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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2356. page

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>tfw you go to sleep only to wake up the next day
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>finished a box of honey cheerios in one sitting again
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>>38286595
If its your box of cereal then you can do watever you want annon
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>be me
>450 lbs,29,live with my mom
>wake up and be healthy
>suddenly i feel the hungries.
>burst out of my room on my scooter,yelling
>'MOMMY MOMMY GIVE ME CHEERIES, I HAVE 50 GOOD BOY POINST!'
>stupid mommy is sitting on the table surrounded in pills , she is asleep
>whatever stupid bitch
>sees my cheeries
>grab the box and snort it up all of my holes
>turn around, mommy still being a dumb bitch
>scoot back to room
>mfw
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How great, anon !

Though, im sure you could do something more productive than getting chubbier. More fat when you're fat is bad.

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How the fuck do you deal with depression?
I honestly don't see how people can live semi normal lives whilst coping with depression.
I'm constantly tired, i've lost interest in all of my hobbied, including animy and vidya, and i want to constantly blow my fucking brains out.
People always say suicide is never the solution, but i'm not seeing any fucking options.
Do anti depressants help? How do you guys deal with it?
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>>38487524
i can't, so i'm going to kill myself next year.
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I feel the same, but I'm going to start SSRIs soon.
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>>38487524
thinking of trying some psilocybin desu

I wish i was as smart as my grandfather and i wish i could meet someone as loyal as my grandmother. Thats really all i want in life.
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Pepe is a false prophet. Garfield is the true r9k mascot
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>garfold
>mascot for r9k

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>Have been using tinder for about 2 months
>Every night I swipe right unless it's someone who is completely incompatible.
>Send blue stars out to people who I'd like to know.
>Have one response back from a muslim
>Have another later from someone who sent a website link
>One blue star got one chick interested but cancelled before I thought of anything.
>Today I gave a blue star to this cool looking chick with a Ramones shirt.
>She types "hello ;)"
>Immediately fail to keep my cool.
>Throw spaghetti at my phone
>No response for 10 minutes
>I'm pacing in my front room
>Turns out it's a bot
>dissapointingrelief.jpeg

Funny thing is, I'm not horribly unattractive, I'm maybe a close 7 when I clean and dress sharp like in my photo and I've tried being witty, cheeky, upfront, personal, impersonal in the bio and nothing works. It's like they know that I have mental issues.

I never thought the dating scene was this biased. I'm tall, decent face, articulate enough, ambitious. Jesus christ how much more do I need to satisfy these thots.
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>>38286397
Wow
remember when men werent such huge fucking pussies
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>>38286397

wtf, nigga, you're an actual black colored negro nigger!
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>>38286445

Your birth was a disaster for mankind, I agree.

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>Age 12
>In love with Waifu, loved drawing, spent a lot of time lost in fantasy worlds, really strong sense of aesthetics

>Age 18
>completely bland and inexpressive, muted emotions, perma dead facial expression.

what happened guys? I want to go back.
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>>38286149
Welcome to the pre-existential crisis stage, I have been here for around 5 years with no end in sight. Send help
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>>38286149
This to be honest. Who /peaked/ here? I started feeling more and more dumber by the day around age 15, and since then I've probably forgotten most things and gotten worse with my senses. The most defining part (and the most difficult to explain, incidentally) of this was when some switch in my head turned off overnight, and I've had to force thinking since then, since instinctual behavior filled that spot. I've felt pretty intelligent back then and aced everything handed to me, but records show a decline in ability since around that age, and now I am a total idiot who does not know how anything works, which in turn makes me unsure if I ever was smart at all. As for the cause, it's probably the isolation and compulsive escapism through consumerism that brought this, as it seems to be the most prevalent one of the disenfranchised robots here, although I think there are other minor reasons to add too. This feel is very uncomfy, but then being a human is too.
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>>38286149
You never left, the lens of life just changed. If you truly wanted those things in your life they'd be there. And if there lack is the reason for your suffering, you should pick them up again

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Why the fuck should I have to lose weight to get a gf, when it is okay for women to be fat.

