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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1755. page

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>randomly remembers embarrassing moment
>reflexively say "God, I wanna fucking kill myself" several times outloud

This happens about once a day.
How autistic am I?
I'm not even depressed its just a reflex.
pls gib your autistic stories so i can feel better about myself
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38600457
I do the same thing. it's like a verbal tic.
>>
>talking to someone
>say "sure" when they are mid sentence to speed up the conversation like in fallout 4
>>
>>38600485
My verbal tick is saying "Fucking nigger". I have to be careful with it cause a black woman cleans my house daily.

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What should I watch /r9k/?
18 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
maybe something that isn't weaboo
>>
>>38600450
Battle Royale is pretty good
>>
>>38600466
Recommend me a movie then

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Was alice /aretouhougirl/?
>Is a shut-in
>only reads books and has no friends
>hardly interacts with any other touhou character's besides Marisa
>has a crush on Marisa and Marisa is pretty much Alice's oneitis but Maisa is seeing reimu over alice
>alice has a Agalmatophilia fetish and is a bit creepy and seems to be german what makes her even more weird and socially unacceptable.
>she seems to have autism or some other social disorder as she only seems to be capable of very little social interactions. and very few interests that are of dolls and books
>is very awkward and out of place, only says like two words and watch's everybody with autism face.
Is there anything I missed?
11 posts and 4 images submitted.
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should we all kos?
>>
Patchouli would also be a good candidate, or Kaguya!
>>
>>38600435
Not to mention she's probably a HKV, as Marisa was her only partner but it doesn't seem like they did anything since Marisa is seeing Reimu. maybe she fucks her dolls idk though lol.

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>lost all my high school buddies
>always had to initiate hanging out and shit
>decide for college I'm going to wait for people to try and talk to me
>3 years and not a single person has actually made an effort
>Have literally no friends
how do I deal with this feel
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38600424
the killing of the self is good for u and me
>>
If you have any hobbies try and meet up with people who share the same interest, you might not become friends right away, but it's a step in the right direction
>>
>>38600424
did you actually except high school friendships to last beyond high school
Most people stop hanging around each other because there is no point in keeping up with each other if the circumstances change

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Just got woken up by a cockroach crawling on my face.
What do
8 posts and 5 images submitted.
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Please no oh god. My biggest fear. I sleep on the floor.
>>
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>>38600407
I killed it. but im afraid his friends will retaliate
>>
>>38600370
lol we posting the soup screenshots now?

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God women are fucking garbage.
And look at the women and white knights defending her in the comments

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Y_4lrgIaDo
10 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>38600318
he doesnt have a job and she does
hes just as bad desu, get a fucking job, leave her and support ur kid
>>
>>38600368
who gives a fuck?
THEY ONLY HAVE $17 TO THEIR NAME, TO FEED THEMSELVES AND A CHILD

AND SHES GETTING HER FUCKING NAILS DONE

majority of men have housewives, imagine if they did this same shit?
>>
>>38600318
everyone is a cunt especially op for this race baiting shit

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Why does normies hate introverts?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>Blog starts with a fallacy
Sorry lad it's a no from me
>>
>>38600316
The Spartans use to call them boy lovers. This blogger is autistic.
>>
>>38600316
>tidy little boxes

i hate these people

post more morphs desu
11 posts and 4 images submitted.
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If he ran he would see facial gains but instead he smokes in his car and whines.
>>
>>38600240
>ran
shoo shoo gains goblin
>>
>>38600240
>facial gains
the only way you gonna get that is by sucking dick boi

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Y do you even deserve a gf?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38600210
deserve has nothing to do with it. I barely want one. I want one for the experience, but it's kind of selfish if I have no long term plans and no consideration of her wants, real personality vs my idealized personality, etc.
>>
>>38600210
I don't but I have one anyway. I'm in too deep now... 5 years and I don't see it ending anytime soon. Should've just stayed in my room.
>>
>>38600210
I know this situation isn't what I want but frankly, it's what I deserve.

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>therapist told me to go more outside
>go to the local supermarket after the gym
>on my way there see teen couples and friends laughing
>feel more shit and depressed

what did my therapist mean by this?
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
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He's clearly telling you to do an hero.
>>
>>38600140
Tell him exactly what happened next time so he will realize that he is bad at his job
>>
>>38600140
go somewhere n a t u r a l.

