A game of Fortunately, Unfortunately. I'll start:
Fortunately, I ran out of the police station unseen.
Unfortunately I am a nigger
Fortunately, I have a big dick.
unfortunately, im lurking /r9k/
fortunately, im lurking /r9k/
fuck
how many non-virgin femanons have corrupted virgin robots? Anyone here been tricked by them?
>>35780911
Not a "robot" but I've fucked two virgins that I've met up with off here.
Both completely swallowed the horseshit about
>love is real!
and
>le soulmate maymay
And then went BDP levels of crazy after I never talked to them after hooking up. Had to block both of them.
It's super easy to rope in """fembots""", and you don't have to get attached because all of them are total trash. Highly recommend.
Just don't be a beta faggot and fall into the same trap you're setting.
>>35780980
i bet they were horrifically ugly
>>35781870
Ehh. Both were in the 4-5 range. One of the was decently fat though.
At least she carried it well.
Have you ever snapped so hard at your parents that you went overboard?
Story time it fag
I threatened to rape my mother once, she brought it up once 8 years later and I pretended I didnt remember
>>35780874
yeah i kicked my mum for hitting the dog, she was really upset by it and I understand it was an overreaction but she had no right to hurt my doggy :(
>Bought a bag of raisins to try and eat healthy
>Almost as much sugar as a bar of chocolate
What the fuck?
So the only fruits I actually like are just as unhealthy as junk food?
Why is everything that tastes nice full of calories and all low calorie food tastes like dogshit?
Thanks a lot, God, you fucking troll.
>>35780864
Start eating more fats, especially things like steak and eggs.
>>35780889
Could have worded your post better.
You need calories, proteins etc to live a long and healthy life, so don't be afraid to eat red meats, fish, eggs yada yada. Where most people go wrong is eating red meats that have been processed to hell and pumped full of sodium.
And no, you can't live off fruits and veggies. Every self professed vegan always talks about being healthy and stronger when in actually they're weak as fuck.
See this news article:
http://time.com/4344556/mount-everest-death-climbing-vegan/
>>35780864
Congratulations you fat fuck, you're addicted to sugar. Non-sugary stuff doesn't taste bad, you're just addicted to the dopamine kick your brain let's off when you eat sugar, and you're not used to not getting it when you eat. It is literally the same as any other chemical dependency.
I promise, once you detox sufficiently, the things that taste terrible to you now will taste delicious, you'll get the same pleasure from a salad as you do now from cupcakes.
Cut out sugar. ESPECIALLY SODA NEVER TOUCH THAT FUCKING POISON
>parents beat you and abuse you as a child
>meet a girl later in life
>"open" up to her and tell her your parents abused you
>as a result she starts loving you
Why does this feel like you're manipulating the girl?
>>35780826
I don't know but I love you a little too now
Why not play the cards you're dealt. People like to feel useful/trusted, you're not hurting her by confiding in her and making her a part of your world, right?
>Why does this feel like you're manipulating the girl?
Because it is manipulation.
But if you open up to a girl, 9 times out of 10 you end up deep in the friend-zone since women inherently feel the need to compulsively "take care" of people and help them out.
From my experience it's the opposite.
In her eyes you are "broken", so she will try to avoid you from then on.
>watch a joi
>getting into it
>she starts calling me a different name
>boner dies
>starts ranting about cuck shit
goddamn it /tv/
>>35780745
>watch joi
>there's only like 5-10 good joi videos
>maturbate to the same 5-10 videos everyday for the past 3 years
Why can't Kendra, Zoey and Raylene make new JOI videos???
>watch a joi
>she tells me to eat my own cum
One of my mates has gotten prtentious and claims that he invented "RIIIIII" scream before the 4chin.
>made a loud RIIIII noise back in 2012. Gave us a good chuckle
>had no clue what normies even were or the fact that they needed to exit the premises
>back then pronounced pepe as "Peep" for crying out loud
>using knowyourmaymay as source that first archived Riiii was in 2014
>patientzeroofautism.jpeg
Ive told him basement dwellers have been around longer than he has but he wouldnt budge
Any way to correct him and bring his ego below the earths crust?
