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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1430. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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>need a shit
>no toilet paper or substitute
>walk to local convenience store
>qt works behind the only check out
>she lives down the road from me as well
>It's only when I get to the checkout realise I'm buying toilet paper in front of a qt
>toilet paper than I'm going to wipe my anus with
>fucking embarrassing
>go bright red
>she makes small talk but I just panic and mumble
>don't even take the change

FUCK why is it so hard to buy products like that. I can't go back there now and I don't have a car to get to the next shop next time reeeee
14 posts and 2 images submitted.
>>
youll be fine, trust me. her perspective of the whole situation probably wasn't like that. She probably didn't even care enough about you and the toilet paper to follow a train of thought to carry her to imagining the image of you on a toilet with your new toilet paper wiping your ass. Over thinking can be bad
>>
>>38773473
No shit mate, everyone needs toilet paper for that.
Stop being retarded, and more importantly stop treating normies as anything but npcs.
>>
>>38773473
Everybody poops, m8.

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Be honest, do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend who truly loves you?
50 posts and 11 images submitted.
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>>38773436
>do you have a girlf-
I'mma stop you right there. Answer's no.
>>
>>38773436
once upon a time I had the affection of imperfect perfection
really dropped the ball with her tho lol
>>
forgot that existed

What are some robot approved YouTubers?
Anybody else like bill wurtz stuff?
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
>>
This is Dan Bell.
Some dude who explores dead malls and abandoned places. Also extensively examines cheap hotel rooms (be advised, you'll never wanna step foot into another hotel room again after even watching just one video.)
>>
Bull Wurtz is the epitome of Reddit
>>
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>>38773395
Mumkey jones is certified fresh in my book.

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how do i get more views on youtube? im a music producer and all my shit fucking sucks even though ive been doing it non stop for years and i dont get any views or anything on youtube

should i just quit or? im getting pretty pissed ive been persistent but this is just rediuclous. I just feel like giving up.
50 posts and 2 images submitted.
>>
>>38773373
Post your channel here

>inb4 i don't want to

That would be the kind of attitude that is not getting you views
>>
>>38773389
I don't wanna be associated with r9k tho
>>
>>38773510
post channel so we can downvote bro

What type of man are you attracted to anon?

I love big, bearish men. The beefier the better.
14 posts and 4 images submitted.
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The type of man that has boobs and a vagina (optional) and looks like a woman
>>
>>38773358
A-a-a-are you a fan of Dream Daddy?
>>
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>>38773462
>The type of man that has boobs and a vagina (optional) and looks like a woman

this really activates the almonds

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>tell someone "kill yourself"
>he actually kill himself
14 posts and 5 images submitted.
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some people take this site for real
this shit is toxic as fuck lol.
>>
>>38773355
I always tell people to kill themselves on the off chance they actually do it. Im sure SOMEONE has at least TRIED after being told one too many times and i was the one to push them. Tfw btw
>>
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>tell someone to fugg off
>they actually fugg off xd

Hey robots, can I get some advice? I'm a KHV fembot who can't seem to get a guy because they all label me as too creepy.
I mean, so what if I love hanging around graveyards at night, or summoning demons using a Ouija board, I deserve love too, right?

>tfw no mushroom and darkness loving bf
25 posts and 8 images submitted.
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>>38773222
checked your trips, but
1. girls can't be robots
2. you aren't actually a girl

take care
>>
>>38773222
hot creepy girls still get dick all the time, you are probably just fat/ugly
>>
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>>38773222
>real life hex maniac
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

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Fembots, what's your excuse to not get a qt lovely boyfriend right now?
32 posts and 8 images submitted.
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is it any wonder that /r9k/ is the worst board on 4chan and you are all pathetic?
>>
>>38773204
Do black girls like skinny white guys?
Because most girls if not the only ones that hit on me are black, and I'm skinny like guy in op pic.
>>
>>38773204
he might have a decent looking woman if she lost alot of weight.

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New virgin vs. Chad thread!

OC highly appreciated
99 posts and 38 images submitted.
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>>38773083
I hope you intentionally made that badly because it completely misses the point of the meme and isn't funny at all
>>
>>38773083
you missed the point stupid cuck
>>
This is going to be a problem.

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>anon im innocent you saw pls tell polis im innocent
Police: is he?
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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I cannot ascertain guilt or innocence due to a lack of information officer
>>
>>38773069
look at that nice outfit of course he is
>>
>>38773104
but you clearly saw what happened, anon

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Pretty soon I'll be 30, then 40, then 50. You might say "hey you still got time to get your shit together, you're 29". But it's over. I've never worked. Never had a job. I went to college but dropped out. Never been on a date. I'm a dicklet. I'm schizophrenic. Never done anything really except play with video games. I can look back at my life and give you millions of stories about what I did in video games and the people I came across from online games but nothing from real live interactions. I'm living vicariously though the characters I play in games. These facts used to make me sad and I guess it made me sad because I still had hope. Protip to all the young robots: It gets better once all your hope to change or get better goes away. Either you learn to live with being a loser at life or you kill yourself.

I'm gonna be 50 years old living with relatives, no job and unable to support myself, playing video games every day...living vicariously through the characters in my games. And you know what....its ok now. I feel better about being a loser and noone can make me feel bad again.
16 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>38773022
Reality is just a shitty game
>>
>>38773022
>Almost 30

The pressure is unreal

But in the time of war we have courageous moments
>>
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>>38773022
change something or stop complaining, faggot.

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Post your school shooter achievements robots.
73 posts and 7 images submitted.
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>>38773009
>Rodger That
>Kill the top 10 most popular girls in school
>>
>>38773009
The Fourth Reich

Put a jewish student into a cafeteria oven
>>
>Natural selection
>Equip yourself with an uzi and a sawed off

>Avenging the crusades
>Kill 10 christian students with a single suicide vest

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>tfw live in a flat with 3 other people
>we share internet and the router is connected only in one room
>one of the flatmates leaves and a girl comes into his place
>gets a fucking lock on her room doors
>she left for work and willingly or not disconnected the fucking router from power
>tfw no internet
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

What do? I can't really move the router anywhere because of the fucking cables.
In fact I used to live in another flat where this shit also happened and it was happening ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I left that place to live somewhere else in peace and I did until now.
14 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38773002
talk with the other roomates about it, OP you and atleast 2 other people suffered because of this. have it moved????
>>
>>38773087
Well technically the other roommate isn't relly there because he's moved out and someone else will be moving in soon but god knows when that happens.
>>
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>>38773123
talk to her about it and that you all frequent the internet

if she is doing it on purpose to fuck with you guys then take something of hers for a day and show her how it feels

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>tfw fell for the weed isn't addictive meme
43 posts and 11 images submitted.
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>tfw fell for the weed should be legalized meme
>>
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You don't become physically addicted to it. You can however develop a mental dependency on it, but that only happens to people that use it every single day/to escape their problems.


Like me.
>>
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>>38773942
>you can't get addicted to it, but you can get addicted to it

please anon. Please try to make sense.

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hey /r9k/ I'm thinking of taking a knife and doing a cut from right above one of my eyes down the eyelid and to the bottom of my cheek

scars look aesthetic so I think this would help me get girls

anyone have any experience with something like this? going for something like pic related
16 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38772969
You'd have to have the rugged look to even come close to pulling that off. Otherwise it'll just look creepy.
>>
>>38772969
That's a really autistic thought, OP.
>>
>>38772969
take some pain killer or something that will numb you before doing so other than that good luck hope they turn out nice


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