/ deal with job interviews
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36226764
I don't.I just stay home.

I haven't bothered applying for a job since I crashed my last interview with no survivors.

>was for unpaid intership
>fellow alumnus interviewed me
>dude just roasted me for 15 min, lectured me a bit, and then had a roastie working for him show me the door.
>two roasties accompanying him during the interview sort of smirked or looked bored during the whole thing.
>>
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>>36226832
i had a interview that lasted about a minute

guys laughed while shaking head and the other person just smirked

>ran out a cried in my car behind a chipotle after
>>
>>36226764
I bombed an interview for a job that pays six figures. It didn't even require a college degree. I didn't have good answers for what aspiring Ruby developers should do and fucked up a question on securing against client side exploits

WHAT. THE. FUCK. AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH A GIRLFRIEND BESIDES HOOKING UP AND FUCKING?

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU DO ON DATES? WHAT DO YOU TALK ABOUT?

I'M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36226728
a girlfriend is pretty much supposed to be your bestfriend that lets you fuck her
>>
>>36226728
What would you do with a friend? Add lots of physical contact and you have a relationship. You hold each other while watching MST3K, you go get food at night and enjoy each others company, you watch movies or just talk about stuff that interests you both mutually.
>>
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>>36226807
That is my fucking problem. I can easily talk with people, naturally, but sometimes I get stuck, my brain stops working, I don't know what to say, I overthink.

Worst of all is that I don't actually remember most things I do, I don't remember most things I say.

Social interactions are kind of a trauma for some reason and my mind gets misty whenever I socially interact.

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>tfw no gf into traps
94 posts and 22 images submitted.
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>>36226691
is that fucking real? no way that can be real
>>
>>36226691
>all the +ruuGo+hs complained about hot topic
>goth died and now all we have is, what, metal
>they're not even around to complain and bicker anymore

can't take it senpai
>>
>>36226691
>mfw recognizing that

Is this really a thing? Has shota yaoi porn made it to normiedom while I wasn't looking?

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>Get one chance at life
>Afraid of talking to pretty girls

why must I be afflicted with this curse
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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You're not afraid, you just know you're inferior and they don't want you. Afraid would be jumping in a cage with a tiger or lion.
>>
>>36226653

well I mean I do have approach anxiety with 9/10 and 10/10 qts
>>
>>36226653
No, I'm afraid of talking to pretty women.

who /slowassmotherfuckincomputer/ here
14 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>36226602
Speccy stats
>>
>tfw decently fast computer but my download speed is less than 1MB/s
>>
>CSGO player is on-par with a literally retard on who's the dumbest piece of shit to grace us with their presence on this board

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I love this manga

it's like it's me except I'm a cute little girl and people in my life care about me

I suggest you read it it's very pleasant
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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looks good, thanks for showing us
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>>36226584
does it invovle soul crushing depression with no good end and leave the reader worse off after reading it??..
>>
>>36227389
no it's very optimistic and light-hearted actually

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tfw no bf to cuddle with and fuck
28 posts and 3 images submitted.
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way to contour a lopsided nose
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zxcvbnmlkjhgfdsapoiuytrew
>>
>>36226537
that guy killed himself


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