Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1912. page

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Drinking after the denist gave me a anesthetic

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Eh? You've never seen a pair of breasts before? And you're HOW old?! J-Jeez! Ahahahah! W-Well, we'd better fix that, then! Just close your eyes for a sec, aaaaaaand...

HERE! BOING!

AHAHAHAHA! You should have seen the look on your face! J-Jeez, anon! Th-Th-They're just sacks of fat on my chest, ya know! Do they really excite you THAT much?! G-Get a look at this, then! See how they bounce up and down! Jiggle jiggle! I-I bet you want to squeeze them too, don't you, Mr. Perverted Virginboy Anon?! G-Go right ahead! Honk these honkin' honkers as much as you want! Take your time! Heck, s-suck on 'em too! I know you really want to~! Just be careful: my nipples are super hard right now! C-Can't imagine whyyyy...~!

I-I-I-I-I-I bet you wanna see my vagina too! You pervert! W-W-Well, we're already this far! Might as well! I'm not wearing p-panties anyway!

S-S-S-So, what do you think? ...Well, I guess that ragin' 'rection in your pants answers THAT question! HAHAHAHAHA! Y-Y-You're such a pathetic pervert, anon! I-I-I-I bet it's the first one you've seen since you slid out of your mother's! L-L-Look how wet it is, too! Jeezums fucking Crikes, it's so fucking wet! I-I've never seen it this wet before! Look at what you're doing to me, you freaking pervert! Y-You sure know how to make a girl all hot and bothered! Christ-on-a-stick! You'd better take some responsibility for this! A-After all, when it's this wet, it's much easier to cram something up there! And I'm leaking like a freaking sieve here! You'd better p-p-p-plug it up RIGHT NOW!

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I honestly think I'm ready. How do I get a gf?

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femanons, would you fist your bf's ass if he asked you?

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>cut my hair man hair
>spike it up with gel
>grow a beard
>start getting called the new guy at work

:D

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I'm 28 years old. I've never had a gf. I've never tried. I'm a virgin. It is too late for me. I have problems. I'm not good enough. I'm worthless. I have failed. I can't do anything. I should die. I need to die. I can't die mum and Jenna will be upset. They never wanted me anyway. They deserved better. I'm a disappointment. Cunt. Kill yourself. KILL YOURSELF. KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF

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>tfw my FUPA is so fat it literally swallows my balls
>tfw testicles are not in the ballsack

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Any other guys know this feel?

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>decide do do an Ironman triathlon in a couple years to fulfill my childhood dream
>start running
>a few months go by, times improving, sticking to schedule
>start swimming again (swam a lot as a kid)
>shortness of breath because stopped smoking not long ago, but feeling better each time
>start cycling again, do a couple road races, realize bike cardio is fine
>really feel that I can do it, training is the only thing that brings me joy
>one day depression suddenly hits me hard
>smoke a pack of cigarettes in 24 hours
>feel like shit, think my plan is bullshit and there is no point

I don't know if it's worth it, I really want to do it but I don't see the point now... I think it would at least make me temporarily happy, but my brain is my biggest enemy...

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Anyone here call the Samaritans to talk about what's on your mind? Does it help with your depression?

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Mbti thread about mbti stuff

Cognitive functions Edition

Post or else I'll kill you mother fuckers, also Ne is a good function all other functions are gay desu

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Have you ever fantasized being fucked by big horse cock?

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There are people on /r9k/ right now who don't know that we only pretend to be lonley incels

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>walk out of this 0/10 movie
>brother asks me what I think of it
>blatant propaganda trash
>he rolls his eyes
>oh here we go what now femanon
>ask him if he saw any black couples
>he doesn't say anything
>who was Michelle's love interest
>white guy
>who was the vulture's wife married to
>white guy
>who was the indian kid dating
>white girl
>who were the news anchors
>black guy and white girl
>he is stunned and remains silent
>finally asks why they are doing that

I think this movie red pilled my brother.

If you are a Nubian, I want you to go to your mother right now and ask her why she let down her people and her country. Then punch her in the fucking gob

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>Had a panic attack in front of my crush until she calmed me down and treated me like a child
im hopeless