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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1666. page

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Hi fellow robots. This is my first post here so bear with me.. I just couldn't really think of a better place to share my story of how I went from a complete betabot to somewhat of a normie.
Pardon my English since it's not my first language.

>be me, 19m, 7 years ago
>I consider myself an ok looking guy
>6.5/10 on a good day
>really shy
>go to high school in a small town
>it's the kind of school where everybody knows each other - not even 100 students
>actually have a couple friends, too beta to talk to girls though
>crushing on almost every girl in my class
>still too beta to talk to any of them except my equally beta m friends
>a normal day consists of dragging my ass through school and playing video games when I'm not masturbating
>one day there was a new girl in class

I have no idea why anyone would move here (my parents did and I still don't know why). It's pretty much the shittiest place ever with nothing to do and your neighbor lives 1 mile away.

>naturally I instantly developed a crush on her as well
>but there was something about her
>she wasn't quite like all the other girls in my class
>she was, I don't know how to say it, but.. so innocent, and cute
>I have to admit she's not the prettiest or best looking girl I've seen but who am I to judge
>she had redish curly hair, freckles, blue/green eyes, pale skin, 7/10
>when the teacher presented her to the class she stood there silent
>of course she got seated on the opposite side of the room as me
>as if I had a chance anyway
>the next couple weeks went by as usual
>she didn't really make any friends cause most of the girls are some total bitches
>a couple guys tried hitting on her, but in a wannabe-chad way so they rather made her into more of a recluse than sliding into her DMs
>I started to notice her more and more as the time went by
>soon she was all I thought about
>maybe it was because i felt a connection to her
>that we were somewhat similar

Running out of space, cont if wanted (not pretyped sry).
27 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>38647563
continue pls, ty
>>
I would also like you to continue please
>>
go on with the story. this stuff is one of the redeeming qualities of this board

What's it like to have phimosis?
44 posts and 10 images submitted.
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Pretty great. Who else /moistboi/ here?

Feels good to be /moist/
>>
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Wouldn't know. My penis is as clean as they come.
>>
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>tfw friend with phimosis lives on the other side of the country
I just want to clean his several-weeks-worth of smegma off with my tongue after sniffing it.

I hate being cut.

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Okay. Seriously. HOW do I get a GF?
I don't see women as objects. I don't see women as walking vaginas. I talk to women how I would talk to as if they were my friends (male). Why is it so hard? I don't treat women differently at all.
42 posts and 5 images submitted.
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Are you ugly? /fit/? Do you approach women? How often?
>>
Chad DOES treat women differently though

If you treat women like friends then they'll see you as a friend and not sexually at all
>>
>>38647332
>I don't treat women differently at all
That's the problem, men and women are different.

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who here can't drive. I'm 18. Is this bad?
35 posts and 4 images submitted.
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Yes, you should probably kill yourself. Too autistic for normalfags, too dumb for robots. Must suck.
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>>38647305
i mean i dont blame you if you couldnt get into the driving classes because i know from experience bunches of kids want to be able to drive so the classes almost fill up instantly and when i say that when i filled out an application for the class (it was online) the classes were already filled 5 minutes after it was posted online

if you have not tried to get into the class then you are lazy and its pathetic that you cant drive just because you didnt put in initiative to do apply for the class
>>
>>38647305
nah friend its okay
I just got my learners permit the other daay and Im well into my 20s
But my advice is don't put it off do get it as soon as you can

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>heard you were talking shit

how do you respond?
15 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>38647274
>not as much as how you look
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>>38647302
This is exactly the kind of autistic response I would expect from a robot
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>>38647328
I'm self aware.

My mom said I look like a school shooter, seemed baffled when I got offended, and then told my dad to turn off my wifi.
Fun times.
30 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>38647273
Whenever I post my face on /b/ I get told I look like a child molester.
>>
>>38647472
>never posted my face for this exact worry that I am actually a completely vile waste of filth and I'm too afraid to know the truth
>>
I got told that by a girl I went to school with. It'll be okay Anon.
>tfw 10 years later and it still hurts.

