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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5617. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

I lost my job at walmart today, apparently moving the stuffed mice plush toys around the produce and food sections was

"not funny Roy, not even one little bit, a woman was scared and fell into the cheese display, we're sick of your fucking bullshit, first the watermelon incident and now this? Jesus thirst Roy, you need help. And a new fucking job. Get the fuck out and don't come back"
9 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>36884149
Are you the guy who left watermelons all over the cereal displays?

If it makes you feel better, I laughed.
>>
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Why the fuck would you do that? Are you some kind of idiot?
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>>36884178
No, i kept putting them in the trolleys of black customers, and telling random black customers that we had water melons on sale

The complaints were that watermelons were actually not on sale

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*BURRRRRP*
*sniff sniff*

MMMM, smell that you wagecucks? Thats the smell of the delectable lasagna I made in my abundance of *BURRRRP* free time. I even had time to watch hours of Food Network to expand my knowledge in the extraordinary field of culinary arts.

Haha, I tell ya wagie, NEET life is the best life. My life is *BURRRRP* amazing, I feel so - Oh, whats that wagecuck? You need to go in at 8 am and only have a few hours of sleep left? Ahh, my sincerest apologies wagie, for I know no such thing about living on a crunched schedule like you do. Well then, toodaloo slaves, only a few more hours left! Enjoy your last moments of rest. Ive got the entire day ahead of me. And remember: Another day, another dollar!
250 posts and 84 images submitted.
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>lasagnaposting
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FUCKING NEETKEK FUCK YOU. I HAVE A JOB AND YOU GET TO FUCK MY WIFE. I HAVE TO EAT LEFTOVERS EVERY NIGHT WELL YOU GET TO PREPARE SUPERB FOOD. FUCK YOU BITCH. FUCKING NEETS GET TO ENJOY THE BEST HOURS OF 4CHAN. I ONLY GET TO POST HERE IN MIDDLE OF SHIT NIGHT. AT LEAST I MAKE MONEY AND I DONT LEECH. FUCKING NEETS DIE.
>>
>>36884106
Sure thing buddy, talk to you later.when parents kick you out of your basement and you are left on the streets eating from trash cans because you didn't bother with getting a job.

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So fembots how's it feel to not be good enough for the average robot on here?
27 posts and 2 images submitted.
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ITT:
Thirsty male virgins pretend to be women to garner attention
>>
>>36884126
huehuehue
goddamn robot
>>
>>36884101
Feels terrible
I just want a robot bf :(

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Make sure you do NOT speak to me until he had my coffee,

Thanks
15 posts and 4 images submitted.
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Hello Original Poster how goes it
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hahahaha yes very good funny joke I am also norman and normalise drug addiction
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>>36883929
>>36883970
I've not had my coffee yet, why are you speaking to me

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How do you move to a big city from a small town?

I get it cities are filled with normies and small towns are better you think but I'm so fucking sick of being alone. Even if I do see anyone it's your typical trailer park redneck. My neighbors are all loud and driving shitty pick up trucks and dogs barking and engines revving and yelling all day.

Even if that wasn't bad enough everything is 45 minutes away at least my parents are poor I'm poor my friends are poor everyone's fucking poor. There's no jobs here and minimum wage is the best you'll ever get. There's literally nothing to do but get drunk and the bars are just old people listening to 50s country music and dancing so you just stay at home. That's another thing fucking everyone is old or fat and retarded.

It's not just me I've had friends move here from other places that hate it. Everyone hates it here. All I hear from people when they live somewhere in a city is how much nicer it is.
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Do you live in the south or mid west. Southern '''culture''' is shit. They take pride in being fat and stupid. Rural life in the west is better, but I agree it has it's downsides.

If you don't have any solid skills like a trade or a useful degree, I recommend picking a city and figure out which companies are always hiring. Something like a call center with hundreds of employees and high turnover. (Portland Xerox will apparently hire anyone with a pulse).

If you don't have much saved you'll need a job in advance or a sure bet lined up.
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>>36884540
I live in upstate ny so it's like all that but more expensive cold and higher taxes
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>>36883900
>tfw you just want to live in a rural, northern state but you're trapped in the middle of LA with no means to move

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What's stopping you from killing yourself?

>i don't want my friends and family to be sad
That's literally the only reason
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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I'm really close to my brother, if I die he will be a broken person.
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>>36883873
Why they'll get over it. You're just a puss puss and that's okay.
>>
I want to meet a woman and fall in love ;_;

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mines pretty bad to the point where it's fucked up my life. I have no interest or will to succeed. Majorly indecisive when I try to do something to the point I just give up and do nothing.
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36883805
>abulia
thanks OP i never knew this was a thing before. not sure if i have some symptoms of it because i'm indecisive and avoid making decisions. even simple things like choosing a type of candy makes me indecisive
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>>36883805
whats Abulia desu sounds kinda cute
>>
>>36883961
Abulia
>an absence of willpower or an inability to act decisively, as a symptom of mental illness.

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What percentage of women under 40 have been gangbanged?
24 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>36883789
Same percentage as your mom
>>
Most have not

I don't know a single girl that as been and I know a lot of normie bitches
>>
how else are you supposed to take a dick pic?

