Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 91. page

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Alright, masculinity test. Too many traps and shit on this board, time to weed out the boys from the MEN. Here's your choice:

>rare steak dinner and you fuck this hot sexy black model afterwards

or

>some vegan "meal" and you gotta fuck some skinny white or Asian bitch after

What do you choose? Pic related, the black model you can fuck in the first example.

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Try huffing Gasoline, duster, rubber cement, model plane glue, febreeze.

I huff all the time since 6th grade. Its makes you feel super fucked up

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What do you do when anime and escapism isn't enough?

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I'm not a dumb sissy anime boi

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Why do women always find it necessary to end a relationship via ghosting?
Its a shit move on so many levels.

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I made a thread earlier about pcp. Pcp is a garbage piece of shit drug. Robots DO NOT DO THAT SHIT. The very personality of the drug pcp itself is malevolent. When you ingest it it makes you feel violent. Like you want to self destruct or hurt someone else. FUCK PCP I HATE THAT SHIT?!WORST DRUG EVER

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>extreme OCD and hypochondria with food
>cannot touch food with hands for any reason
>food cannot touch the air with any reasonable suspicion that the air is dirty and contains pollutants i could ingest from the foods surface
>food has to easily go from opening to inside of my mouth without touching anything but the inside of the packaging and my mouth
>cannot eat food until i perform inhale/exhale exercises to rid my body of the toxins and pollutants from the air that I breathed in while leaving my room to buy the food

>think it will somehow make me bad or lower my intelligence if i do not follow this

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ITT we call out people that we suspect browse /r9k/

Hey Matt. Yeah, you, Matt Smith. Fuck you Matt.

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Lets settle it once and for all.

I'm 6.7"x5.75", which is by no means small, but I bought my gf a dildo which is 8.5"x6.5".

She says it hurts at first when putting it in, but once she gets it in she goes crazy and cums really hard and fast. I can make her cum with my penis, but it takes a lot of effort even though I'm quite big. What was once painful to her, in the throws of passion she is telling me to thrust it into her harder, faster and deeper until she orgasms in literally a quarter of the time it takes me to do the same thing.

She is still adamant that she prefers my dick to the dildo, because while it's not as big, it feels different and better. But I'm starting to have my doubts.

With the dildo she has a reaction that I can't seem to make her make and it's really hot to me. It's what made me realize that size really does matter. Girls who say it doesn't are just weak and don't push through the discomfort and discover how much a larger girthier cock really hits all their spots and makes them cum like crazy really fast.

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>be me
>around 13, maybe 14
>tell everyone at school im getting a tattoo
>actuallywantsto.png
>reads up on law, says anyone under 18 can get one with parents present
>letsfuckingdoit.jpg
>call tattoo parlor, wont tat anyone under 16
>disappointment
>everyone at school asks about tattoo
>lie that im getting it on the weekend
>shouldn'thavedonethat.gif
>hunt for parlors that will tat me so i can walk out of this with my dignity
>can't find any
>need a way to buy time NOW
>wear gauze on my back and tell everyone its a bandage for my tattoo
>fags at my school keep bugging me about seeing it
>waityoucocksuckers.png
>keep "bandage" on for a fucking MONTH
>lie that my "tattoo artist" said i can take bandage off in june
>finally take gauze off and get mom to write tattoo in marker
>go to school and show everyone my sweet ink
>muslim shitskin acne fuck keeps claiming its fake
>summer goes by
>finally buy tattoo gun and gets the tat finished
>cheap ink so its faded a little bit in the middle but still visible
>go back to school and shitskin still thinks its pen
>Walk away with my dignity intact

Don't lie kids. (Picture unrelated this was years before rick and morty)

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/r9k/, Chris Chan is now dating his Facebook white night Jessica Quinn.

The sweetheart search is over.

https://youtu.be/MF5IfOAZXV8

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Do u guys think women with shaved vaginas are sexy? Is it because women without much hair on their bodies are more desirable than older women ? Or is it just an aesthetic or cleanliness thing

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/r9k/, i have become a machine

>24 years old
>live with mom, we recently moved to new appt
Shit, blinds in new appt dont block out sun
>try to watch hunterxhunter (almost done btw)
>can't because new appt doesnt have blinds that block out sun--I see my face in monitor
>drink roughly 1 handle of whisky every 4 days. Face puffed up, deep circles under eyes

As a kid, I wanted to be a doctor. what happened to me, /r9k/? When did I turn into this unfeeling, alcohol addicted robot?

>how did you get here?
:(

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>parents divorce after months of arguing which puts me on edge and gives me anxiety disorder
>3 years without father really in life, now they are back together, and we moved back in with each other
>tonight is the third week of living with my dad again, and he bought beer (he is a former alcoholic) and my mother is mad
>in their room atm with my mom crying and them bickering back and forth in low voices so nobody hears (its an apartment)
>to top it off, been searching for jobs, called into a job i really wanted today and they said they werent hiring, cant find any fucking jobs anywhere for a 19 year old NEET with a ged
>now im sitting here with fucking anxiety over my parents fighting again, all the while looking at my insulin pen (type 1 diabetic) seriously considering giving myself a dose of 64 units to each part of my body and going to bed
I just fucking want to live.
I just want peace and fucking work and I want to fucking survive. Why can't I just have that? Why can't I have two parents who love each other? Why is my family a bomb? Why am I so fucking stupid? Why can't I just give up?

They say "oh it gets better" but I've been waiting 5 fucking years for it to get better, and I've tried to improve, I've self educated myself and practically raised myself, but it's not enough.

What the fuck do I do?
I seriously don't think I will be able to handle going through this shit all over again.

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>had best friend since high school
>we've been best bros and were super close
>one day he tells me hes transgender
>support him because I want him to be happy
>he goes on HRT and starts changing dramatically over the years
>these days he's pretty much a girl with a peen
>his personality changed a lot and he's maximum girly
>wears cute dresses and acts like a pure little princess
>feel like the person I knew is largely gone but this isn't so bad either
>he invites me to his house
>just talking with each other like normal
>he gets super serious suddenly and says that all his old friends are gone except me
>I tell him that's expected but I'd always stick by him since we're best friends
>he says even if he doesn't make any other friends, hes happy just being with me
>feel kind of embarrassed but I tell him that's good
>its quiet for a little while and then suddenly he asks me if I see him as a girl
>wasn't quite sure how to answer
>I say it's complicated because I knew him from back in the old days but when I look at him now all I see is a girl
>best friend gets close to me and suddenly kisses me on the cheek
>taken aback and confused and ask what
>he asks me how I feel when I kiss him
>kind of freaked out
>he gets super close and says if I see him like a girl, he's more than willing to do certain things for me
>not sure what suddenly brought this on and not sure what to do
>feel immensely awkward and my brain and dick are in a tug-of-war of confusion
>I say I don't know but we're friends
>he says we can be friends and do those things
>he tells me he's already deeply in love with me and wants to make me happy
>he says in his eyes theres no other guy he wants to be with other than me and his feelings go back to before he even transitioned
>he starts feeling me up
>I tell him I'm sorry but I can't
>get up and go home
>best friend messages me later saying hes sorry but what he said was true and he wants me to think about it
What am I supposed to do? This is so weird.