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Reminder that if you don't have a SEVERE chronic illness you need to fuck off back to /soc/ with the rest of the normalfags.
And no, psych conditions don't count.
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38647208
lol lrn 2 bowel movement op
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>>38647208
also get assfucked less maybe
>>
>>38647223
I can bowel movement fine, the problem is the shit and urine leaking into my scrotum from the fistulas burnt open by my immune system.

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Anything you wan to say to a robot who might have brain cancer and will probably never even hold a girls hand?
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
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I wish I had brain cancer
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>>38647144
It's overrated.

You'll make it.
>>
ill be the token femanon who says she would be your gf if she lived near you to make you feel better

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>unhygienic
>violent
>lazy
>mature slower
>more likely to kill and rape
>more likely to cheat and abandon their own children
>more likely to have severe mental disorders
Women are superior and men are trash.
441 posts and 111 images submitted.
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>>38647124
this is the best meme i have seen in a while, kek. if you are serious, kill yourself, male feminist
i'd love to see what world would look like without men, it would be so fucked up
>>
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Pretty shitty bait desu, you should gas yourself.
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>>38647124
Humans in general are trash

This planet would have been better off without us

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Still think trans people don't belong in the army? Think again, Drumpfcucks
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38647054
He's not trans he just wants a section 8 to gtfo of that shithole korea
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>>38647054
Yeah he was faking it.
>>
In one of his first episodes the traveling psychologist, Sidney Freedman, offers him a section 8. Klinger refuses because he's not gay.
Just some food for thought.

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>7.5 Billion people on this planet.
>There is likely a Creepy Susie gf out there somewhere.
Guys... Is there hope for me after all? I just want a morbid gf who will love me and commit crimes against God with me.
14 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>38647048
>counting all the niggers, chinks, poos, and other third worlders in your calculation of finding a gf
They're not going to be relatable in any way. At best, you get to count like a third of the population of white countries in these kinds of calculations.
>>
>>38647048
So basically Crispy
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>>38647097
increasing numbers of men are moving to third world countries to find a gf and to escape modern life

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>dont tell anyone my hobbies out of fear they will laugh at me
>all grills think im mysterious and interesting
>all I do is watch anime and draw furry porn in my spare time

If only they knew
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38647031
>draw furry porn in my spare time
end ur life stupid
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>>38647031
Could you share some please
>>
>>38647031
how do u know they think you're mysterious and shit?

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If pedophilia were legal, could Elliot Rodger have been saved?
>his loneliness begun in his childhood
>a blonde female pedophile could have satisfied him
Thoughts, pedobots?
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38647020
>>a blonde female pedophile could have satisfied him

What? Did he almost get molested by an older hot blonde lady?
>>
What a piece of crappy thread. How low are Elliot haters sinking?
>>
>>38647020
Honestly, probably.
Most major mental issues and seclusions/outcastings are simply the way they are because they weren't loved and given intimacy and thus they do not understand it, are afraid of it, or are genuinely ignorant to what to even do.

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Whats the best way to relieve eardrum pressure?
13 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Pour hydrogen peroxide in your ear for two minutes on each side.

By the way can you post your asshole?
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>>38646980
yawning, swallowing, chewing gum
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>>38646980
I use earphones all the time really loud, after using them my ears pop and I feel dizzy.

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>be me, 26 year old homeless virgin
>decide to make a comeback in life and try my hardest learning to code
>pull it off at age 29.
>stay at shelters and keep my homelessness a secret.
>finally can afford to rent a place (fuck yes)
>move up the ladder and now I'm 32.
>girls started becoming into me.
>looks like the comeback is happening.
>police find my computer from 7 years ago that had illegal content on it
>raid my home and I lose my job/friends/gf (didn't even have sex yet was saving for marriage.)
>get put on a list. losing my home this week and have to go to court again soon.
23 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38646862
show some proof so we know u not lyin
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>>38646862
I don't get it. How would they know you have child rape videos on any of your machines at all?
>>
>>38646862
What illegal content? Origino


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