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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4143. page

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>be 10 years old
>in car, on road trip with parents
>have to fart but afraid to gross out parents
>finally get to hotel
>try to find a safe place to fart
>parents say we're gonna swim in the pool and hurry me into the change room
>decide I'll just fart in the pool
>swim to the bottom on the pool and let myself loose
>turns out it wasn't a fart
>force of the diarrhea rockets me out of the water into the air
>splash into the now brown water on my belly
>hear sirens as I see everyone trying to escape the smelly shitty water
>see clean up crew in hazmat suits enter the pool, but go away after they throw up into their gas masks
>see parents enter and yell "What the fuck, Anon!" before they throw up and leave
>tfw that was the last time I ever saw my parents again
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>guy beside me is talking super loudly
>I say one small word
>teacher tells me to be quiet

Its been 12 years and I'm still pissed

Fuck you mrs. mackenzie. I hope you get run over, stupid bitch
4 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>taking a test
>guy nexts to me whispers what the answer to number 3 is
>without even having any time to react the teacher quickly gets up, takes both of our tests, and gives us a 0
burn in hell Ethan
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> Doing jeapardy game for science class
> My group is getting fucked but then I get a chance to carry us to victory
> "Group Anon, why doesn't the change in distance from the sun during the year impact the seasons?"
> I fucking got this
> "Because the distance is already so large that the change doesn't have a measurable impact on the seasons"
> "Hmm that's not quite what I want..."
> My answer was the one word for word from the textbook
> "Group Cunt, do you have an answer?"
> "Well, it's like driving a long trip and finding out you have to go a few blocks further."
> "Good job!"
> Get fucked out of victory because the teacher preferred an anecdote the to the scientific answer

Fuck you Mrs. Angel, I've never been so angered by such a minor slight in my life.
>teach has problem with everything I do
>day 1 hates me
>get nothing but Cs on papers
>graded down for basically nothing
>get Lit grad student to write my freshman-level paper
>guaranteed A work
>still get C
>marked down on not wording phrases the way she wants them and on the correct use of commas
>took it up with the department head and now she doesn't work there anymore
Once you're not in elementary school this gets a lot easier

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>tfw no vlast bf
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>tfw no GF with interesting personality

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>be in class
>think about making loud autism sounds in front of the entire class
>toy with the idea of shitting on people's notebooks
>thinking about cutting everyone's hair
>imagination more interesting than lecture, can't pay attention
When I get drunk I do it uncontrollably

A few years ago I went out with some friends and got wasted. I said nothing but "DAVID BOWIE" for two straight hour

another time I went into a 7/11 and started throwing food around the store yelling "I'M ONLY DOING THIS IRONICALLY"
oh yeah and there's the christmas where I got black out drunk in front of my family and apparently started yelling JACK BLACK IS A NIGGER FAGGOT WHO INVENTED GOOGLE CHROME

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>neighbors dog keep barking at me when I'm on my nightwalk
If I empty my capsaicin drops into a spritzer and spray it in the eyes will it go blind? I don't want to kill it I just want it to not bark every time it sees me walk by.
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
The dog will recognize you by scent, not by sight. Feed it cheese, it will make it's sense of smell worse and probably just make the dog like you.

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>HS prom today
>sitting alone, in my room, playing vidya
>hear the normie music from outside my window and sounds of a carnival
who else /not at prom/ today
3 posts and 2 images submitted.
I really hope its your junior prom.
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I spent my prom night with a friend. We just got drunk and had took part in some criminal mischief, part of it actually at the prom. We slashed the tires and defaced some of the students' cars and vandalized the buildings and areas around prom with swastikas, graffiti, and eggs.
It was definitely a good night.

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>wake up in my room that I spent the last 38 hours in
>take daily sweat-shower, rub chest/arms, run fingers through hair, air dry
>fresh & clean
>gently roll my supple 217 lbs. body out of bed and make way to the computerbook where I post on /r9k/ about my struggles
>"there is literally nothing I can do to improve my circumstances. i was just bullied in high school by chads and stacies that denied me from having teen love! imagine this everyday in high school, it's not about people being more successful, it's dealing with this your entire childhood and teenage years"

>Update. What is this? a reply to my post? let's read what it says
>"Hey man hang in there but maybe you should try leaving your room? Put on deodorant, take a shower with soap, take a walk and look at animals, go to a movie, do some basic exercise, get a job, learn a skill or hobby, take pride in mastery?"