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I'm genuinely curious as to what I'm doing wrong.
pic unrelated.
171 posts and 23 images submitted.
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>>36883787
Something something lack of testicular fortitude?
>>
>>36883787
browsing 4chan

srs
>>
>types in stutters
>uses reddit (not a joke)
>masturbates to trap porn
>enjoys looking at gore just for fun
>credit card debt

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I got kicked out my first semester of uni. Normies feel free to shit on me for being a loser

>Go to well regarded college
>Have major depression but not taking medication yet, my only two friends stopped talking to me, virgin, no one to talk to, weather is always garbage, extremely anxious every time i leave my room even after months of living there
>One time i just sit in front of my door for an hour because i hear people in the common room and i don't want them to look at me
>piss in bottles to avoid seeing people
>Skip lunch most days and just eat in my room
>Feel disgusted at myself every time i wake up
>Do ok in studies in the beginning and i'm actually on top of things
>Hide my autisbot power level pretty well and act friendly and social enough when i'm in classes
>Stay up late just watching old movies, grow to dislike my major and the way my professors teach
>Oversleep my chem midterms even though i had 5 alarms on at max volume
>Do pretty mediocre on other finals, C and C-
>Only officially passed like 2 classes
>Grow to hate myself because i thought i was actually somewhat intelligent, 3.7 GPA in high school
>I actually end up skipping some classes because technically impossible to pass now after taking a zero hit
>After semester ends get a letter from them telling me to get the fuck out immediately
>got a probation notice probably 2 days before this
>Thought i could just meet my adviser and fix things maybe, its only the first semester so i thought i could salvage it
>Write them an honest letter telling them how i'm not used to living like this, and i really don't care about my major and i'm willing to work on something i'm actually interested in
>Send me back a reply after in 12 hours saying they don't care
>Have to look at the disappointment of my parents and just nothing but bitter regret on their faces all the time
>tfw cant cry
>Just in a state of numbness and misery every day

Sort your shit out before going to uni robots.
25 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36883696
>Grow to hate myself because i thought i was actually somewhat intelligent, 3.7 GPA in high school
This is one of the biggest redpills. High school grade inflation is an atrocity. Sorry you had to realize your mediocrity this way, but trust me, it gets better when you accept that you're a failure.
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>>36883696
You know there's so much material online now that you could easily have passed your classes while only leaving your dorm for finals and food
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>>36883731
I guess so. My teachers were always inflating my ego, I guess I was just a dummy after all.

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NEVER TRUST A PERSON WITH BLUE EYES

They are manipulative and will try to get something from you just to then ignore you

THEY ARE LIKE THE DEVIL
40 posts and 5 images submitted.
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everyone is the devil except for me
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>>36883630
>t. Non white
Jamal please go
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>>36883630
i'll fucking cut you for talking shit about my bluey eyes, faggot.

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This nofap stuff is hard as fuck. I get a half chub just from random shit crossing my mind.
15 posts and 1 images submitted.
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No fap is useless.
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>>36883568
How do you guys stop the precum? Seriously, 3 days in and my dicks drooling 24/7
>>
no fap is pointless, masturbation is normal and prohibiting yourself from doing it will lead to constant failures and eventually giving up. no porn is attainable and actually has benefits

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Have you ever done anything that you first thought was awesome, but later made you feel disgusted by yourself?

I spied on a good friend while she was in the shower, because I found a peep hole. At first I was like "great memory for the spank bank", but later I literally felt like throwing up from the thought of betraying her trust.
14 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>friend
>female friend

>>>/soc/
>>>/out/
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>>36883544
agreed
so many fucking normies these days.
>>
>>36883581

>normie

this word makes me cringe every time i see it. it's like a milder form of normalfags, used only by normalfags that are oblivious to their own normalfaggotry

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>26 year old friendless khv
>coworkers beginning to ask me more and more personal questions
>any day now they're going to ask me if I'm a virgin
>need a clever self-deprecating joke to play it off once they do
>epiphany happens
>realize exactly how I will craft the conversation to my advantage
>"Really anon, you're a virgin? Why?"
>"Oh, I'm not much of a people-person."
>"So you like animals then, huh? Haha"
>"Must be my Scottish ancestry :^), haha"
Then everyone will laugh and a shy qt in the group will step forward and make a sheepish sound and everyone will laugh again and then she'll invite me for coffee and I'll say yes and she'll realize I'm not that bad of a person I just have mild social anxiety and needed the ice to be broken and then we'll start dating and get married.

Try to poke a hole in my flawless plan, I dare you.
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36883509
Scots don't fuck sheep. Welsh do.

What now OP?
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>>36883509
>>"So you like animals then, huh? Haha"
That would pretty much make my brain stop working. I would probably get up and walk out of the room
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>>36883571
Shit, good catch. Thanks anon, I've corrected my notes.

Do females naturally have hairy legs or is that a meme?

Billions of women cannot possibly all be shaving their legs all the time enough to make it so they never look like they have any, right?
16 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36883467
They have hairy legs, and yes, most women (at least here in california) shave incessantly. If you don't believe me, try looking at a girl's legs in a place where it's cold enough that they can wear long-legged pants everyday. If they aren't sexually active, they will not bother shaving their legs, and they will indeed be hairy. Of course, most women are sexually active, so they'll be shaving. I only know because my sister used to have friends over and all of them had hairy legs in the winter, no exception. They weren't even middle eastern or anything, just whites, asians, and latinas.
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>>36883705
This.

I assume you don't have facebook, OP, because whenever winter approaches my feed is inundated with jokes about girls not having to shave anymore
>>
>meet qt on tinder
>notice she doesn't shave her legs or arms
>time to undress
>she has a shaved pussy

Why ;_;


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