I REFUSE TO LOSE WEIGHT AND CHAD'S SHOULD HAVE MUSCLES REMOVED SO THEY KNOW HOW IT IS TO BE FAT
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Anyone else hoping for a fuck huge leak of sensitive information?

Im holding out for a huuuuge whistleblow on the underworld of the entertainment industry, existence of alien life, and secret fucked up projects that out govt has been carrying out

We are living in a time period where sensitive information is constantly being leaked to the public so its only a matter of time before something really big gets out
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Can someone paste the copypasta of a typical anime girl showing her breasts to an anon?
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Ill take that as a no.

Understandable, have a nice day
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>>38286145
Anon are you still here? I'll post it if you respond.
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>>38286069
Like this? She is taking a revealing selfie after all.

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Is there a worse curse than huge forehead + balding? Just fuck my shit up
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I know this is for /lit/, but write some poems about r9k.
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>>38286037 hi Op, this for the thread.
when my mom comes by
i get up and say hi
when my tendies fry
masturbating while waiting for them i try
when i finish i feel like i wanna die
and on the floor with cum stains i lay
i decide to to have weed and get high
the dank kush takes me high in the sky
you can replace every "i" with "we" and every "me" with "us"
but at the end we realize
the robot life
makes time FLY
ten years passed since 2007
heading towards 2018 with a speed of 29 mile per second.

summer came early.

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All my problems are petty, mental health is sneezed at, and I do not matter. The problems I've faced throughout my life would have served to make other people stronger individuals, but not me. I have become fragile and broken, pathetic and desperate for affection--yet I'm terrified of opening up to anyone and letting people know how I suffer inside my head. My problems are petty. The only problem is that I'm a weak person, I know I'm weak, and so I wish I had support. Look at this pathetic fucko, crying himself to sleep wishing he was capable of making a friend. It's too late for that now, you piece of shit. There will be no one in my life to accept me as the broken trash I am, no one to help me put my pieces back together. It's petty, it's all so petty, it torments me so much, but it's so fucking petty. Besides, I don't think I have a good idea what a friend is because what I desire sounds extremely selfish. Why would anyone take on the problems of someone else when they have their own. It's so hard to accept that I will never experience a friendship and trust that I try, I try every night, I tell myself that there is no one, and there will never be no one, that cares about me. But I refuse it, I cry and I refuse it, sobbing "no, no, no, no, no, no..." until I can't cry anymore. I just need a little push. Please.
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>>38286034
Mental health is very serious anon. What ails you?

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Ask something to the universe and see what the future helds for you.

How:
>State your khhv status and tell the "oracle" something about yourself.
>Ask a query.

If you came late to the thread, look If I'm still around.

Let's practice some arcana, robots.
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>>38487504
will i become a narc in the future
this is for you Nick, you piece of shit
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>>38487504
>hhv
>kissed a gay girl once, not sure if it counts
>NEET for over ten years
>fat

Will I successfully kill myself in September, or will I fuck up and/or pussy out?
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>>38487654
>Will I successfully kill myself in September, or will I fuck up and/or pussy out?

The cards are speaking pretty clear: At the moment, you don't have the will OR the skill to off yourself from this world.
And if you'll gain the courage to do so, the cards are saying that you'll probably fail.
Then again, You've drew a Six of wands, even if upsidedown the card in itself speaks of overcoming obstacles and getting towards objectives. This could either mean that stuff will eventually get better in your life or that your dream of killing yourself will become true, assuming you'll work hard enought.

>>38487563
So much for the "tell the oracle something about yourself."
You go after the other anon because you didn't followed the rules my man.

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Only /r9k/ things
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Every night I stay awake till 3am browsing 4chan and listening to music convincing myself that I want this


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