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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6639. page

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Does dicklet Chads exist?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>36326144
what a cute pe pe :3
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>>36326144
fuck your post, that pepe is amazing
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FUCK I love this Pepe and I'm not even a samefag

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Today's my birthday and I gotta say, Celebrating Cho's massacre and Easter is something I can't do everyday so am glad for that.
so here's to my first Legal drink that I purchased.
Cant believe I've been browsing this hellhole for 11 years now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuO3wwLuF0w
7 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>36326138
extra stout, good lad
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Happy birthday anon, hope you have a great night

We're all gonna make it
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>>36326138
>tfw 21 and also been for 10 years
>tfw 4chan shaped/ruined my entire personality
Happy birthday anon, I had no idea what I was doing so the first legal alcohol I bought was a pack red stripe, a pack of sapporo and some cheap ass bourbon, cash register normie asked if I was having a party, I said yes then went home and drank alone til I fell asleep

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Why?
Its been almost a year.
I'm not going to go back into orbit, why won't she stop torturing me?
6 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>36326120
Trust no thot, anon. If you're afraid of her torturing you, cut her out of your life completely and block her. If you think she's worth it then go ahead but just don't let her control you. It sucks, I know.
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>>36326267
Thanks for responding to my crying.
I've tried, and tbdesu I haven't acknowledged a single one of her contacts since September (she's tried to goad me 5 or 6 times.) I'm a broken man though, and I can't bring myself to not read what she's saying, even though there isn't anything she can say.
She was the only girl I ever let myself believe cared about me, even though it was never close to true. I'm a laughably immature and incompetent sperg in my mid-20s and I can't deal with people like her, because I'm wholly unable to defend myself against the emotional warfare. What I'm doing now is killing me anyway, though.
I don't know what I'm hoping to "figure out" with this public diary entry, but it never stops racing around my head.
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>>36326477
That's shitty. Some of the best advice I've been given is that you need to just cut the complicated/toxic people out of your life and things will be a lot better. It helped with my depression a lot. Good luck anon :)

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How do we know Jesus came back from the dead?
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
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We saw him
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Not trying to be fedora, but that part of the bible always struck me as fanfiction tier. Jefferson bible is best bible.
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>>36325973
he "apparently" did. there's this documentary about a cult somewhere where "Jesus" is leading them. it's kinda funny

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Would you like to have a girlfriend who can beat you up?
28 posts and 4 images submitted.
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If I were him I would have nutted at least 10 times before that was over.
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i wouldnt be able to do that with a girl because my benis would be too hard
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manlets get to wrestle with girls in school now?
I was borned too soon ;_;
He fails his next penis inspection i bet

>be me, 20 year old virgin
>friends ex whom I am also friends with is coming through my town on the way home from spring break
>offer her to stay over because she is my friend and we mostly just talk over twitter
>do LSD and MDMA on the first night, amazing experience. Very fun. 7/10
>end up spending the time downstairs with her because started at night and can't sleep because of LSD
>around noon come upstairs and go to bed
>dad thanks me for not being too loud, heavily implying we had sex (he spoke about "not shaking the bed too much)
>just say "uh ok"

I have a platonic relationship with this girl. My dad thinks I fucked her. He doesn't think I'm a virgin anymore I think, but it's not true. Can't tell him what actually happened because illegal and dad would get mad. Fuck.
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>36325942
>dad just wants to be proud of his son
>son just wants to continually remind him that there's nothing to be proud of

you're a faggot anon

also why didn't you just fuck her. "platonic" my ass; platonic male/female friends fuck all the time
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>>36326043
Because I have feelings for another girl, and my friend has been very nice to me. We talk about everything, and it's nice to have a person of the opposite sex to give you some perspective on some things. I used to be a typical /r9k/ misogynist, now I'm just a regular autist that wants to be nice to people. She is also the ex of a friend of mine, and I think maybe she still wants to be together with him, which is OK. They were kinda cute together, except for how fucked up their relationship is/was.
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>>36326043
Also I want to make my dad proud. I have autism but I'm seeing this cute weeb I met on tinder. I just haven't fucked her yet.

>"Waah, waah, girls don't like me!"
You know it isn't like that, right? The fact that women don't make it obvious that they like you doesn't mean that you shouldn't make an effort to talk to them.
You guys are running out of excuses.
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>36325938
incel faggots
im intentionally alone
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>>36325938
What if girls find my personality unattractive? That cancels out being a girl being attracted to my looks.
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>A girl once tried to do this to me but I guess she couldn't resist looking so I caught her looking at me

Frankly, it was the only time a girl was ever interested in me

>normies next door heard me fart

Fucking end it
7 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>normies next door heard the practice gf

Please help
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>go to a public bathroom
>stay still and listen for a while in the poopoo chamber
>coast seems clear
>try to poo
>pooping is hard because I'm embarassed of pee and poo sounds
>a loud fart blasts from my ass
>hear giggling from one of the other poopoo chambers
>mfw
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>>36325905
>BRAAPPP
>hear normie next door knock on the wall and scream wtf this shit even smells in my room
>Gas build up when I'm stressed
>BRRRAAAAAAAPPP
end it.

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I can't get her out of my fucking head. Help me bots
19 posts and 6 images submitted.
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Grow a pair? Deal with it faggot
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Boy your loving is all I think about
I just can't get you out of my head
Boy it's more than I dare to think about

La la la
La la la la la la la la la la la la la
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>>36325873
fapping solves any emotional bullcrap

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how do you measure up?

[originale]
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>36325680
im only 5 1/2 inches when fully erect, but bitches still love it because i know how to use it. size really doesn't matter unless you have a tiny 3 inch dick
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Do I measure what's visible or all the way up to the pelvic bone?
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>>36326971
I usually start measuring from my asshhole

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normies explain this, why do girls care so much about acid attacks? be yourself, be confident, take a shower, looks dont matter, im a 5'5 ugly manlet and i dont cry
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>36325666
what are you going on about satan?
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Do people throw acid on roasties? That sounds like something I could get into.
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>>36325855
What a very strange response.

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The only fuckable and convincing traps are 2d. Prove me wrong, if you can.
11 posts and 5 images submitted.
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I don't want them too, the fact they're feminine but still distinctly male is what I like.
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>>36325665
I dunno man, some of the asian ones are pretty ridiculous.
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>>36325665
>The only fuckable and convincing traps are 2d. Prove me wrong, if you can.

Plenty of proof exists anon. The issue is that you won't accept it. You don't want to believe that 3d traps exist.

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If you had a gf that you loved, could you forgive her for cheating on you?
71 posts and 8 images submitted.
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I'd kms desu.
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>>36325625
No. I pretend to have self respect so that wouldn't fly.
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Will never work out well in the end. All trust in the relationship is ruined and you'll always be paranoid and will turn on each other quickly.
Don't recommend it desu

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>tfw no Japanese boy gf
97 posts and 29 images submitted.
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>>36325595
why the fuck is this board starting to fetishize asian men as fucking faggot sissies

as an asian dude it's really pissing me off
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>>36326119
>as an asian dude it's really pissing me off
p-post contact please
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>>36326119
can i s-see you're feminine penis senpai?

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>size doesn't matter

[email protected]
17 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36325385
I had a white friend that had like a 11 inch cock, as kids we measured behind the bush, it was always the biggest.
I saw him about a week ago, he has 5 kids with a german qt. Stuff like that makes me want to kill myself. I know this post is bait but it just reminds me of stuff like this
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>>36325706
saw my friend's cock when i was younger. it was flaccid but it was as big as mine gets when erect :/
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>1.90m
>average physique
>above average looks
>10 cm benis
>mfw


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