Pic related, its his 'evidence'
dont frogs literally go REEEEEEEE in real life when distressed?
>>35780774
Yes they kinda do
REEEEEE is from a story someone told on r9k about an autistic kid at their school. Can't find it but it's out there somewhere. Who knows? Maybe your friend is that very autist.
there is a classmate at uni that since last week is talking to me a lot and seems interested in me, im probably the only male she really speaks, the problem is that she is a commie and a feminazi and im a libertarian conservative, but i kinda like her... it seems really contradictory, maybe cuz im autismo and if any girl gives me attention i tend to feel something for her. what do robots?
>>35780685
red pill her dipshit.
>>35780685
>a commie girl maybe likes me wat do
pump and dump, you dont have to date her.
Redpill her with your dick anon, for us.
>grandma calls
>asks if I have a gf
>Obv I don't
That poor woman literally said that she won't die untill she sees me married.
>>35780565
you should tell your grandma that she is gonna achieve immortality
Well your grandma will be a great asset to scientists for hundreds of years to find the solution to immortality, so that's good at least
Ask her to marry you, post response.Incest is best.
>tfw I'm alone with a 8/10 hot latina cleaning lady with a 10/10 ass in yoga pants.
W-what should I do robots? I'm too scared to take a picture. I've never been harder in my life, it's like an irl porno.
>>35780545
TAKE A PICTURE FAGGOT
Try to take a pic. Also get her to feel bad for you, Latina bitches love taking care of others when they aren't extracting your soul from your body with their anger and rage
NOTHING, AS YOU DID ALWAYS IN YOUR LIFE
LATER FAP AT IDEA, THAT YOU DID SOMETHING
>Ooga booga whyboi bix nood muffign ayo
I hate being black.
I hate you for being black. That said I find it hard to sympathise with the most normie race.
>always having drugs
>always having fun
>always having chicken
>always having your "squad" to keep your back
>complaining
The good thing about life is that if you don't like it, you can always opt out.
that nerdy quiet girl you have a crush on and you think is like you? this is what she's doing tonight.
lmaoooooo this nigga doesnt give a shit
>>35780500
>having a crush on a nerdy quiet girl
lol
>>35780500
>girl
>nerdy
>implying
lmao
>alright class get into groups of (x number)
>"Uh, teacher, I don't have a group"
>Alright anon, go with that group
>"Eugh not anon" "Can't he go in someone elses group"
The worst part about all of that shit is that YOU'RE the one that get blamed. Other kids don't want to hang out with you? Well, YOU have a problem with social skills!
>"Hey everybody! Listen. I'll do most of the work if anybody joins my group"
>>35780481
Holy fuck this image is sad. Just the look on his face, only his mother there to light his candle and sing happy birthday celebrating the fact he's lived two eights of his life, probably alone.
Am I dead yet
Help
Well, what happened? You fuck.
should have taken your contacts out. now you have allowed the bacteria to begin to erode your eyes.
>>35780498
I just woke up like this
>>35780532
I don't wear contacts
Post your robot music.
how is that robot music? those guys probably fuck qts on a daily basis , rock music cant be robot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oj6DBi264DI
the true robot musician,BUcketheat
all he does is autistically play guitar,more than 300 albums,
>>35780820
Neil Peart is a robot who is uncomfortable with fame
Living on a lighted stage
Approaches the unreal
For those who think and feel
In touch with some reality
Beyond the gilded cage
Cast in this unlikely role
Ill-equipped to act
With insufficient tact
One must put up barriers
To keep oneself intact
Living in the limelight
The universal dream
For those who wish to seem
Those who wish to be
Must put aside the alienation
Get on with the fascination
The real relation
The underlying theme
Living in a fish eye lens
Caught in the camera eye
I have no heart to lie
I can't pretend a stranger
Is a long-awaited friend
All the world's indeed a stage
And we are merely players
Performers and portrayers
Each another's audience
Outside the gilded cage