>This is the most ridiculous post I have ever read. He CLEARLY doesn't understand my struggles
>Yell to Aunt Linda I am going to be extra late for brunch today because I have to put down this NORMIE faggot

>"i remember the days on this board when only true robots came here, but now fuckin normie chads like you just come here and ruin it for everyone. fucking go back to (((reddit))). you are the cancer that is killing this board."
>Heh I sure showed him
4 posts and 1 images submitted.
God BBC vs fshdvvdfhdhtgdhckxfjdhgbv vbdjfhjxxhfgcyfhghfyfff
>217 lbs
Dude I'm 225 and I'm not a fuckin slob. I'm overweight but i am not obese. Get out of the fucking house, get a job. Fuck other people. I dicked off my entire high school years, wound up dropping out, found out my grandmother had cancer, and now I'm working toward a better life. Motivation toward fulfillment is all you need to make it in this world man. Get out there and make something of yourself.
>Motivation toward fulfillment is all you need to make it in this world
thats ackchyually a really depressing thought, because intrinsic drive is the thing I'm most lacking.

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what are you doing tonight robots? why are you staying home tonight instead of going out and doing stupid shit?

my friends are a bunch of pussies with girlfriends and they don't feel like shit everytime they don't go out and talk to girls. I go out but I struggle with girls. I'll just stay here tonight smoking a bit of weed in my room, even though all my family just arrived tonight and my house is full. does the smell gets too intense or can it be fixed by leaving the fan blowing to the window?
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
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I fucked a tranny, does that count as losing your virginity or do only girls count?
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
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no girl will ever want to do this with you because your gay
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Its ok guys, everything will be ok for you.
Just stay happy :)
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to any of you with a lesbo chad friend; what kind of girls do they like?
2 posts and 2 images submitted.
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i know there's like two of you with a lesbo chad friend i saw your posts before now tell me

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What are some good HYPOTHETICAL pranks or traps to pull on normies? That last thread was giving me some laughs.
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Truely in these dark times, nothing is sacred.
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Hello, r9k. I've been both a long time lurker and poster, both on this board and among many others. I've learned too many harsh truths about the world around me, mainly through intense red pilling and personal experiences and observations. I used to hold basic conservative/Republican beliefs, but lately I've noticed that I'm beginning to shift in the direction of National Socialism, something I don't necessarily see as a bad thing but it's impairing my thinking. I'm at a crossroads in my life right now and I feel as if I don't leave this site soon I will probably kill myself, drop out of society or just give up all together.
I love you guys and I'm being completely honest when I say that. The problem is that my thinking and attitudes toward modern society are beginning to affect my actions towards others, primarily in social situations, and this site isn't helping me that much in the social department. Plus, I'm gonna state the obvious, this place kills people. Slowly, but surely. Although I am young enough to not have completely wasted all of my time on here, I've invested a good portion of my being and time into this site, and it's killing me.
I intend on leaving for a while (inb4 you're here forever), and I understand that I will be back. We all will. However, I want to do something for you guys. I want to spend enough time away from here and on my own that I can prove to you all that there is something out there for all of us and that life isn't necessarily as gloomy as most anons on here make it out to be. I'm seeking adventure and experience, but primarily a chance to redeem myself from all the wasted time.
I will return and inform you all of my progress. If I can do it, you can, too. If I can't, I guess I'll be stuck here with the rest of you, waiting for death to take me.

I need to make my life right, robots. If I can't do it, then I don't know if any of us will make it.
3 posts and 1 images submitted.
I have faith in you anon. I sense a good future for all of us if we dedicate ourselves to setting things right.
Good luck out there anon. I feel like most of the robots here are just pathetically letting the pessimism overshadow everything. We surely need some awakened anons like you.

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