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>tfw 8 inch cock
>can't last more then a minute when jerk off with fleshlight.

i'll never satisfy a woman
despite having an above average dick.

anyone else in this situation?
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38600129
tips!:
>no porn (at first)
>enjoy your body.
>maybe some fantazation (eyes open, or closed)
>lube!
>prefer realism! [approach] positions!
>standing or ready-to-dog(gy) (not laying down)
>not too fast or crazy (unless and only if you are b r e a t h i n g h e a v y)
>loosen the connection to your penis (not summoning ejaculation)
>concentrate on the glans to train for duration
>edge
>not more than 3 times a day (even less)
>>
>>38600601
lube is what makes me cum fast, i can last hours dry
>>
>>38600754
.... and preparing for sex would be .......

>applying for an entry level job
>5+ other people here, all dressed like they don't care or they're a fair bit older than me, too old for this job
REEEEEEEEEEEEE
20 posts and 7 images submitted.
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>>38600112
is that not a good thing?, surely it would make you stand out more and increase your chances?
>>
>>38600300
I hope. It seemed to go pretty well. Much better than my last one. I'm just nervous because I'm insecure.
>>
>>38600607
I had an interview earlier today, I was the youngest there and wore a suit while the others just wore t-shirts, I hope your interview went well and you get the job

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Let's have a chart thread, so we an just harshly ourselves.
70 posts and 37 images submitted.
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>>38600050
might as well, i dont give a shit
>>
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>>38600050
feel like a lot of girls liked me before I open my mouth
>>
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>>38600050
r8 famalamadingdon

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>be me
>8 years old
>decide to hold my farts in for a month till my bday in may
>Feel like im gonna explode by my bday
>it was fun, played laser tag but i was so bloated i could barely move
>at 11 o'clock parents tell me to go to bed
>mom pulls me aside as i get into bed
>asks me if somethings wrong as my stomach is noticably bulging
>for some reason I laugh
>my single chuckle was the straw that broke my asshole's back
>suddenly fart explosively
>feel my pants tear off of me and go flying through the hole now in the wall from the force of my fart
>asscheeks literally flapping
>my mom has blown away long ago
>fart lasts a full two minutes
>find out it caused a tornado
>i live in joplin missouri
>i was the cause of the joplin tornado of 2011 that killed over 100 people
It was a good fart tho
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
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ebin

/r/4chan's gonna FREAK
>>
Farts are how you make it.
>>
Its not fucking funny if you actually say "It caused that one tornado in joplin 2011." you gotta give clues obvious enough for anyone to understand yet still let them figure out on their own

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>bad at literally everything
>improve extremely slowly when I practice, to the point where I lag further and further behind everyone else
>easily discouraged, repeated failings remind me that I'm a failure and lose interest in the task
>easily embarrassed, have to do fucking math problems in my head to prevent crying in stressful situations
>getting dumber every day
>getting more apathetic every day
>no creative flame, imagination is non-existent
>lack any sort of skill to create something even if I did
>zero work ethic
>no interests
>no passion
>no hobbies
>no personality
>no life experiences, terrible memory
>can't hold a conversation because I have absolutely nothing to say
>kissless hugless handholdless virgin
>retarded idiotic fetishes that make the idea of a functioning healthy mutually-respecting, relationship impossible
>will never be attractive to another person, will never be loved by another person, any attempt at a relationship would be a massive waste of their time
>hideous face and body
>don't have any friends, given up on making friends because I have no worthwhile qualities of a friend and can't talk to strangers
>locked into pissing away my savings at college studying ???
because it's the only option
>poor
>parents are losers, entire family is cold and unloving to one another
>too cowardly to live, too cowardly to die
>acutely aware of these flaws but too powerless, clueless, weak, sniveling, pathetic to alter any

I wish a sniper would just take me out. I want to retroactively have never existed.
26 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>38599896
Anon, we're quite similar. Care to drop a discord? I'd love to talk with you.
>>
Learn to draw or make music, force yourself to keep at it. Don't quit early on and maybe you will start to enjoy it.
>tfw i tried following my own advice and quit drawing within a week.
>>
>bad at literally everything
not true, you're really good at coming up with bad things to say about yourself


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